


We're Young, We're Dumb, and We Don't Care

by BringMeThePhan



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: A lot of this was written with no sleep, Alternate Universe - No Band, Fluff, M/M, Really cute, Some scenes could be considered violent, This came out wayy longer than I thought, and now it's really angsty, angst in some parts, but no one has said anything bad yet so yay for long story that was winged from chapter 4 on, cause I become good at writing at 1am like a switch goes off, it's just a lot more angst, just probably really bad cause I'm not the best at writing smut, not like it wasn't before, not supersuper dirty though, or triggering, probably eventual smut, roadtripping, so enjoy some random stuff all tied together somehow, wOW I'm sorry mom this got way dirtier than I first thought, yep there's definitely smut in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:28:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 49,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6431782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BringMeThePhan/pseuds/BringMeThePhan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><strong>wan·der·lust</strong><br/>ˈwändərˌləst/<br/><em>noun</em></p><p>    a strong desire to travel.<br/>In which Tyler leaves home for his reasons, and meets Josh who left school for his own</p><p>//Title credit: Forever Stuck In Our Youth- Set It Off</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Two hours. I had been walking for hours with nothing but a backpack of clothes and whatever else I could fit in there, and my ukulele, alongside the side of the highway. I was surprised no one had run him over yet, with how small I was and the darkness that enveloped the world in night. Less cars started driving by as it got later, leaving me in the silent dark of the late night. It was unnerving, but so much better than what I just left. Anything was. All I had to remember my old home by now was a fat lip and black eye from my last experience there before I decided enough was enough. I continued to walk for a long time, reaching an intersection. Right as I went to cross, an old pickup came racing by, barely hitting me. I fell to the pavement, aware enough to roll without hitting my head on the road.  
  
“Oh shit! Are you okay? I am so sorry!” The driver came out of the car and ran over to where I was laying on the road, grabbing at my head. He hovered over me while I took in my state. I didn’t have anything in weird angles, and only a slight headache.  
  
“Well that could’ve been worse.” I joked darkly before taking his outstretched hand to balance on.  
  
“Do you need to go to a hospital or something? It’s the least I can do after hitting you like that.”  
  
No, I think I’m- Ow!” I lost my balance after standing, the only reason for me to still be standing was the stranger helping me balance.  
  
“It hurts to stand?” He held onto me, worry filling his features.  
  
“Y-Yeah. Just a little tho-ough.” My voice cracked when I tried to stand again grimacing in pain.  
  
“Oh no. Here, I think I have some stuff inside just sit here a minute?” He led me over to the bed before seating me on the edge before going inside, coming back out with a first aid kit.  
  
“All I can do for now is wrap it. If it’s worse than that though, we can go to the hospital-“  
  
“No it’s alright. That won’t be necessary.” I didn’t want to go to the hospital. They’d have to call my parents since I’m under 18 and then they’d know I ran off when they weren’t looking. He just shrugged before pulling out a roll of tape and wrapping it cautiously around my ankle.  
  
“You’re pretty good at caring for injuries.” I commented, mentally cringing at my attempt of conversation. He chuckled while continuing, not losing his focus for a second.  
  
“I guess that’s what comes with three years of medical school.”  
  
“Only three?”  
  
“Eh, yeah. I dropped out before the fourth. Couldn’t take the thought that I’d be stuck somewhere the rest of my life if I did that.” He cut the tape off the roll once he finished. “That ought to do it. I can give you a ride to wherever you’re going, to help you stay off that sprain a while longer.” My heart sank.  
  
“I don’t really have anywhere that I’m going to.”  
  
“So you were just walking on the side of the highway in the middle of the night for no reason?” He raised his eyebrow.  
  
“Well… not without reason, but without a destination. Just wanted out I guess.” I shrugged, not wanting to give too much away.  
  
“Well, then hop in.” I stared up at him confused.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Get in the truck. You don’t have anywhere to go, neither do I.” He opened the passenger door before coming back around to try and help me inside.  
  
“But I just met you?” I didn’t even know this guy’s name! How did he expect me to trust him to go with him?  
  
“Well, I can take you back to wherever you were befo-“  
  
“No, no. I’m going inside, don’t worry.” I quickly got up and hobbled over to the door, putting my bag at my feet while holding my ukulele in my lap after sitting in the passenger seat. He chuckled before sitting in the driver’s seat.  
  
“Well dude, I’m Josh. What have you always wanted to see?” He smiled, his eyes lit with excitement for adventure.  
  
“Tyler. And I don’t know. Anything but Ohio at this point, maybe California?”  
  
“California it is. Maybe you can tell me the story behind your shiner on the way.” He started the car and began driving onto the highway again, the sun making its way in the sky at this point.  
  
“Sleep first. Story later.” I yawned before curling up in the seat, falling asleep leaned against the window soon after.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So if any of you have read my story "I've Got Two Faces", I'll be using the same publishing schedule for this as that one. Which is two chapters a day. I hope you guys like this story, cause I'm pretty excited for it! ^w^

I woke up a while later, half panicked at finding myself in unfamiliar surroundings before remembering what happened. I sighed and closed my eyes, still burning slightly from the sun.  
  
“Well good morning sunshine.” Josh joked while driving, continue to hum to some song on the radio.  
  
“Hey.” I replied sleepily before stretching into a normal sitting position. We sat in silence for a few minutes before trying to start some conversation.  
  
“Were you driving the whole night?”  
  
“Well we’re not going to get to California making multiple stops, are we?”  
  
“You just answered my question with another question!” I pouted slightly while he laughed.  
  
“I did answer it though. But if you want an actual answer, yes. I was up all night driving.”  
  
“Aren’t you tired? I can drive if you want.” I offered. He looked over at me incredulously before looking back out at the road.  
  
“Are you even old enough to drive?” I scoffed.  
  
“Yeah! I’m almost 19, not 12!” I crossed my arms and huffed before silence settled over us again. Josh filled the silence by turning the radio on, singing along really badly to pop songs from the eighties while driving down the empty road. I stared out the window watching the clouds and scenery as we passed by for hours. I watched for hours before finally speaking up again.  
  
“I spy, with my little eye…”  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“Playing ‘I Spy’. It’s fun.”  
  
“Do people actually play that game in the car? I thought they only did that in cheesy movies.” I turned him, slightly shocked.  
  
“You’ve never played ‘I Spy’?”  
  
“No, and I don’t plan on it either.”  
  
“Well now we have to! I spy, with my little eye… something blue.” He sighed, probably rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses.  
  
“Is it the sky?”  
  
“No, it’s the ‘Welcome to Indiana’ sign we just passed.” I pouted slightly. “Now it’s your turn.”  
  
“Tyler I can’t, I’m- “  
  
“It’s really easy. You just find something on the side of the road or anywhere else, and then you say ‘I spy, with my little eye, something-‘ and then you say what color it is.” He sighed.  
  
“Fine. I spy, with my little eye, something in a black sweater.” I looked down at my black hoodie and frowned.  
  
“Is it me?”  
  
“Yeah! Good job. Now you go.” He rolled his eyes again, chuckling slightly.  
  
“You’re not supposed to choose me! You have to choose something outside the car.”  
  
“Just go again!” He giggled slightly.  
  
“Alright- I spy, with my little eye, something with pink hair.”He huffed.  
  
“It’s me.”  
  
“Yeah! See, it’s not that hard to play.”  
  
“Can you find another game to play?”  
  
“I don’t know any other games.” He groaned slightly before turning the radio on. He started singing along and blasting the radio when any random song he liked came on. I sang along a little quieter than him, but not any better.  


After a few hours, we sat in silence while the empty fields around us were colored by the sunset. Josh yawned continuously, worrying me a little.  
  
“If you’re really tired, I can drive-“  
  
“No it’s fine, really.”  
  
“Okay.” I shrugged and resumed staring out the window, the car starting to slow to a stop.  
  
“Shit…” Josh sighed annoyed before getting out of the car.  
  
“Something wrong?” I unbuckled the seatbelt and followed him out.  
  
“Yeah, we’re out of gas.” He walked over to a blue sign by the exit and smiled slightly.  
  
“At least this time there’s a gas station nearby.” He pulled a few containers out of the bed.  
  
“I’m gonna go fill these up with enough to get us to the station. I’ll be back, okay? Just watch the truck.” I nodded before sitting in the bed, watching the sky while waiting for him. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice another car pull up until I heard a voice talking.  
  
“Hey sweet cheeks, need a ride?” Some guy who looked way older than me asked. I shifted away slightly, feeling uncomfortable.  
  
“N-No thanks. Just waiting.”  
  
“Well maybe I could wait with-“  
  
“No thanks. He’ll be back in a few minutes, I’m sure.”  
  
“Oh come on, I’m sure a few minutes couldn’t hurt. A pretty thing like you shouldn’t be left alone like this.” He moved beside me in the bed of the truck, too close for me to be comfortable. I blushed when he placed his hand on my thigh, batting it away before moving to the other side.  
  
“I told you no thanks. I’m just waiting.” His face dramatically changed to anger before his hand came down on my cheek.  
  
“Don’t talk back! No wonder you have the black eye. Whoever it was must’ve been generous.” He grumbled before crawling into my lap.  
  
“No- please stop!” I cried out.  
  
“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I heard Josh scream before pulling him off me. He started punching him, moving to kicking his gut when he was down.  
  
“He- said- _no!_ ” He screamed in between kicks before moving his attention to me. “You okay?” I nodded slightly, a few tears streaming down my cheeks.  
  
“Y-Yeah…” I shakily got out of the bed and inside the cab of the truck. “Ca-an we just go?” He nodded before picking up the containers and pouring their contents in the car's gas tank.  
  
“I think I have enough to go for another 50 miles, which should be enough to find another gas station.” He glared at the guy while he hobbled back to his car before getting in and starting the car.  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super late updates today cause I woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon after not getting like any sleep last night, so yeah. Hopefully the quality didn't go down from lack of sleep in these!

We drove in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up.  
  
“I’m so sorry about that guy, I shouldn’t have left you like that.” I remained silent thinking about what to respond with, before my thoughts turned to the interaction that happened before.  
  
“Tyler? Are you okay?”  
  
“Can we not talk about it again?” He nodded before silence continued again.  
  
“Alright. Can I ask something else then?” I nodded unsure of what he wanted to know.  
  
“How did you get out here- like why were you out walking by yourself last night, and is it related to your eye?” I sighed, only answering because I remembered I told him I would later.  
  
“Yeah. My dad, he- it didn’t end well. I came out as gay, and then he got mad. So I ran when he got tired of punching me for a few minutes.” We remained in uneasy silence for a few minutes before he thankfully changed the subject.  
  
“I think there’s a motel nearby. We can stop there for the night.” I nodded, grateful for the chance to sleep in a bed. My neck hurt still from sleeping in a car the night before.  


He drove for a while longer before pulling into the parking lot of a motel 6. I got out with him and grabbed my bag, sitting somewhere in the lobby while he checked us in. He came back over and handed me one of the key cards.  
  
“We’re in 105. It’s not fancy but it’s somewhere at least.” He sighed slightly while walking down the hall, me following. He opened the door and walked in before groaning.  
  
“I’m sorry. I swear I asked for two beds, or at least a sofa. I can take the floor if you want-“ He rambled on while I flopped on the bed, laying on my stomach.  
  
“Either way works for me, I don’t care.” I murmured into the sheets before getting up and walking into the bathroom to change. When I got out, I saw him cuddled up under the sheets already. I smiled slightly and moved under the covers on the other side of the bed, falling asleep soon after.  


I woke up early in the morning, unable to move. I looked over to see Josh’s arms and legs wrapped around me, his head resting in the crook of my neck. At least he didn’t snore loudly. I moved slightly, something hard digging in my back. _Oh_. That made this even more awkward. I tried to move out of his grip, only to find it tightening around me. I sighed, not wanting to wake him, but that seemed to be the only way. I started poking his side gently.  
  
“Josh.” I continued poking him, gently shaking him too. He groaned.  
  
“5 more minutes…”  
  
“ _Josh_.” He started waking up after that.  
  
“Hmm?” His eyes went wide after a few seconds with realization. “Oh god, I-I’m sorry.” He moved away quickly before crawling out of the covers. “I-I’ll take the first shower to, uhm, yeah.” He grabbed his bag before practically running to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. I sat up in bed, bored. Going out for a walk was completely out of question, so I settled to watching the hotel’s TV. He came out a while later while I had some random movie on.  
  
“Shower’s all yours.” I turned the TV off before grabbing my bag and locking the door behind me. I showered quickly before changing and leaving the bathroom. He turned the TV off and gathered all his things into his bag while I grabbed my ukulele.  
  
“Ready to go?” I nodded, following him out to the truck after checking out. He got in the driver’s seat and started the car, a cup of complimentary hotel coffee in his hand- black coffee.  
  
“You don’t put anything in your coffee?” I looked down at the cup quizzically.  
  
“Nope. Doesn’t need anything- coffee tastes good the way it is.” He took a sip while I gagged at the thought of plain coffee.  
  
“But it’s so bitter that way!”  
  
“Hey man, some people like different things.” He locked eyes with me while taking a long sip.  
  
“That has to be so gross…” I murmured while turning to look out the window. I watched the scenery as we passed, pulling a disposable camera out of my bag. I hadn’t used it in a long time, but I brought a few anyways because I wasn’t sure if I’d want them. I got a few pictures of the scenery as it rushed past, but I couldn’t tell if they were good until I got the film developed somewhere.  
  
“You like photography?” Josh looked over at me holding the camera, looking outside through the viewfinder. I shrugged.  
  
“I guess. It’s pretty fun, and it always got me out of the house for a while.” He nodded before turning back to the road. I looked over at him and stifled giggles while taking a picture of him. The camera made a ‘click’ sound as the picture was captured.  
  
“Did you just take a picture of me?” He looked over at me.  
  
“No.” I giggled slightly, turning back towards the window. He rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses before turning back to the road.  


“So what happens when we get to California?” Josh shrugged.  
  
“I’m not sure. I don’t usually think that far. Why?” It was my turn to shrug.  
  
“I don’t know. Just wondering I guess.” He nodded while driving, pulling off onto the exit.  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
“To get gas. We’re starting to get low, and I don’t want to be stranded on the side of the road again.” I nodded shivers running down my back at the memory of what happened last time. I definitely didn’t want that happening again. I wondered if everyone was like that, if Josh was like that and was just acting nice for now. Did he have some other motive to having me here?  
  
“Tyler? You okay?” He asked after stopping the car.  
  
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” I nodded.  
  
“Okay, stay inside. I’ll lock the doors behind me when I go to pay, alright?” He grabbed his wallet from the other cup holder and got out of the cab, locking the truck behind him. I sighed, drumming my fingers on my legs while waiting. I couldn’t open the windows or turn the radio on since he took the keys. I groaned slightly before reaching in the back, pulling my ukulele off the back seat and strumming on it. I started playing while humming along, silently thanking whatever force that controls fate that the windows were closed. I always get self-conscious and nervous playing in front of others. Besides, it couldn’t hurt to practice a little, right? I continued playing, unaware that Josh could hear it through the windows. It was muffled, but still audible. He opened the car right after I finished the last chord in the song, beaming at me.  
  
“Dude that was sick as frick!” I jumped, almost throwing the instrument back.  
  
“W-What was?”  
  
“That! You playing, that was amazing!” He smiled while I blushed.  
  
“Oh. Thanks.” I smiled sheepishly.  
  
“You should play more. It’s wayyy better than what’s on the radio.” My smile grew slightly.  
  
“You really think so?” He started the car and started driving off.  
  
“I know so.” He continued driving while I stared out the window in comfortable silence. I curled up in the chair, pulling my knees to my chest. He turned the radio on after a while and sang along to random songs. After a while we passed the ‘Welcome to Illinois’ sign, which I took a quick picture of. It probably came out blurry, but I couldn’t be sure until I got the film developed. After a few minutes, I fell asleep, curled up in the chair with my head resting against the window. My sleep was light, but restful enough with the movement of the car lulling me into a deeper sleep after a while.  



	4. Chapter 4

“Tyler. Tyyyyler. _Tyyy!_ ” I vaguely heard Josh yelling from my right. Huh. I thought the door was on that side, not Josh.  
  
“Come on, man! I can’t carry you outside.” He murmured before shaking me. I stretched out, almost every joint I had cracking in unison from being curled up for so long.  
  
“Are we stopping for the night?”  
  
“Nah, just stopping to get some snacks. I figured you might wanna help pick some stuff out.” He smiled while I undid the seat belt and followed him inside. He went straight to the coffee while I grabbed a case of red bull before looking through the aisles for snacks. He grabbed a few bags of chips while I grabbed some candy. We put our haul on the counter, where a very disinterested cashier scanned it all before Josh paid for it. I carried the bag and case while he carried his coffee back out to the car. We started on the road again soon after.  


After a while of fiddling with the radio, Josh turned it off. He huffed and murmured something about being in a ‘dead-zone’. I drank my red bull, staring out the window at the setting sun.  
  
“Tyler? You think you could take over driving for a while?” Josh looked over at me, poking my arm to get my attention. I didn’t have experience with driving, just barely enough to get my license. At least I would be getting it now.  
  
“Sure.” I undid the seat belt and slid over while he crawled over, keeping the wheel stable. I situated myself behind the controls while he curled up and started to fall asleep.  


After a few minutes, I had gotten the hang of driving- it wasn’t as hard as everyone I knew back home made it sound like. I continued driving well into the night, confident enough to swerve around potholes to make sure Josh stayed asleep. I ended up doing that a lot, silently cursing under my breath whenever I missed one. After a few hours, Josh woke up.  
  
“I was wrong. You can drive.” I snorted before rolling my eyes.  
  
“I tried to tell you!” He chuckled slightly before sitting up, reaching over and turning the radio on. He fiddled with the knobs before slamming a fist against the off button.  
  
“There’s no radio!”  
  
"Well, yeah. You just slammed your hand against it.” He groaned.  
  
“That’s not what I meant!” He sighed before smiling over at me. I didn’t like that smile, there was something else to it.  
  
“I can drive for a while, if you want.”  
  
“No, I’m good for a while.” He sighed but continued smiling.  
  
“It’s alright, you’ve been driving for a while. Let me drive.”  
  
“Why do you want to drive so badly? Are you possessive over the steering wheel?” I joked, earning a frustrated sigh out of him.  
  
“Sure, if that’s what will let me drive again.” I groaned before sliding over, stabilizing the wheel with my knee like I saw Josh do before.  
  
“Alright, your turn.” He moved over to the driver’s side, still giving me that weird smile. “What?”  
  
“Now you can play, if you want.” He added while I blushed.  
  
“You wanted me to move just so I can play?”  
  
“Well you can’t play a ukulele while keeping both hands on the wheel, can you? Besides we’re out of radio again.” I sighed before grabbing my ukulele.  
  
“Fine…” I started playing anything that came to mind, Josh singing along to some of the covers he knew. I slowly grew more comfortable and started playing songs that I had written. After the second one, Josh stopped me.  
  
“Woah… did you write those?”  
  
“Yeah?” I blushed, expecting him to say they weren’t good. That never came though.  
  
“Those were incredible! You really have a talent, Ty.” He smiled, placing a hand on my thigh. I flinched away slightly, looking at him apologetically. He nodded before placing his hand on my shoulder instead.   
  
“Sorry, I forgot you might still be thinking about that.” I shuddered slightly, understanding what he was referencing to.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll never touch you like that unless you want me too.” I smiled back, placing my hand on top of his. We continued like that while driving in silence. After a while, I slowly found myself taken by sleep for the calming movements of the car. This time I wasn’t curled up against the door with restless naps- I slept peacefully while my head rested on my shoulder, the feeling of Josh’s fingers moving through my hair relaxing me even more.  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weird medical ask time since I don't trust WebMD lol: Is it normal to get light-headed randomly, especially after doing strenuous tasks like washing cars or yard work? It's not even hot outside and this is happening and hasn't before lol. So I'm a little weirded out

After a few hours, I woke up to the gentle sound of tapping coming from Josh’s hand on the steering wheel. My legs were up against the door while my head rested on the bench seat next to Josh’s thigh, his fingers still gently moving through my hair. I smiled contently while lying there, not wanting to move and disturb his movements. I hummed in satisfaction before moving closer.  
  
“You like this?” Josh’s voice broke the silence.  
  
“Yeah. It’s nice.” I smiled, my eyes closed. He hummed happily, continuing to drive with his fingers in my hair. We stayed in a comfortable silence until his phone rang. He huffed before pulling it out of the glove box.  
  
“Hello?” I heard a feminine voice on the other end but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Maybe he had a girlfriend. My heart dropped slightly at the thought.  
  
“Yes mama, the school changed how they want the tuition payed. Uh- huh, that’s what they said.” His mom? I wonder why she was calling about tuition, wasn’t that for if you were in school? Josh dropped out though, he said that.  
  
“Really, mama? You’re the best! Thank you- love you too. Bye mama.” He hung up, beaming at me.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Well Tyler, what do you say about stopping somewhere nice here in Missouri for a day or two?” I blinked in confusion.  
  
“I thought we were in Illinois?”  
  
“We passed into Missouri about an hour after you fell asleep. I got a picture of the sign on you camera for you, though it might be a little blurry.” I smile before squeezing his hand.  
  
“Thanks Josh.” My hand lingered on his while he pulled into the parking lot of a nice hotel.  
  
“You okay with staying here?” I looked up at the building and nodded.  
  
“Yeah. Are you sure we can afford it here though?” He chuckled before nodding.  
  
“We can afford to stay here a day or two, and have plenty left over.” He got out and grabbed his bag out of the backseat. I grabbed my bag and ukulele and followed him. He looked down at my feet while walking.  
  
“Your ankle’s doing a lot better.” I nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I think it was just sprained.”  
  
“I knew that!” He chuckled before muttering something about med school. I opened the door to the lobby and held it open for him. I followed him inside, sitting in the lobby while he checked us in. He came over and handed me one of the key cards.  
  
“Room 207, on the second floor.” I nodded.  
  
“Race you to the elevator!” I started sprinting, stopping in front of a big window that looked out to a pool.  
  
“Josh! They have a pool- we should go swimming!” I looked for him, only to find him smirking as the elevator doors closed. I groaned while violently pressing the button. The doors opened shortly after to show Josh doubled over from laughter.  
  
“Not funny!” I whined before walking in the elevator and pushing the button with a ‘2’ on it.  
  
“Yes it is!” He breathed out between laughs. I pouted.  
  
“We should go swimming though.” He wiped tears from the corners of his eyes.  
  
“Alright, let’s go swimming now then.” He walked up to our room and opened the door, I followed him in, setting my bag down. He took his shirt off and pulled swim trunks out of his bag.  
  
“Uh, Josh?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I don’t have any swim trunks.” He smiled.  
  
“I have another pair, if you want.” I nodded, going over to his bag where he pulled them out.  
  
“Thanks.” I went into the bathroom and changed into them, keeping my shirt on. They fit loosely at my hips, but not loose enough to fall off.  
  
“You ready?” He knocked on the door.  
  
“Yeah.” I opened the door and followed him down to the pool. He started running and cannonballed into the center of the pool.  
  
“You coming in? You didn’t even take your shirt off.” He swam over to where I sat on the edge, dangling my feet into the water. I blushed from embarrassment.  
  
“Oh- I just… I don’t know.” I looked down at my shirt and sighed. Josh placed his hands on the hem, gently pulling up.  
  
“I won’t judge you, you know. Besides, I’m sure you’ve got nothing to be ashamed about under there.” He averted his gaze while I blushed harder. Did he just call me good-looking? He moved closer and gently pulled the shirt over my head and off.  
  
“Come on Ty!” He giggled, pulling my hand until I slipped into the water. I smiled and followed him to the center. He splashed me, smiling so much his eyes crinkled. I giggled and splashed him back. We continued until he disappeared, just when I thought I was winning.  
  
“Josh?” I started moving around looking for him. After a second I felt something grab on my leg and pulled me under. I panicked and kicked at whatever it was until it let go of my leg. I swam away to see Josh laughing while grabbing at his nose.  
  
“You kicked me in the face!” I blushed.  
  
“I’m sorry! Are you okay?” I swam over to him and looked at his nose. He nodded keeping his head back.  
  
“Yeah, it’s just bleeding a little.” He answered nasally from pinching it, causing me to blush harder.  
  
“I’m so sorry!” I went over and grabbed a towel. “Here, you can stop the bleeding with this.” He sat beside me on the edge, keeping his nose in the towel.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do to help after causing it.” He chuckled.  
  
“Nah, it’s my fault. I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that. I was expecting a different reaction.” I smiled, wiping blood that somehow got on his cheekbone off. His eyes met mine for a moment, still crinkled in the corners from smiling.  
  
“Come on, let’s go change.” He got up and handed me a towel. I dried off my upper body completely before pulling my shirt back on and walking back with him to the hotel room. I felt his gaze on me as I walked ahead. I blushed, trying to pretend I didn’t notice while pulling my key out and opening the door.  
  
“I call first shower!” I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom, putting my wet clothes in a pile in the corner before getting in the shower. I changed into some clean clothes after finishing, sounds from the other room becoming clearer with the shower off. They sounded like Josh-Josh _moaning._ I blushed trying to ignore it, but listening to it still. The sounds went straight to my now-hard cock, causing me to groan in annoyance. I just took a shower, so I wasn't going to take another one just to solve the problem. I thought of the grossest things possible, eventually able to will it away. I waited in the bathroom until I heard the sounds stop, pretending I didn’t hear them when I left the bathroom.  
  
“Your turn.” I put my stuff down on a desk before sitting in the bed and turning the TV on to a movie. I continued watching absently, feeling the bed dip besides me during the middle. Josh moved closer, his t-shirt and hair still damp.  
  
“You didn’t dry off all the way!” I whined.  
  
“So?” He looked up at me confused.  
  
“But now your shirt’s all wet, and the bed’s gonna get wet too!” I complained, causing him to laugh.  
  
“You really have a problem with people not drying off all the way after they shower?”  
  
“Yeah!” I pouted.  
  
“Well then, I guess you have a problem with me.” He moved closer, resting his head on my shoulder.  
  
“Josh! Now you’re getting me all wet!” He chuckled.  
  
“You’re not moving away though. You would’ve moved away if you really didn’t like it.” I whined, but didn’t move Even if he was getting me wet with his hair, I didn’t mind. I was comfortable with him next to me. I shifted so my head was in his lap, staring up at him while he watched. His hand instinctively went into my hair, his fingers moving through my hair. I pulled his hand away before holding onto it smiling. I saw a smile spread across his lips while he squeezed my hand gently, his thumb drawing random shapes across the back of my hand. I smiled, watching what was on the TV absently, his other hand stroking my hair. I looked at his hair, the curly strands pink color now faded.  
  
“We should dye your hair.” He smiled at the suggestion.  
  
“Okay, tomorrow. What color?” I sat there for a moment, thinking about what color would suit him best.  
  
“Red. Bright red.” He chuckled before checking the time on his phone.  
  
“Okay, tomorrow we’ll get red dye. But for right now, we should go to bed. It’s 12:30.” I nodded before sliding over to the side, turning the lamp off.  
  
“Night, Josh.” I said tiredly, sounding more like ‘Jish’.  
  
“Night, Ty.” I heard him reply before I fell asleep.  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone know good ways of convincing your parents to let you go to something? Cause I NEED to go to this year's Warped Tour!

  
The next morning, I woke up early, smiling when I felt warmth at my side. I looked over to see Josh fast asleep, his mouth hanging open while he snored softly. I stifled my giggling while twirling one of his curls around my index finger, admiring the color one last time before we changed it today. I took the chance I had to admire him more without worrying about him catching me staring. His hair curled in every direction, looking especially tousled now after he slept on it, with the sides shaved. He had a tattoo on his arm that had a tree in it with a lot of swirling colors around it. I found myself staring at it for a long time, tracing some of the lines in it with my finger. What did it mean for him? Was it special, or just a spur-of-the-moment thing? I stopped when I heard him hum in satisfaction before moving closer, his breaths now tickling my neck. I smiled and continued absently, humming softly. I didn’t notice him wake up until he chuckled.  
  
“You like it?” I stopped, blushing slightly.  
  
“Yeah. It looks cool.” He smiled before sliding away and sitting up.  
  
“Thanks.” I sat up after him and stretched out, my back cracking.  
  
“You still up for dying my hair today?” He smiled over at me while I nodded. “Well then we should go to the store and get some dye.” He got up and grabbed his bag before going to the bathroom and changing while. I went in after him to change, putting my shoes on when I finished.  
  
“Ready?” He nodded before grabbing his phone and wallet.  
  
“I think I saw a Walmart on the way here.”  
  
“Okay.” We got in the truck before driving over to the store.  


“Which color do you think? Josh asked, holding up two boxes of red dye. Both of them were too dark for what I was thinking, so I shook my head. I scanned the shelves, my eyes lighting up when I saw a box of firetruck red dye.  
  
“This one.” He looked at the box before looking at me a little unsure.  
  
“That one?” I nodded before handing it to him.  
  
“That one.” He shrugged before grabbing it and putting it in the box.  
  
“Alright, let’s go get some shirts we can mess up now.” After grabbing a few gray t-shirts and plastic bowls, we checked out and left for the hotel.  


When we got back, I changed into the gray shirt while Josh went in the bathroom and prepared the dye before changing into his.  
  
“Now- just coat my hair in the dye.” I looked at him quizzically.  
  
“That’s it?”  
  
“That’s it. Like you’re putting conditioner in, but it has to cover every strand.” I nodded before slipping on a pair of plastic gloves and dabbing the dye on my fingers before rubbing it in his hair. He flinched back, yelping slightly.  
  
“What was that?!” I giggled.  
  
“It’s cold…” He whined.  
  
“Sorry.” I continued applying the dye being wary of getting any of it on his skin again.  
  
“All good?” He asked after a few minutes.  
  
“Almost…” I continued until I was sure every strand was thoroughly covered. “Now I’m done.” He laughed.  
  
“Good.”  
  
“Now what?”  
  
“We wait an hour and then I wash it out.” I nodded.  
  
“So what do we do for an hour?” He shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know.” He looked over at my ukulele.  
  
“Play for me?” I rolled my eyes while chuckling before grabbing the small instrument.  
  
“You’re lucky I like you, or else I’d never play around you.” He giggled while listening to me play. I played for a long time, going past an hour. I loved playing for Josh- his eyes would always look so dreamy while I played, a smile constantly on his lips. As I finished a song, he looked over at his phone.  
  
“Oh- We have to wash out the dye now!” I smiled excitedly before leaving the bathroom so he could shower. He came out a few minutes later, drying his hair off in a towel and keeping it covered. Once he decided it was thoroughly dry, he smiled over at me.  
  
“Ready for the big reveal?” I nodded eagerly. “Drumroll please!” I giggled while slamming my hands against the bed quickly while he pulled the towel off, his fluffy hair bright red.  
  
“That looks so cool!” I immediately commented. It looked so much better than I could’ve imagined- he looked _great_ with red hair. Not that he didn’t look great before, he always looks great. I ignored my racing thoughts while he looked in the mirror.  
  
“That came out way better than I thought! From now on, you’re in charge of what colors I dye my hair.” He smiled at me. I smiled back, sitting down on the bed. He sat down beside me, wrapping his arm around my figure I looked at his arm, my gaze fixed on his tattoo again.  
  
“Is there some story behind your tattoo?” He nodded.  
  
“Other than the one behind the art, there’s the one about how my mom reacted to it.” He chuckled. I nodded, understanding he might be more comfortable telling that one.  
  
“I was only 17 when I first got it, so I should’ve gotten my mom’s permission- but I didn’t.” He chuckled.  
  
“And when she found out, she was soo mad! She yelled for such a long time about how I was ‘ruining my chances for a successful life’,” He mimicked with air quotations, earning a giggle out of me.  
  
“She’s also one of the main reasons why I went to med school- she wanted me to become a laser surgeon so I could remove it. I tried to tell her it didn’t work that way, but she wouldn’t listen.” His smile faded slightly, sadness filling his features.  
  
“Sometimes I miss her still, and the rest of my family.” I shifted closer, grabbing onto his hand. He smiled sadly, squeezing my hand. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I let the silence envelope us. I leaned against his side, staring up at his face. My gaze lingered on his lips, their rosy pink color looking so inviting. They looked so soft, I wondered how they would feel against mine. I continued to stare at Josh while he obliviously watched the TV. I smiled before bringing his hand up my face and pressing my lips against it. He smiled at the gesture, moving closer to me, tangling our legs together. I rested my head on his chest and smile, my eyes eventually fluttering shut.  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short, but it's super crucial to the story so it's staying the way it is!

I woke up later, the TV still on while Josh snored softly, his fingers laced with mine. I giggled slightly before reaching over him and turning the TV and lamp off before lying down in bed, his body pulled down towards me by our connected hands. I smiled, gazing at him again. I noticed, but never realized until now how beautiful he was. He was _gorgeous_ , from his stunning smile, to his warm hazel eyes, to his plush lips. His mouth hung open while he slept, drool trailing down his cheek. I smiled before wrapping my arms around him and closing my eyes, trying to sleep again. The sound of rain from outside grew loud enough for me to notice, causing my smile to grow. I sighed contently, not wanting to be anywhere else. I looked over at Josh and smiled, his lips pressed together with the bottom one pouting out ever so slightly, in the cutest way possible. I was so caught up staring that I didn’t notice that he was awake.  
  
“Are you gonna keep staring or kiss me? Or do I have to make the first move?” He croaked out in morning voice, causing me to blush while looking away.  
  
“I-I… I wasn’t staring.” My voice cracked slightly, causing me to blush harder while he smirked.  
  
“Third option it is then.” He leaned closer and pressed his lips to mine slowly moving closer until he was on top of me. I started kissing back quickly, our movements feverish.  
  
“You shouldn’t lie, Tyler.” His voice deepened as he spoke against my lips before moving closer, pulling my shirt.  
  
“I know you stare at me. And you know what? I stare at you too. All the time.” He answered quickly while pulling on the waistband to my boxers. I gently grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from there, lacing our fingers together. He pouted slightly, but smiled when he pulled away.  
  
“Slowly does it then?” I nodded.  
  
“Slowly.” He pecked my cheek before resting his head on my shoulder.  
  
“We should probably get ready to go.” I groaned slightly.  
  
“But it’s raining! We can’t enjoy the rain while driving.” I pouted, his gaze turning sympathetic.  
  
“Alright, we’ll stay one more day.”  
  
“Yay! Thanks Jish!” I pecked his lips, snuggling into him.  
  
“You’re welcome.” He giggled, rolling his eyes before wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into him, my head resting against his chest. He smiled, running his fingers through my hair. I hummed happily before closing my eyes, relaxing even more and melting into his touch.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I heard "I got bones" by Danny Worsnop today cause I like Asking Alexandria and I was like "Oh cool! He's made new music since leaving the band, I bet it's cool!" It wasn't what I was expecting. It's not bad though, but my opinion on that probably isn't the best since I don't really listen to country music lmao. But I mean more power, you go bro. DO YOUR THING!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So both of today's chapters are really short and crappy cause I'm starting to get writer's block. I should have better tomorrow though if I can get out of this slump. So keep hope for there will be better coming I promise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else listen to Cute Is What We Aim for? I feel like I'm one of the only ones at this point lol. Mostly just their first album, they're pretty rad though. I love Newport Living, There's A Class For This, and The Curse Of Curves in case anyone wanted to know lol

The next day, we loaded our things into the truck before checking out and starting our drive again. Josh decided to drive first, leaving me in my usual spot in the passenger seat. Except this time we were closer, my hand around his. We sang out of tune together to anything on what radio we could get, driving the entire day. We made it into Oklahoma by the end of the day, and Josh made sure to slow down enough for me to get a good picture of the ‘Welcome to Oklahoma’ sign. I felt myself tanning under the heat of the sun. We switched off later, continuing our drive into the night. After a while, I felt myself nodding off, nothing I was doing before helping to fight the sleepiness anymore. I pulled off to a find somewhere to park for the night while Josh and I slept. I didn’t want to wake him so much that I didn’t bother looking for a motel. I pulled into an empty field before parking and curling up against Josh, my head resting kinda awkwardly but comfortably on his chest. I laced our hands together before eventually falling asleep.  


I woke up the next morning lying down, my head in Josh’s lap. I looked up to see him smiling at me, his hand over mine.  
  
“When did you stop last night? You could’ve woken me up and I’d drive for a while.” I blushed slightly.  
  
“I didn’t wanna wake you. You’re too cute when you sleep.” I smiled when he blushed, sitting up beside him.  
  
“Okay, but in that case I get to drive today.” I pouted, but slid over.  
  
“Fine…” He pecked my cheek before moving over behind the wheel.  
  
“Thanks babe.” I turned crimson at the pet name, but I definitely wasn’t protesting it. It was cute.  
  
“Y-You’re welcome.” He chuckled while starting the car, driving back on the road and into Texas. I took a lot of pictures of the road on the way there, some of the weird looking animals that wandered around the deserts we drove through, but mostly of Josh. There were so many animals I’d never seen before, and Josh knew the names of almost all of them whenever I asked.  
  
“And that one?” I pointed to what looked kinda like a cross of a big rat and a turtle.  
  
“It’s an Armadillo. They roll up into little balls when they get scared, it’s kinda funny. Watch this!” He honked the horn just as we passed a group of them, watching them all roll up in little balls and roll off behind a cactus. I giggled while he laughed along. I smiled at him while he drove. After sitting for such a long time, I slowly fell asleep curled up beside Josh, the sun sinking for the day.  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I almost forgot to update today I'm so sorry I found this really good story and I was reading it and it's not done yet and I cried a little (or a lot depends on what part I cried at you're referring to) and it's called In Darkness, You'll Be My Rock by PastelMess and no I wasn't paid to advertise I generally like that story a crapton. So yeah, here's an update now for this story!

“Hey, Tyler. Wake up.” Josh’s gentle voice called out to me while shaking my leg, waking me up. I rubbed my eyes sleepily while sitting up, my neck hurting. I gasped softly before moving it in a position that didn’t hurt as bad.  
  
“We’re gonna stop here for the night, okay?” Josh pointed out towards the motel we were parked in. I nodded carefully before grabbing my bag and following him inside.  
  
“You okay? Your neck seems kinda… off.” Josh commented while opening the door.  
  
“Yeah, just a little sore from sleeping in the truck so much.” I chuckled slightly before setting my bag down. Josh looked over at me with a gleam in his eyes, the one he always gets when he has an idea.  
  
“Lay down on the bed. I know just how to fix that.” I raised my eyebrow, but complied. “On your stomach, silly! I’m gonna take your shirt off, is that okay?” I nodded slightly, grunting when he sat on top of my legs, pulling my shirt off. “If this hurts, just tell me to stop okay? Now lay down completely flat, including your neck.”  
  
“My neck, why- ah!” I was cut off when he pressed my head gently against the bed, flattening my spine entirely. He started rubbing my back gently, applying more pressure at where my neck and spine connected. I moaned into the mattress as he continued, starting to use more force.  
  
“T-This feels-s r-real-lly go-od.” My voice vibrated while he continued, giggling.  
  
“I’m glad you like it.” He rubbed closer to my neck before getting up. “All done.” I sat up beside him and stretched, smiling.  
  
“Thanks Joshie. I feel all better now!” I pecked his lips before pulling my shirt back on.  
  
“You’re welcome, baby.” He giggled when I blushed slightly, walking in the bathroom while muttering something about ‘never gets old.’ I turned on the TV while changing into my pajamas, lying in bed by the time he got out of the bathroom. He laid down beside me, resting his head on my chest.  
  
“You’re all wet!” I moved away, whining. He giggled.  
  
“Well, I did take a shower. So I should think I’d be wet.”  
  
“But you could’ve dried off all the way!” He moved closer again, pouting when I moved away.  
  
“You’re gonna get me all wet!” I giggled and continued moving away each time he moved close, until he pinned me down on the bed.  
  
“Got you.” He smirked, his hair wet from both water and sweat, his skin shining from a thin layer of sweat too. My face flushed as I tried to wriggle away, but couldn’t escape his grasp. He giggled.  
  
“I’ll let you go- if you pay my price.” He moved closer drops of water from his hair landing on my forehead.  
  
“W-What price would that b-be?” I swallowed hard.  
  
“A kiss.” I giggled.  
  
“You’re such a sap.” I leaned up and pecked his lips, staying when he held me there, our innocent kiss heating up quickly. I moaned into his lips, the sound greedily swallowed by him. His hands slid down my hips, reaching the hem of my shirt and pulling it up and off. I broke away and smiled, yawning slightly after. He giggled before kissing my cheek.  
  
“Time for bed, baby.” He turned the lamp off before snuggling up to me.  
  
“You’re still wet…” I whispered, hearing him giggle before falling asleep.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted an excuse to write a scene with Tyler getting a massage so yeah. Sorry if it sucks a little


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're triggered by panic attacks or mentions of abuse, not straightforward mentions but like implied (?), then please don't read this chapter. All that happens other than that bit is they decide to stay in that city for another day. I think it's Dallas or Houston but I don't know I'm bad with maps/ travelling so we'll just guesstimate Dallas lol

I woke up early the next morning to the sound of ragged breathing. I looked over and saw Josh curled in a ball breathing too quickly to get enough air.  
  
“Josh. Wake up, ‘s okay.” I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing his back reassuringly. He moved closer into my chest, murmuring very distressed. “Josh.” I started shaking him gently, trying to get him to wake up.  
  
“T-Ty?” He weakly spoke, wiping tears from his eyes that hadn’t landed on me.  
  
“Shh. It’s okay, it was just a dream.” I held him for a while, the silence very thick. “Do you want to talk about it? It might help. He shook slightly but started speaking.  
  
“M-My dad was there and he- he was doing bad things. It hurt Ty, it hurt so badly!” He started sobbing while I held him, rubbing circles in his back.  
  
“He’s not here now, you’re okay. I’ll keep you safe, Joshie.” I pecked his nose, a weak smile coming back to him.  
  
“T-Thanks, Ty.” I looked over at the rising sun and smiled.  
  
“Maybe we should have a look around the area for the day, instead of driving.” He giggled slightly.  
  
“So do all of the tourist stuff?” I shrugged.  
  
“Sure. It’d be a nice relaxing day out.” I wiped the tears from his eyes, that smile I love so much returning.  
  
“Okay.” He whispered before curling into me.   
  
“Get some sleep, baby.” I kissed his forehead while he snuggled with me, his calmer breathing soon evening out to soft snores.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've still got a little bit of writer's block I'm getting over, so be patient with me please! I promise I should have better soon I have lots more ideas for this one


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I was listening to Vegas Lights by Panic! At The Disco and got inspired lol. Also cause I really like aquariums even though I'd probably never go swimming in the ocean

“Come on, Josh! They have a huge tank over here!” We decided on going to the aquarium here- well I did mostly, but we were both having fun. I ran into the tropical exhibit, looking at all the colorful fish. My eyes were filled with wonder the whole time I looked at each one, their colorful scales reflecting the light that came in and left the tank a bluish tint.  
  
“Ooh, I like this one Ty.” Josh pointed at a white and red striped one with spikes coming out of it.  
  
“Says here it’s a lion fish, and it’s deadly.”  
  
“Well it looks cool. Which one’s your favorite?” I pointed towards a blue one with yellow fins.  
  
“That one, it looks like Dory.” He giggled slightly while we walked towards the next tank, which was a lot larger. “Look Josh- they have an octopus!” I ran over to another tank and pressed my face to the glass. He chuckled from by the other tank.  
  
“I ate one of those one time, at a sushi restaurant.  
  
“And how was it?”  
  
“It was pretty good.” He shrugged, walking over and wrapping his arms around me. We walked over to the largest tank in the room, filled with sharks and a speaker nearby. We listened to her presentation about the sharks, the last phrase catching Josh’s attention.  
  
“And for the next hour, we’ll be taking volunteers to swim with the magnificent creatures with some of our trained divers!” Josh’s eyes widened before poking my side.  
  
“We should totally do that, it’ll be fun!” He got up and practically ran to the front while I walked over a little hesitantly.  
  
“Are you sure it’s safe?”  
  
“Absolutely! They’re completely harmless, and if anything were to happen you’ll be with our trained divers who know these sharks like their children.” The cheery girl smiled. I looked at Josh, his eyes wide and pleading.  
  
“Alright, we’ll do it.”  
  
“Yes!” He tackled me in a quick hug before we followed her back.  


“Ready?” I nodded nervously, feeling way too uncomfortable in the wetsuit and weighed down by the air tank.  
  
“Ready.” We followed the others into the tank, his hand in mine for reassurance. We swam around the sharks for a while, following the group while the divers talked about the shark’s behaviors and whatnot. After a while I calmed down enough to really enjoy it, and not tense up every time a shark swam in front of us.  
  
“You can touch it, you know.” Josh giggled when one came right up to me. I smiled and stroked its dorsal fin, holding on to it gently as it swam away. Josh was pulled along by our connected hands as I held onto the swimming shark. I giggled and let go after the shark slowed down so our momentum wouldn’t fling us into the glass. I looked over to see the group leaving, swimming quickly with Josh to catch up.  
  
“Come on Josh, they’re leaving without us.” He groaned but followed anyways, surfacing first. He helped pull me out, smiling brightly at me.  
  
"Didn't I tell you that would be sick?" I chuckled  
  
"Yep, you sure did."  
  
"Come on, let's go see some other stuff here." He smiled while handing me my clothes back before walking to the changing rooms. I followed him, going into the room beside his. After changing into our regular clothes we continued our day in the aquarium looking at other fish and doing all of the little activities along the way. One of my favorites was the touch pool, mostly because of Josh's reaction when he picked up a starfish. His eyes widened in surprise, his grip on it very awkward.  
  
"It feels... funny." I giggled.  
  
"'Funny' how?"  
  
"It's just so weird! It's not smooth on the flat side, and the other one feels like a rock!  
  
"That's how they're able to withstand a lot of damage, sir." The girl working there said. "If you _really_ want to see something cool about these little guys pick this one up." She pointed to another one that I grabbed and held up for Josh too see.  
  
"It's got a baby leg!" He giggled  
  
"Yeah! This one's leg was damaged in a tide pool when we found it, and since then it's been growing it back slowly. It's called regeneration, and all of their limbs do it." She beamed as I passed the starfish to Josh, who handed it back to her.  
  
"That's pretty neat. What happens to the leg that got broken off though?"  
  
"In some cases they grow new bodies, but in others it gets left somewhere to benefit another organism in the ecosystem."  
  
"That's sick!" Josh smiled, moving down towards other exhibits. I followed him, headed straight for the kid's area. I slipped my shoes off as I ran up to a playground.  
  
"Come on Josh!" He chuckled and sat down nearby.  
  
"I think you're a little too old for that, Ty. Besides, you're gonna scare the children away." I pouted  
  
"There aren't any here. Come on, please? If you got me to swim with sharks, I can get you to do this." He groaned while slipping his shoes off.  
  
"Fine. But only for 10 minutes." I smiled, going down a slide as he walked up to me.  
  
"Yay!"  


Needless to say 10 minutes wasn't the amount of time spent on there. We spent about an hour on the playground, the last hour we were there before closing. We were both reluctant to leave, but slipped our shoes on before walking out of the aquarium to find something else to do.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know that much about starfish I used info from an episode of spongebob so it's probably wrong lol. Feel free to correct me if you want!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're not comfortable reading smut or stuff like that, please feel free to skip this chapter! The only plot- relevant thing that happens is in the end of it they start driving again. Enjoy my bad attempt at smut guys!

“That was really fun.” I smiled as we left the aquarium, headed towards an ice cream shop down the street.  
  
“I told you!” He giggled, resting his arm around my shoulders. I smiled and rolled my eyes.  
  
“Yeah, I know.” He opened the door for me while we walked up to the counter to order. I ordered a soft serve cone, while he got a bowl of strawberry ice cream. We sat down at one of the booths and started eating. I felt his gaze on me as I licked the scoop of ice cream, but didn’t say anything about it. I was too distracted. I looked over at him and giggled, his eyes wide and cheeks flushed.  
  
“Something wrong, Joshie?” I smiled innocently, placing my foot gently on his thigh, cause his cheeks to turn redder.  
  
“N-No. Everything’s fine.” He smiled weakly, taking a large spoonful of his half-melted ice cream and eating it. I continued eating mine, my eyes locked with his. When we finished and left for the car, I felt his eyes following me.  
  
“So back to the motel then? I can drive.” He nodded before getting in the passenger side. Before I could start the car, his lips were on mine, moving quickly. I moaned softly, his mouth greedily swallowing the sound. He licked my bottom lip right as I parted my lips, his tongue sliding into the gap. He straddled me, rolling his hips into mine.  
  
“Mm- Tyler…” He purred while pulling off my shirt. I pulled at the hem of his before slipping it over his head and tossing it into the backseat. He situated himself on top of me before biting down on the crook of my neck, leaving a dark mark in his wake. He smirked before continuing down. He looked down with dark eyes at me before grabbing his shirt and sitting in the driver’s seat, leaving me hot and breathless.  
  
“Josh!” I whined before sitting up. “You can’t just leave someone hanging like that!” He giggled when I pouted.  
  
“I can if I’m driving back to the motel. Trust me, Ty… I’m not finished yet.” He smirked with lustful eyes before driving back while I pulled my shirt on. When we got to the motel, we practically ran back into our room, our lips joining the moment the door closed. I pushed him into the door. He pressed his knee against my groin, moving it with our pace, the friction driving me mad.  
  
“Fuck- Josh!” I moaned and he continued, his movements becoming quicker and sloppier. He unbuttoned my pants before sliding them off onto the floor.  
  
“Someone’s needy.” He smirked before picking me up and carrying me over to the bed, leaving more marks down my neck and chest while I shakily got his pants and boxers off in one movement.  
  
“W-Well if you didn’t- _tease,_ ” My voice cracked in between moans while he continued, moving down to my boxers. He pulled at the waistband hesitantly before I pulled them off.  
  
“Hmm. When you put it like that…” He smirked before getting on top of me, spreading my legs apart. The sudden cold didn’t help with the shivers he was giving me. The thought of him on top of me made me harder.  
  
“Josh?”  
  
“Yeah, Ty?”  
  
“This is well- I’ve never really…” My voice trailed after.  
  
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” I nodded weakly. “Don’t worry. It’ll be alright.” He said reassuringly, continuing what he was doing before. I whimpered when he slipped a finger into my entrance.  
  
“God Ty, you’re so tight…” He moved his finger around before putting another in. I gasped loudly.  
  
“J-Josh! It hurts.” He smirked before moving in further.  
  
“Well I need to prep you.” He moved in a little further, hitting something that made me see stars.  
  
“JOSH!” I screamed, completely dazed.  
  
“Did I hurt you?” Worry filled his voice slightly. I felt empty when he moved his fingers out.  
  
“Y-Yeah- no. I-I…”   
  
“Oh. I get what happened.” He smirked before pulling a condom out of his bag and slipping it on. He rammed himself into me full force.  
  
“F-fuck!” I groaned, not used to the feeling of him in me yet. After a few moments, the best feeling I’ve ever felt overcame whatever pain was there before.  
  
“J-Josh….”  
  
“Yes?” Lust still dripped from his voice.  
  
“Move, or just do someth-ING!” I gasped when he started thrusting into me, coming undone. He thrusted further in, hitting the same spot as before. I screamed loudly. He smirked and continued, hitting the same spot over and over again, each time making me scream louder.  
  
“I’m getting close…” I said weakly, my voice hoarse now.  
  
“Not yet.” He moved closer, his cock brushing against that spot.  
  
“Josh.” I warned.  
  
“I said not yet.” His voice was deeper when he whispered in my ear, giving me chills and making me even closer. He smirked.  
  
“You like that don’t you? _Don’t you, baby boy_?” He purred. I nodded, whimpering as he kept brushing against there while slowly thrusting. I was so close it hurt now. He smirked.  
  
“You like it when I tell you what to do, when I get on top of you like this?” Another nod, followed by a yelp when he smacked my ass.  
  
“I bet you like that too.” I nodded, not denying the tingling feeling left behind.  
  
“You’re real close now, aren’t you?”   
  
“M-Mm- hmm. Yeah.” He moved so far he almost pulled out.  
  
“My beautiful baby’s first time…” He hummed happily before slamming into me. I started coming on the bed and my stomach, unable to hold it in anymore. He moaned loudly, coming inside me before pulling out. I rolled onto my back, panting.  
  
“Wow…” I said breathlessly. He giggled before kissing my cheek.  
  
“Told you you had nothing to worry about.” He grabbed our clothes from off the floor and put them on the bed before changing. “Come on, let’s get ready to go.” I groaned.  
  
“I wanna sleep!” I yawned slightly, pulling my clothes on.  
  
“You can do that in the car. I wanna get out of here before anyone starts knocking.” Both of our faces flushed before moving quicker as we packed. After a few checks, we headed out to the truck and drove off. I fell asleep almost immediately after getting in the truck, my hand clasped with Josh’s.  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took a few days off! Right when I thought it was going away, my writer's block totally whooped my ass... hopefully this is good it took a day or two to write!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my love for Live And Unplugged by Sleeping With Sirens cause OHMYGOSH THAT ALBUM!!! It's hecka good! Even if you're not a big fan of them cause they might be "too heavy" for you, I'd give it a listen. It's super mellow and acoustic-y. But you don't have to lol. Just a reccomendation

“Hey, sleepyhead. You hungry?” I smiled while Josh shook me awake gently.  
  
“Mhm.” I sat up and stretched before opening my eyes, squinting from the brightness. He giggled slightly before going in the glovebox and pulling out a pair of sunglasses.  
  
“Want these?” I nodded sleepily, slipping them on before popping the door open and following him into the diner we stopped at. He chuckled before guiding me towards the table while I sleepily wandered after him. I sat across from him, pulling the sunglasses off and setting them on the table.  
  
“Sleep well?”  
  
“Yeah. About as good as you can sleep in a car I guess.” I chuckled slightly looking at the menu. He reached across the table and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. Shortly after a waitress took our order, 2 coffees, blueberry pancakes, eggs, and a side of bacon, and brought our meals out a while after that. Once we finished, we were back out on the road again. Josh continued driving while I lazily strummed on my ukulele, trying to distract myself from the heat.  
  
“It’s really hot out today.” Josh attempted at conversation.  
  
“Yeah, I can feel myself tanning.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“At least you tan. I just get burnt.” I laughed slightly, earning a playful smack and an eye roll.  
  
“Not all of us have perfect skin that tans under the sun.” He pouted.  
  
“Aw, is someone sad? I know how to cheer you up!” I giggled before strumming quickly on my ukulele, playing random music. He giggled along and started tapping a beat on the steering wheel. I smiled and continued, starting to sing.  
  
_“We don't believe what's on TV,_  
  
_Because it's what we want to see,_  
  
_And what we want, we know we can't believe,_  
  
_We have all learned to kill our dreams._  
  
  
_I need to know that when I fail you'll still be here,_  
  
_'Cause if you stick around I'll sing you pretty sounds,_  
  
_And we'll make money selling your hair._  
  
  
_I don't care what's in your hair,_  
  
_I just wanna know what's on your mind,_  
  
_I used to say, "I wanna die before I'm old,"_  
  
_But because of you I might think twice._  
  
  
_Yeah, yeah, yeah!_  
  
_Yeah, yeah, yeah!_  
  
  
_Alright. Second verse._  
  
  
_What if my dream does not happen?_  
  
_Would I just change what I've told my friends?_  
  
_Don't wanna know who I would be,_  
  
_When I wake up from a dreamer's sleep._  
  
  
_I need to know that when I fail you'll still be here,_  
  
_'Cause if you stick around I'll sing you pretty sounds,_  
  
_And we'll make money selling your hair._  
  
  
_But I don't care what's in your hair,_  
  
_I just wanna know what's on your mind,_  
  
I used to say, "I wanna die before I'm old,"  
  
_But because of you I might think twice._  
  
  
_I don't care what's in your hair,_  
  
_I just wanna know what's on your mind,_  
  
_I used to say, "I wanna die before I'm old,"_  
  
_But because of you I might think twice._  
  
  
_Yeah, yeah, yeah!"_  
  
I smiled slightly when I finished, blushing when he started clapping.  
  
“That was so amazing!” I blushed harder, pulling my ukulele in front of my face.  
  
“It wasn’t that good. I just came up with it on the spot, it can’t be that good.”  
  
“You just came up with that right now?”  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
“Then that makes it even better! Tyler, you’re so talented. It’s incredible!” I blushed even harder.  
  
“Do you play any instruments?” I weakly tried to change the subject, thankful that Josh went with it.  
  
“I play drums and trumpet. But I haven’t done either in such a long time, I’ve probably forgotten.”  
  
“I’m sure you still know. Playing something is like riding a bike, you never really forget. Muscle memory, or something like that.” He shrugged.  
  
“I guess. It’d be kinda cool to sit behind a drum set again, it’s been a few years since I have.” I smiled.  
  
“I’d love to hear you play, I bet you’re wonderful.”  
  
“Maybe. I doubt I’m as good as you though.” I snorted.  
  
“Yeah, cause you’ll be better.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“You know what I meant.”  


The rest of the day was filled with comfortable silence, whenever the radio wasn’t on, and the sweltering heat as we drove through the desert.  
  
“Is California this hot?!” I groaned.  
  
“I’m not sure. Depends what part I guess. Some areas have beaches, and others are in the forest.” Josh chuckled before turning the A/C on even higher.  
  
“That sounds cool. Literally, they’re both way cooler than the desert.” I huffed. “It’s just way too hot here, how does anyone live here?” He shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know, but it’s definitely unbearable. At least the sun is going down now, so it’ll get cooler.” I nodded in agreement, yawning slightly. I curled up against the seat, closing my eyes. The car jerked to a stop.  
  
“What was that?” I groaned. Josh giggled.  
  
“We’re in New Mexico now, so I thought you might want a picture of the sign.”  
  
“But isn’t it too dark to see it?”  
  
“They have a light on it, dummy.” I rolled my eyes and pulled my camera out. I took a quick picture of it before kissing his cheek.  
  
“Thanks, Jish.” He giggled.  
  
“’Jish’?” I shrugged.  
  
“I thought it was cute, like how you call me ‘Ty’.”  
“Alright then, ‘Jish’ it is.” I smiled, leaning into him.  


After what must’ve been a few hours, I woke up when Josh shook my leg.  
  
“Hey Ty, wake up. I’ve got a surprise for you.” I groaned while sitting up.  
  
“Does it involve sleeping more?” He giggled.  
  
“It kinda does. Come on.” I stared up at him for a few seconds, our eyes locking.  
  
“I don’t wanna get up.” He groaned slightly.  
  
“I don’t know if I can carry you, baby.” He smirked slightly when my blush came back, ‘the heat’ my mind blamed it on.  
  
“Please?” He sighed before wrapping one arm around my shoulder and the other under my legs.  
  
“You owe me big time, Tyler.” He picked me up and carried me over to the back of the truck. We were parked in an empty field, the night clearly lit with the moon and stars. My gaze was immediately fixed on how beautiful the sky is. He set me down in the bed of the truck, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders.  
  
“It’s really pretty out.” He leaned into me.  
  
“I thought you might like it. They always say the sky is clearer in the desert, so I thought we’d see if they were right.” I kissed pecked his lips.  
  
“Thank you.” He smiled and grabbed my hand.  
  
“Anything for you, beautiful.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I went to walmart and got glared at by some guy who looked like Santa Claus


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hoo- ha guess who's finally over writer's block! Yay I'm SO GLAD that's done with!!! Like, you have no idea I hate when that happens. But I just needed a little break, which I used to work on like 3 weeks worth of AP notes I've been putting off, and now I've got so much written!! I'm excited to see how this goes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately this chapter is short like the others have been cause I'm still getting back into it, but better chapters and more regular updating (like 2 a day again) should be happening by the next two days so yay lol. Hope you guys like it :)

After rambling on forever about different constellations while Josh listened, we had fallen asleep, sharing the blanket that was wrapped around me before. I woke late up the next morning, staring up at Josh. He must’ve woken up before me, because he was running his fingers through my hair.  
  
“You really like my hair, don’t you?” I chuckled when he jumped back slightly.  
  
“It’s really soft. I didn’t know you were awake.” He blushed slightly. I yawned while sitting up.  
  
“I just woke up a few minutes ago.”  
  
“Oh.” He sat up beside me, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek before folding up the blankets. I went into the truck and started it, turning on the A/C immediately to prepare for another hot day before driving off when Josh got in on the passenger side pouting.  
  
“I wanted to drive.”  
  
“You drove yesterday! _And_ the day before!” I rolled my eyes behind his sunglasses (that I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep at this point. They’re really nice!) while he giggled.  
  
“Fine. I guess you can drive today.”  
  
“I didn’t know you were so possessive of your truck.” I giggled while he scoffed and rolled his eyes.  
  
“And to think I do so much for you…” He joke while I fake-pouted.  
  
“But you know you love me.”  
  
“Of course I do.” He leaned over and kissed my nose before turning the radio on for the day.  


“What do you think California will be like?” Josh asked after a few hours of silently listening to the radio.  
  
“I don’t know, that’s why I want to go I’ve never been, and from what I’ve heard from you and other people it sounds so different.” He nodded.  
  
“Yeah, but I mean what do _you_ think? Like, what is it about California that makes you want to go? Other than it being different than Ohio?” I shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know, really I guess the distance? I just want to be as far away from there as possible.”  
  
“Why? Did he do anything before he-“  
  
“I’m not really comfortable talking about this, Josh.”  
  
“Why not? It might be important to get it all out, so that it doesn’t eat you up from the inside.” I huffed.  
  
“But what if I don’t _want_ to talk about it? Some things are probably just better left unsaid.”  
  
“I’m just trying to help…” He muttered quietly while I rolled my eyes, the drive turning silent again. But this time, it wasn’t comfortable- the silence cut like a knife. And it stayed for hours. The sun finally went down after a while, bring darkness to the silence.  
  
“Maybe we should stop for the night.” Josh commented while I nodded, pulling off to a motel. He checked in while I grabbed our stuff, following him silently to the hotel. After changing into my pajamas, I got in the bed. Josh turned the light off before getting in the bed, staying towards the other side. It took me a long time to sleep without him right beside me, but I did eventually.  



	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think it's safe to say we're back to two chapters a day YAYY lol

The next day passed mostly in silence as well. The only time Josh talked to me was when he asked if I wanted him to pull over to get a picture of the ‘Welcome to Arizona’ sign to go with the other states. I grunted in approval, getting out into the heat when he stopped. I took a quick picture before getting back in and continuing the drive, thanking him. He nodded before flipping through the radio for the fifth time today, still not finding any stations. I sighed and stared out the window, hugging my knees into my chest. What if he had been right, and I should talk to him. We’re together now, right? I should be able to trust him. I didn’t want to, but the piercing silence was worse. I didn’t want to admit I was wrong, I needed to find a way to say so without openly admitting it.  
  
“I spy, with my little eye… something green.” I said softly.  
  
“What?” I giggled slightly at his surprise.  
  
“I spy, with my little eye, something green. Guess what it is, Josh.” He looked around before looking over at me.  
  
“Is it a cactus?”  
  
“Yeah! Your turn.” He raised his eyebrow.  
  
“Okay… I spy, with my little eye… something brown.” I looked around before noticing a dusky brown rabbit.  
  
“Is it the rabbit?”  
  
“Yeah. Your turn.”  
  
“I spy, with my little eye, something bright.” He scoffed.  
  
“The sun?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“I spy, with my little eye, something pink.”  
  
“Pink? The flowers on the cactus?”  
  
“Yeah! Your turn again.” I sighed.  
  
“I spy, with my little eye… someone who’s sorry.” He glanced over at me before smiling back at the road.  
  
“Apology accepted. I’m sorry too, I probably shouldn’t have-“  
  
“But you were right. I should talk about these things.”  
  
“Do you want to now?” I shrugged.  
  
“Not really, but let’s get it over with.”  
  
“Alright. Did he do anything else to you when you were there, other than that night?”  
  
“Not really, he didn’t beat us or anything. He was really strict though, and like, really religious. Everything always related to the Bible somehow, and if it didn’t it was sin.” I shrugged.  
  
“’Us’?”  
  
“Yeah, I have two brothers and one sister- Zack, Jay, and Madison. I wonder how they’re doing.” He nodded.  
  
“Cool. I have two sisters and a brother. Ashley, Abigail, and Jordan.”  
  
“Do you miss them?”  
  
“Yeah, but I was off at college before, so we’re all kinda used to it. They still think I’m in college though, so I don’t know what I’m going to tell them when they start asking about seeing my graduation.” He chuckled.  
  
“Why haven’t you told them?” He shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know. We’re getting off topic though, this is about you.” I sighed.  
  
“I know. It’s just, I kinda feel uncomfortable talking about it. I thought I’d never have to worry about it if I just went as far away as possible, so I guess that’s why California. Can’t go any farther without a passport, so the other side of the country will have to do.”  
  
“I know you don’t like what happened, but you’re going to have to face it sooner or later. You can’t run away forever.”  
  
“Why not? It seems like you are.” He went to say something, but stayed there with his mouth hanging open.  
  
“Uh- was anyone else there when it happened?” I sighed.  
  
“No. I wanted to tell my dad without anyone else there in case he got mad they wouldn’t be caught in it. So they were all out at dinner or something while I pretended to be sick so I could stay home.” He nodded.  
  
“Do you think he told them what happened?” I shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know. If he did he probably over exaggerated it, that’s for sure.”  
  
“Do you maybe, want to call them? I do have a phone. You can call your mom or one of your siblings so that they know you’re okay.” I nodded.  
  
“I don’t know what I’d say, but I think they deserve it.” He smiled.  
  
“We can call them now if you want, or when we stop for the night. They might be asleep though, since the times are different there than here.”  
  
“Okay, I think now would be better, if the times are different.” He pulled over on the side of the road and pulled his phone out of the glove box.  
  
“Here you go. I should hope you know how to work a phone.” He chuckled. I nodded while entering my mom’s number. Even if she’s at work, I know she’ll pick up. It rang for a few moments before I heard her on the other end.  
  
 _“Hello?”_  
  
“Mom?"  
  
 _“Tyler- is that you?”_  
  
“Yeah. Hi mom…”  
  
 _“Oh my gosh, Tyler! Are you okay? Where are you?”_  
  
“Uh… New Mexico- no wait, Arizona.” I corrected when I saw Josh shaking his head.  
  
 _“Arizona? How’d you get all the way there?”_  
  
“Did dad tell you what happened?” She sighed.  
  
 _“Honey, you know how your dad is. I don’t necessarily agree with it, but… if it makes you happy I guess.”_  
  
“Y-You’re really okay with it?” She was silent for a moment.  
  
 _“I guess so. If it’s what makes you happy. I just hope that nothing else will lead you completely off the path. Even if it’s a… a guy, whoever you choose will gain so much.”_ I could hear the smile in her voice.  
  
“Thanks mom.”  
  
 _“So how did you get to Arizona then? You’re not being kidnapped or something, are you?”_ I chuckled.  
  
“No, I’m fine. I met someone a little ways out of town, and we’ve been driving across the country together. We’re going to California.”  
  
 _“And who’s that?”_  
  
“His name’s Josh. He’s really sweet, you’d like him a lot. He said he lived in Columbus too, but in a different neighborhood.”  
  
 _“Well he sounds sweet. He better hope nothing happens to you, or Mama Joseph will be after him!”_ She giggled while I groaned.  
  
“Really mom? I think he heard that.” I blushed when Josh laughed.  
  
 _“Oh, he’s there? Can I talk to him?”_ I swallowed hard.  
  
“Sure.” I nervously passed the phone over to Josh.  
  
“Hello?” I heard her talking, but not what she was saying.  
  
“Yeah. My name’s Josh. Tyler’s doing well. You have such an amazing son- he’s really talented!” He smiled over at me before talking to her again.  
  
“Oh yeah, he’s played his ukulele for me a lot, he’s incredible! Wait, really? Well, I’ll have to get him to play that for me too when we find one. Of course. Uh-huh. Thanks, it was a pleasure to meet you too, even if not in person. We’ll definitely stop if we’re ever in town. I hope I get to talk to you again soon!” He smiled and handed the phone back to me.  
  
 _“If you two are ever back in Ohio, I want to meet that **gentleman**!”_ She chuckled  
  
“So you like him?”  
  
 _“He seems very sweet. I’m glad you found him and not some sketchy stranger on the side of the road!”_ I swallowed, remembering the time we did find some sketchy stranger on the side of the road.  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
 _“Well I’ll let you two go. I miss you.”_  
  
“I miss you too, mom.”  
  
 _“Bye sweetheart. Call me again if you get the chance!”_  
  
“I will. Oh- can you let Zack, Maddie, and Jay know I’m alright?”  
  
 _“Of course. I love you!”_  
  
“I love you too.” I hung up the phone before putting it back in the glovebox. “Well that went better than I expected.” He chuckled.  
  
“Your mom sounds nice.” He smiled.  
  
“So what’d she talk about with you?”  
  
“Are you nervous she said something embarrassing about you?” He giggled.  
  
“A little bit, actually.”  
  
“She didn’t, don’t worry. I didn’t know you played piano too- and found the time to practice all of this while being on the basketball team!” I blushed.  
  
“Well… I like a lot of things. Besides- I could’ve gotten scholarships for playing basketball. It was my dad’s idea. I’ve always been more interested in music than sports, but it was fun. And I’m pretty good at it, I guess.” I shrugged.  
  
“You’re good at a lot of things. Just goes to show how amazing you are.” He kissed my lips briefly while I blushed, swerving into our lane again after drifting into the other, much to the dismay of another driver.  
  
“We’re gonna get in a wreck if you keep doing that.” I blushed harder while he smirked.  
  
“Then you shouldn’t kiss while I’m driving.”  
  
“Then you should pull over.” He mimicked my tone. I rolled my eyes, patting his thigh while keeping my focus on the road.  
  
“Maybe later, Joshie.” He groaned while I continued down the road.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I have family in Arizona I visit like every other year... in the middle of the flippen summer. It's nice except for the 100 degree heat but eh visiting family is pretty cool lol


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I tried the smut thing again. I don't think it came out that good, but oh well. Practice does make perfect, so more practice I guess lol (that came out dirtier than I thought. That or I'm just hopelessly dirty-minded). If you do choose to skip this, all you gotta know is Tyler gets his tattoos. Or you could read this and stop at the part that it obviously turns at. The whole thing isn't bad oh well. Okay I'm done rambling now I swear lol

“Hey Josh- look at that!” We were walking down a shopping district in Phoenix, after deciding to stick around for a day.  
  
“Look at what?”  
  
“That!” I ran over and pointed towards the statue outside of a tattoo shop. It was big white elephant absolutely covered in art of various styles and colors. I pulled my camera out of my fanny-pack (yes, I said fanny-pack) and took a picture of it before putting it away.  
  
“It looks cool, Ty.” He smiled at me. I looked up at the sign before glancing over at his arm.  
  
“I want a tattoo.” His eyes widened slightly.  
  
“You sure? They kinda hurt.”  
  
“Definitely.” He shrugged before opening the door.  
  
“Alright. Let’s go get you a tattoo.” He smiled.  


After a few painful hours of needlework and a trip to the ice cream shop to make up for it, I now had tattoos- 3 thin bands on my left wrist, more thick bands by my elbow, and other various symbols across both my arms- all filled in with black.  
  
“I like them.” I smiled down at my arms.  
  
“You make them look good, baby.” He smiled while we walked in the warm night to the hotel we were staying at. After going into our hotel room, Josh’s lips were on mine, moving quickly.  
  
_“So good.”_ He almost growled while moving closer, rubbing our crotches together. I whined as I started getting harder, bucking my hips into his. He moaned into my mouth, pinning my wrists above my head.  
  
“Clothes off. Now.” His voice grew so much deeper, causing me to get fully hard. I stripped quickly, taking his clothes off as slow as possible after. He glared at me impatiently as I slowly undid his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers.  
  
“Get on your knees.” I dropped to the ground and started taking his length in, hollowing my cheeks out.  
  
“I’m gonna fuck your mouth so hard you’ll taste me for a- _god yes, Ty.”_ He moaned while I swirled my tongue around the tip. He ran his fingers gently through my hair for a few seconds before pulling on the locks as he shoved my head further back. I gagged before he pulled out, thrusting back in after. I continually gagged and moaned around his dick, the sound vibrating.  
  
“God, Tyler. You keep doing that I’ll come.” He moaned, pulling me further down the base. My tongue traced his entire member every time he thrusted, his moans getting louder.  
  
“T-TYYY!” He screamed as he came. I gagged on it, swallowing some. He pulled out after, my lips releasing with a ‘pop’ sound. We both panted for a moment, his eyes going towards my still painfully- hard boner.  
  
“I think I need a shower after that. Care to join me?” I got up and followed him quickly to the bathroom, yelping when he grabbed my ass.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Geesh the people in my stories get so much more than I ever will I've never even hugged a boy that wasn't my dad whoops lol~~


	17. Chapter 17

After packing up in the morning we set off on the road again.  
  
“You know we’re almost to California.” He commented while driving.  
  
“We are?”  
  
“Yep. How long were you thinking of staying?”  
  
“I don’t really know.” I shrugged.  
  
“How about a week? We can spend different days in different areas before moving on.” I nodded.  
  
“What areas did you want to see? It’s a pretty big state.” He chuckled. I smiled.  
  
“I don’t know. You mentioned the beach, and the forest. So we should see those.” He nodded.  
  
“There’s a city on the coast I went to once with my family- Santa Cruz. It’s got both the beach and the forest in it, so maybe we can stay there for the whole time.”  
  
“That sounds good.” He smiled.  
  
“There’s even a boardwalk with rides open during the summer, so about now.” My eyes lit up.  
  
“Really? We should go!” He giggled.  
  
“I thought you might say that. We’ll definitely go check it out.” My smile grew.  
  
“You’re the best Joshie!” I hugged his side.  
  
“You’re welcome, baby.” He pressed his lips to mine for a moment, pulling away slowly. I leaned into his side, eventually falling asleep.  


I woke up a few hours later when Josh shook me awake.  
  
“This is it. The big moment.” He smiled at me, pointing towards the ‘Welcome to California’ sign. I jumped up and pulled my camera out, pausing for a moment.  
  
“Get in front of it.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Get in front of the sign. Like, go stand by it.” I giggled when he rolled his eyes and stood out by the sign.  
  
“This good?”  
  
“Move in a little closer.” I waved my hand towards where he needed to step in the shot. “There!” I snapped the picture before running over towards him, turning the camera around before snapping a picture of me kissing his cheek. “There.” We walked back in the truck, switching out drivers.  
  
“How long until we’re in the parts of California that aren’t hot? I groaned after a few hours of driving. He chuckled.  
  
“Probably a while. Like I said, it’s a pretty big state.”  
  
“Ugh, I can’t take the heat much longer!” I sighed, turning the A/C on as high as it could go.”  
  
“Well at least it gets cool at night. We could park somewhere and sleep outside again.” I smiled and nodded.  
  
“Yeah.” I glanced over, noticing my overflowing bag of now dirty clothes. “You think we could stop somewhere to do laundry?” He giggled.  
  
“What? Are you afraid of smelling bad?”  
  
“It’s not that- it’s that I’m out of clean clothes. I only brought so many, y’know.”  
  
“Alright, we’ll find somewhere tomorrow.”  
  
“Okay.” I chuckled. A few hours of comfortable silence and radio singalongs followed before we stopped for the night, getting the blankets out and in the bed of the truck. Josh laid on top of one, using our bags as pillows. I grabbed the other and wrapped it around us, resting my head on his bare chest.  
  
“Night, Ty.” He yawned, wrapping his arm around me.  
  
“Night, Josh.” I cuddled closer. “I love you.” He was silent a moment before kissing my forehead.  
  
“I love you too, baby boy.”  


The next morning we packed up and started off again, Josh driving until we found a laundromat. We got all of our clothes and started a load, sitting on the washer while it ran.  
  
“It feels like it’s going to be cooler now.”  
  
“Finally!” I huffed while he giggled.  
  
“Well we know you’re never going to live somewhere warm.”  
  
“I don’t mind the heat once in a while. It’s just when it’s so hot and dry at the same time, all the time- then I can’t stand it.” He chuckled.  
  
“At least you know what you like.” I nodded.  
  
“Yeah, and it wasn’t the desert.” I giggled.  
  
“I think after we finish here, if we don’t make that many stops we should get to LA. Then it’ll be a day or two after until we get to Santa Cruz.”  
  
“Okay, sounds good.” I hopped off and switched the clothes into the dryer when they were done, sitting back up beside him after.  
  
“So where do you think we should go after California?” I shrugged.  
  
“I’m not sure.”  
  
“Okay. We’ll just figure it out then.” He smiled. I smiled back, kissing his cheek. He glanced over at my bag, the camera poking out of one of the pockets.  
  
“We need to find a place to get the film in that developed.”  
  
“I don’t know if I want to yet. The roll isn’t full yet, and I’ve got a few more before then.” He shrugged.  
  
“Alright. But whenever you want to get those developed, let me know.” I nodded. We sat in content silence until the clothes were done. I grabbed them all and shoved them into my bag, deciding to go through them later. We got in the truck and started off again for the day, arriving at LA by night time. I gazed out in awe at the night sky, countless lights from the towering buildings lighting it. I took a picture of it as we drove by. I looked over and smiled at Josh, taking another picture. The lights from signs and buildings lit up his face and reflected off his sunglasses. And with the buildings in the background, it was the perfect shot. I sighed contently, slowly drifting to sleep in the car. I was definitely sure that I loved it here already, and I wanted to stay a while.  



	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for only putting one chapter instead of two up yesterday! It's unfortunately gonna be like that today too because it's spring and I have allergies lol. And the only allergy meds in my house at this moments put me to sleep so I'm like really out of it lol. Hopefully my writing doesn't suffer because of it though!

“Hey Josh, can we hang around here for a few days?” I asked after we woke up the next morning, staying up late to find a motel. We ended up settling on a short- term rent for a condo, since there weren’t any other places with vacancy.  
  
“Sure. It seems pretty nice.” He smiled. “We should probably find something to do for today then.” I nodded while he pulled out his phone and started searching stuff. I flipped through the channels on the TV in our room, settling on the local news.  
  
“Says here they have a water park.”  
  
“Eh, I don’t know. There’s a pool here al-“  
  
“And it’s going to be another hot day! Temperatures will be all the way up to the upper 90’s today, with a low of 78 degrees.” I paused when the TV got louder as it announced the weather, groaning at the thought of more heat. Josh chuckled.  
  
“Water park it is then?”  
  
“Yeah. Water park.” He pulled our (his) swim trunks out of my bag and changed in the bathroom. I pulled out a fresh t-shirt and slid on while waiting for the bathroom. It felt weird on me- it was way too baggy and a little long. I looked down at what I grabbed more carefully and noticed it was one of Josh’s. I smiled and kept it on, admiring how soft the material was. I felt his eyes follow me as I went to the bathroom to change after he finished.  
  
“Is that one of my shirts? I shrugged.  
  
“Probably. I mixed our laundry together when it was done.” I closed the door and changed into the trunks quickly before making my hair look decent. I walked out and slipped my shoes on.  
  
“Ready?”  
  
“Yeah.” We each grabbed one of the complimentary towels and walked out to the truck before driving off to the water park.  


“Come on Josh! It’s not that bad!” I shouted down from the staircase towards one of the many slides, waiting in line for the third time. I saw him shake his head again.  
  
“I- I’m good, Ty. How about that one?” He pointed towards a smaller one that led to the wave pool. I raised my eyebrow towards him before running down the stairs.  
  
“What’s wrong with this one?”  
  
“Nothing! It’s just… that’s really high up, don’t you think?” I smiled sweetly.  
  
“You’re afraid of heights, aren’t you?” His face flushed.  
  
“N-No! I’m not afraid…” I grabbed his hands and pulled him to the back of the line with me.  
  
“Then come on! This one’s really fun, and if you don’t want to go on it later, you’ve got plenty of time to decide.” I gestured towards the long line. He sighed and nodded.  
  
“Okay…” After waiting for about twenty minutes, we finally made it to the top. I let Josh go first, going on right after him. When I reached the bottom, I saw him shaking on the edge of the pool.  
  
“Hey, you okay?” I sat beside him and wrapped my arms around him. He shook his head.  
  
“Can we… not go on that one anymore?” I giggled and held him while he glared.  
  
“Of course. You know, being afraid of heights isn’t a bad thing. It’s okay to be afraid of some things.”  
  
“Easy for you to say…”  
  
“What? I have plenty of phobias too!” I pouted. He giggled.  
  
“Oh yeah? Like what?”  
  
“Well spiders, for starters.” I shuddered. “Clowns, tight spaces, stuff like that.” He nodded.  
  
“ _Now_ can we go on the other one?” He smiled and stood up.  
  
“Yeah.” He helped me up before we walked over to it.  


After hanging out at the water park for a few more hours, we changed into something dry and went back to the condo. I took the first shower to get the smell of chlorine off. When I came out, I couldn’t find Josh anywhere in the room.  
  
“Josh? Joooosh, I wanna cuddle!” I whined. I continued wandering, turning around when I felt something poke my shoulder. “Jo- HOLY SHIT!” I screamed and ran off from Josh, who was laughing hysterically in clown makeup.  
  
“S-Sorry Ty I just h-had to test it out!” I crossed my arms and pouted.  
  
“I trusted you with that information!” He giggled before wiping a tear from his eyes and wrapping his arms around me.  
  
“I’m sorry, baby. We can still cuddle if you want.”  
  
“Yeah. Right after you wash that stuff off.” I smirked and moved away from his embrace.  
  
“Okay, okay. Not funny. I’m sorry, Tyler.” He walked over to the bathroom while I crawled in bed. After a few minutes he came out and wrapped his arm around me. I leaned into his embrace. I looked up from the notebook I was writing and smiled before going back to writing.  
  
“What’re you writing in there, baby boy?”  
  
“New songs.”  
  
“Cool. I bet they’re gonna be incredible.” He kissed my cheek and let me continue. It felt weird- if I did this at home my whole family would be breathing down my neck trying to see what I was writing. But Josh didn’t do that, he gave me space to write. I hummed contently and continued, pausing when I heard him drumming his fingers on the table. It was a really good beat- fairly quick and had enough going on to be interesting. I hummed the melody I had in mind while he continued. He stopped when he heard me, much to my disappointment.  
  
“Why’d you stop?”  
  
“I didn’t want to distract you from what you’re doing.”  
  
“But you weren’t.” He smiled.  
  
“I wasn’t?”  
  
“’Course not! You should continue- I was onto something good with you doing that.” He nodded and started back up again, using different surfaces and different areas of his hand to add more variety. I started adding the lyrics in after a few moments.  
  
“ _You are surrounding all my surroundings, sounding down the mountain range of my left-side brain. You are surrounding all my surroundings, twisting the kaleidoscope behind both of my eyes. And I'll be holding on to you._ ” I started speeding up the lyrics, my singing almost fading into rap. “ _Remember the moment you know exactly where you're going, Cause the next moment, before you know it, time is slowing and its frozen still, and the window sill looks really nice, right? You think twice about your life, it probably happens at night, Right? Fight it, Take the pain, ignite it. Tie a noose around your mind, loose enough to breathe fine and tie it, to a tree. Tell it, ‘You belong to me. This ain't a noose, this is a leash. And I have news for you: you must obey me.'_ ” I blushed when I noticed Josh had stopped a long time ago and was listening.  
  
“That was incredible.” His eyes were wide in awe.  
  
“Thanks. I wasn’t sure on how to do that second part, but it came together when I heard your beat.” I smiled.  
  
“It wasn’t that good. Just something I came up with out of boredom.” I looked over at him incredulously.  
  
“If that was you making something up out of boredom, then what I said before is right. You’re an awesome drummer.” He blushed slightly. I smiled and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart racing in his chest. “Maybe we can find a music store or something that you can show me how you play drums.” He nodded.  
  
“Only if you play the piano for me there, if they have one.”   
  
“Alright, that seems fair.” I smiled and picked up my notebook again, starting to write the rest of the song.  
  
_"It ain't the speakers that bump hearts, It's our hearts that make the beat."_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just found out one of my friends has never been to the Olive Garden and I seriously don't know what to do with that. Like, how does someone not go to the Olive Garden??? I get if there's not one close to you, but we live like a few miles from one!!! But if you're by one and want some Italian food, GO!!! They have the best breadsticks ever!!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this starts of really cute but there's smut later in it *cough blow job cough* and I'm still getting over allergies so one chapter today as well :/ Pretty sure I'm gonna be pretty much over it by tomorrow though so look forward to regular scheduling guys! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a firm believer that the best thing to do ever is eat junk food/ Taco Bell in a blanket fort while watching movies. I've never done it but that doesn't mean I'm not a believer

I woke up late the next morning, slightly worried by how dark it was. I muttered in confusion, causing Josh to chuckle and lift something off my face- my notebook.  
  
“Better?” I yawned while stretching.  
  
“Yeah.” He kissed my cheek.  
  
“Sleep well?” I nodded.  
  
“What time is it? It feels late.”  
  
“Well you’re right there. It’s almost one. You must’ve been up really late writing last night.” I whined.  
  
“One!? So much for doing anything today.”  
  
“Well there’s always tomorrow. Besides, we can just hang out here, watch some movies and get some junk food.” I smiled.  
  
“Okay. Can we make a blanket fort?” He giggled.  
  
“Really?” I pouted.  
  
“Yeah! They’re cool!”  
  
“Alright. I’ll run to the store and get some snacks, and you get started on that.” I nodded and stood up, gathering all the blankets and pillows on the bed into one big pile. I pecked his lips before he left and set to work. I slid the mattress down on the ground and set pillows around it, towering above it. I draped the blanket on top of before getting other pillows and couch cushions and placing them on the mattress. I smiled at my work, finishing right as Josh walked in.  
  
“I got some red bull, a few pints of ice cream, and chips. That good?”   
  
“Yeah! I just finished making the fort.” He looked over and giggled.  
  
“I feel like a little kid doing this. You’re such a dork.” I snorted and rolled my eyes.  
  
“Sometimes it’s okay to act like a little kid.” I pulled him in the fort while he set up the snacks.  
  
“What movies did you get?”  
  
“I got Fight Club, The Avengers, and Mean Girls.”  
  
“Mean Girls?”  
  
“What? It’s funny!” He pouted. I shrugged.  
  
“Alright. We can watch that one first then.” I smiled and grabbed a can of red bull.  


Hours passed after we watched Mean Girls and Fight Club, which is Josh’s favorite I found out. We sat in the blanket fort still, completely quiet and content in each others presence. I laid against him with my head on his chest while he traced random shapes across my shoulder. I closed my eyes and smiled, feeling so happy. I pulled one of his sweaters on earlier, and was curled up in it. He giggled and kissed my temple. I moved closer into him. He wrapped his arms around me and trailed kisses from my forehead down to my jaw. I hummed happily as he continued down to my neck. I moaned softly when he got to the crook of my neck.  
  
“Feel good?” He sucked on there, making me moan louder.  
  
“M-Mhmm. Right th-ere.” My voice cracked. He smirked and ran his tongue across the sensitive spot before biting down. I whined. He situated himself on top of me and slid my shirt off before tossing it to the side. He gazed hungrily down at me before sucking marks all down my chest and stomach. He stopped before the waist of my basketball shorts, smirking when he saw a tent in them. He pulled at the waist band before I shimmied out of them, bucking my hips. He pinned them down, making a ‘tsk’ sound.  
  
“Impatience gets you nothing, baby.” He smirked up at me before kissing on my hips, slowly moving lower.  
  
“J-Josh please.” He ignored me and kept going, placing gentle kisses on the thin fabric around my cock. I whined. “P-Please! Please Josh…” He looked up at me and smirked.  
  
“’Please’ what?”  
  
“Touch me, Josh.” He pulled down my boxers, my aching hard- on springing free. He licked his lips before sliding his tongue down the base to the tip. I moaned as he flicked his tongue across the tip again before wrapping his lips around me.  
  
“F-Fuck…” I tangled my fingers in his bright red hair. He moaned around me while bobbing his hair, still pinning my hips down. My grip tightened as he took all of me in.  
  
“God J-Josh, I’m so close….” He wrapped his tongue around me inside his mouth, moving it around while moaning. I came without warning, moaning loudly. He locked his dark eyes with mine while swallowing before sliding off, his lips almost matching his hair now. I smiled and cuddled back into his chest, sliding my shorts and boxers back on.   
“That felt so good, Jish.”  
  
“Anything for you, Ty.” He kissed my cheek before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. “Love you, baby.”  
  
“Love you too.” I replied before falling asleep in his arms.  



	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is super triggering in the beginning if you get panic attacks or anything like that so please be careful! I'll put something to separate the triggering stuff at the beginning of the chapter. Stay safe guys :) |-/  
> I also made it where you could start from after the line and you wouldn't be missing a lot, so if you decide to read from there it shouldn't feel weird :)

_Josh and I continued walking, more like jogging from the rain, down the street towards the truck._  
  
_“Good. We made it just before it got worse.” Josh panted, relief filling his voice._  
  
_“Yeah.” I smiled in between heavy breaths. “So now what?” He shrugged._  
  
_“I guess we just wait it out.” The rain continued for a long time, with eventual flashes of lightning and thunder. During one, the entire truck went dark after in contrast._  
  
_“Josh?” I spoke weakly. One fear I didn’t mention to him before was I was afraid of the dark, especially being alone in it._  
  
**“He’s gone.”** _An unfamiliar voice answered._  
  
_“What?”_  
  
**“Josh left you. He’s gone.”** _There was a sadistic edge to the voice, almost sounding too enthusiastic to be sharing that news._  
  
_“N-No, he’s right here. We’re here in his truck.” The lights turned on after that, revealing a room with walls that were as gray as concrete and kinda reflective. I walked towards one of them my hand gliding down the cold surface in confusion._  
  
_“Where am I?” I looked at the walls again, my reflection glaring back at me, but he looked different. His face was smudged out, and his eyes from what I could tell were bright red. “What’s going on?” Right after the words left my mouth, loud voices started talking, all of them sounding like mine but in different tones- happy, sad, angry, fearful. Most had an edge of fear or sadness, the loudest one shouting over and over again, with anger and sadness thick._  
  
_**“No one cares what I think, or what I dream!”** It got louder and louder as I covered my ears, sitting in the center of the room. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block it out. The faint sound of footsteps got louder until whoever it was stopped and lifted my head up forcefully by my chin. I stared up at my reflection, a twisted smile playing across his lips._  
  
**“I care what you think.”**  


“Tyler!” I jolted awake, held down by Josh.  
  
“J-Josh?” I panted, drenched in sweat.  
  
“I’m right here.” He rubbed my back while I cried, whispering soothingly into my ear.  
  
“You need to calm down. Breathe with me, okay? In… out.” He sighed and continued while I shakily tried to breathe along with him. “You’re doing great, Ty. In… out.” I slowly started to breathe normally again, burying myself in Josh’s arms with burning lungs.  
  
“That must’ve been some dream. You were screaming and thrashing.” I blushed.  
  
“Y-Yeah…”  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” I nodded slightly.  
  
“I-It was raining, and we-we were in the truck, but then it got da-dark. And then I was in this room that looked kinda like it was made of mirrors, and there was me-but-not-me, a-and he had red eyes, an-and then there was scre-screaming, and then he-he came up to me and sai-said he cares what I think.” Josh held me in his arms, rocking back and forth gently. “A-And he said y-you left me.”  
  
“That’s not real. I don’t know who that guy was, but I’m not leaving you. I don’t plan on it.” He kissed my temple and slowly laid me down next to him. “Do you want to try and get some more sleep?” I shook my head.  
  
“I don’t think I can.” He nodded and reached over to the night stand and handed my notebook.  
  
“I don’t exactly know how this kind of thing works, but in case you want or need to write something.” He smiled and nuzzled into my chest.  
  
“Thanks.” I smiled weakly and started putting pen to paper to try and forget the nightmare.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |-/ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  


I woke up later with my notebook in my lap and Josh snoring beside me. I smiled, then frowned remembering how I woke him up earlier. I sighed and got up and slipped my shoes on before going out to the nearest store. I was way too groggy to function and forgot what people normally have for breakfast. So I trudged down a few aisles before settling on PB&J sandwiches and Nutella. I grabbed everything we needed to make those and went to the checkout. I paid before going across the way to Starbucks and getting us each a coffee, Josh’s was black while I had a Carmel Macchiato. I went back to our condo and started making sandwiches after putting the drinks somewhere they stayed warm. I hummed to myself softly, smiling when I felt Josh’s arms wrap around my hips.  
  
“What’s all this, baby?”  
  
“Breakfast. I felt bad for waking you up earlier, so I wanted to make up for it somehow. It’s just PB&J’s because I couldn’t really remember what normal breakfast food is.” He chuckled.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. Stuff happens, and I’m glad to help you through all of it no matter what.” He kissed my cheek and grabbed a finished sandwich of each kind before sitting down. I smiled at him before staring in bewilderment as he took both apart and stuck one piece with peanut butter to one with Nutella and the same with the jelly. He took a bite from one and smiled, raising his eyebrow when he saw me staring.  
  
“What? You never had them this way?”  
  
“No.” I shook my head.  
  
“Oh my gosh, you have to try it!” He ran over and held the sandwich up to my mouth. I took a bite and hummed happily.  
  
“Tha’s really good!” I said while chewing. He chuckled.  
  
“I told you.” He glanced over at the counter and walked over.  
  
“You even got coffee?”  
  
“Uh-huh. I made sure to get yours black.” He walked over with his cup in one hand and half-eaten sandwich in the other, hugging me tightly as I finished making my sandwiches.  
  
“Thanks baby.” He kissed my cheek and sat down on the couch. I sat down beside him and leaned into him as we watched some random show on TV, eventually deciding on reruns of Friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting fact I've never had Nutella and I haven't eaten PB&J sandwiches in like 10 years. The joys of developing a nut allergy...


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter came out kinda short. Luckily I've got another one to add to it for today's update!

After staying around for all of yesterday, Josh decided we should pack up and start driving again.  
  
“Do we really have to go so soon? We just got here, it feels like.” He shrugged.  
  
“You get used to that after traveling around, don’t worry.”  
  
“So we’re, like, never going to stop anywhere and just stay?”  
  
“Nah, we probably shouldn’t.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Well we don’t really have the money to, for starters. And also because I don’t really want to.”  
  
“Why? Sometimes it’s nice to just stop and have a look around.”  
  
“Just because.”  
  
“But why? I can tell there’s an actual reason you’re not sharing, Josh.” I said without thinking, regretting the words once they left my mouth. Josh’s brow furrowed.  
  
“Yes, Tyler, there _is_ a reason I’m not sharing. One I don’t plan to either.” He murmured. And to make things worse, I retaliated.  
  
“Why won’t you share it though, _Josh_?” I replied in the same snarky tone he used before.  
  
“Because I don’t want to! There’s just some things not everyone needs to know!” He shouted before storming out, slamming the door behind him. I sighed and sat on the bed, listening to the sound of the truck starting and driving away. Tears slid down my cheeks silently as he left. Why did I have to be so _stupid?!_  


A few hours of crying later, the door opened. I peeked over the covers I was buried under to see Josh storming in.  
  
“Josh- I’m so sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have-“  
  
“Save it.” He muttered angrily before getting all of his stuff together.  
  
“W-Where are you- Josh, what’re you doing?”  
  
“We’re in California now, so this is where we part ways, Tyler. Like we said before.” My heart shattered into pieces as the rest of me went numb. “I went to the office and extended the lease on here to a year. That should be long enough for you to get a job and your own place here, and settle down or something.” He rolled his eyes and looked over at me, his eyes somewhat apologetic but mostly angry, before leaving.  
  
“Josh- wait! We can talk through this! Josh, please!” I broke into sobs as I followed him out until he got in the truck and drove off. How could he do this to me? He said he’d never leave, and why would he over something so small? This wasn’t like Josh at all. It was like he was an entirely different person, he wouldn’t even listen to what I had to say.  
  
**“I’ll listen to you, Ty. I care what you think.”** The voice from my dream before spoke from the deepest parts of my head. I started to scream in between sobs.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't murder me. And sorry if this feels forced, it's important to the story line and I might've rushed it just a tad bit. But seriously don't kill me please, pretty please


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, you're all still probably gonna want to kill me. I'M SO SORRY I'M JUST MAKING PROGRESS IN THE STORYLINE!!! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME

  
For the next few months, I never left my home. I wandered around the rooms of the condo vacantly. During the first few days I found a note from Josh addressed to me, but I never read it. I crumpled it and threw it aside before sobbing again. How could I have been so stupid and careless? The only person I had when no one else was there for me was gone now, and it was all my fault.  
  
 **“Don’t think of it that way, you still have me.”** The voice from my head, I’ve since nicknamed him “Blurryface” based off his first appearance, added.  
  
“No. I d-don’t want you. I want Josh. I started to cry again. The only thing I had left to remember him by was one of his shirts I was wearing when he left. Some nights I held onto it while I slept, trying to use it as some sort of comfort against the dark thoughts the night brought. Of course it never helped, but I still tried. After a while, I started trying to act somewhat normal again to get a job. A year had almost passed, so that meant the lease was about to expire and was going to have to find someplace to live, obviously smaller. I walked into a café down the street for an interview now.  
  
“Hi! How can I help you today?” The cheery barista, “Mark”, asked from behind the counter.  
  
“Hey. I heard you guys were hiring, so I came to see if I could get a job.” He nodded.  
  
“Do you know how to work any of the machines?” I shook my head.  
  
“Not really.” He raised his eyebrow.  
  
“Are you easy to teach?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Great! You can start tomorrow. We’ve been underhanded for so long, so we definitely have some positions around here for you.” He smiled.  
  
“R-Really? That’s it?”  
  
“Yep. There’s not that many qualifications to working here. You just gotta know how to make coffee and be friendly, or fake it, when working the counter. I’ll even get you a tip jar to get you started with tomorrow.”  
  
“Thank you so much!” I smiled.  
  
“No problem. Your shift will start at eight, so see you early tomorrow!”  
  
“Thanks, see you then.” I faked a smile before walking out and sighing. At least now I could make money and set some aside for an apartment. I walked back to my condo and crawled into bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes. I was only 4:10 in the afternoon, but this way I could at least get a little sleep before tomorrow.  



	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a trigger warning at the end of this for implied self-harm. Please don't read if that bothers you. Stay safe :) |-/

I groaned and rolled over at the sound of my alarm going off. I only fell asleep a few hours ago so I got pretty much no sleep.  
  
**“Good morning, sunshine.”** Blurryface greeted, even though he kept me awake all night.  
  
“Go away…” I muttered while getting ready.  
  
**“Hm. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”** If I could see his eyes I know he’d be rolling them. I groaned and finished getting ready. I looked over at the shirt on my bed, sighing before slipping it on. Even if he wasn’t here, I’d have Josh’s comfort to calm my nerves somehow. After finding a way to make the bags under my eyes look not so noticeable, I walked over to the café making it a few minutes early.  
  
“Hey! You’re early.” Mark smiled.  
  
“Yeah. Didn’t want to make a bad impression on my first day.” I put on the smile and cheery tone I rehearsed in front of the mirror this morning.  
  
“Eh, it’s fine. Just means there’s more time to teach you the basics.” I walked behind the counter and put on the apron he handed me and listened while he taught me how to use the register.  
  
“I’m starting you off on the morning shift so it won’t be as busy, but you’ll be moved to double the first and second shifts once you get the hang of the machines, alright? And I’ll be here to help if you have any questions.”  
  
“Cool, thanks.” I forced a smile towards him before getting ready for our first customer. One walked in a few minutes after. “Good morning, what can I get for you?” The preoccupied boy didn’t even look up from the book his nose was buried in.  
  
“I’ll have my usual, please.”  
  
“What would that be? I’m sorry, I-I’m new here, so you’ll have to cut me some slack.” He looked up and blushed.  
  
“Sorry about that! I was so absorbed I didn’t notice you weren’t Mark… Tyler.” He smiled after reading the name tag. “I’ll have a Lemongrass tea, extra strong.”  
  
“Alright, and what’s the name for your order?”  
  
“Patrick.” He paid and slipped a few bucks and a note into my tip jar before sitting down at one of the tables. I looked over after making his tea to see whole face practically shoved into the book. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever he was doing, so I set it down at the table beside him.  
  
“Enjoy.” I walked back to the counter after he grunted happy to show he acknowledged me. A few more customers walked in and left. Patrick eventually left an hour or so later, leaving an extra tip in my jar before smiling and walking out.  
  
“How are you doing out here?” Mark came back out after getting stock from the local bakery.  
  
“Pretty good, actually. This wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be.”  
  
“Great! Would you be alright with starting an extra shift by the end of the week?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Okay, great. There’s not much longer left in your shift, so if you want to take the last fifteen minutes or so as your break feel free to.” He smiled and walked off. I clocked out and sat down at one of the tables, reading the note Patrick left earlier.  
  
_“I’m so sorry about that! Maybe we can hang out so I can make up for it though? :)”_ I flipped it over to see a phone number scrawled across it. I huffed before pocketing the note, deciding to talk to him him later. Maybe it would be good for me to make a friend or two now, it would help me get over Josh. A few minutes passed before I decided to go home.  
  
“Hey Mark, I’m heading out.” He ran out with a small bag.  
  
“Here- take these with you. The bakery brought a few extra, and they’re absolutely delicious!” I smiled almost- really at the gesture and grabbed the bag.  
  
“Thanks, they smell good. See you tomorrow then.” I waved before walking out. I walked home and put the bag on the counter before crawling into bed.  
  
**“Long day?”** Blurryface mocked, obviously aware that I haven’t been around other people on so long that socializing was now tiring.  
  
“Stop pretending.”  
  
**“’Pretending’? I’m not, I really do care. Like I’ve said, I care what you think.”** I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Then do something to prove it.” I later regretted saying this.  
_**TRIGGER WARNING AFTER THIS POINT**_  
**“Alright. Fine. I’ll help you with your depression. Go to the bathroom and grab a razor.”** The room grew cold with this words. I grew numb when I knew where he was going with this, but I obeyed. **“Good. I think you know what to do from here.”** I swallowed hard and nodded, completing the task at hand. **“Is that better?”** He replied maliciously. I frantically stopped the bleeding when what I had done sunk in.  
  
“N-No! Why, how is that helping?! I’m bleeding now!” I sighed and changed after bandaging my wrist and laid in bed.  
  
**“Yes, but do you want to hear what you’re not doing? Thinking about him.”** I froze in realization- he was right. I fell asleep thinking about what Blurry had said before, and the events from today.  



	24. Chapter 24

I woke up the next morning and got ready for work. I got there and clocked in, my shift going by quickly. I talked with Patrick for a while, telling him how I didn’t really have a phone so I couldn’t text him back. Which was true- I left it that day in my hurry. He understood and set up a time for us to hang out at my place on Friday night. Mark came out with more pastries as I gathered what was in my tip jar and left for the day after my shift. The next few days repeated the same routine until Friday rolled around. I spent the day after my shift cleaning up and making myself look decent. The doorbell went off an hour so later right after I got out of the shower. I dried off and changed quickly before answering to see Patrick standing outside.  
  
“Hey Tyler! Glad to see I’m not lost.” He chuckled while I invited him in.  
  
“Do you want anything to snack on, or to drink?”  
  
“No thanks on food, but some water please.” I went over to the front room where he sat on the couch with two chilled bottles of water, handing one to him. I took a swig from it as he started conversation.  
  
“So tell me something about yourself.” I smiled nervously.  
  
“I um, I like music.”  
  
“Me too! Do you play anything?” My heart sank thinking about the last time I played.  
  
“Not for a long time, but yeah. Do you play anything?”  
  
“Guitar, piano, vocals, drums, pretty much everything.” He chuckled nervously.  
  
“That’s so cool! It must’ve taken you years to learn that much.”  
  
“Yeah but it was worth it.” He smiled. “Do you have any other interests?”  
  
“Um, photography. I like photography. And poetry.” I added quickly.  
  
“I don’t know much about photography, but I love writing poetry. Mostly song lyrics though.” He shrugged.  
  
“Do you read it too? You’re always reading a new book every day when you come in.”  
  
“Yeah, some of its poetry. A lot of it are old books Pete liked.”  
  
“’Pete’?”  
  
“My husband, or he was. Cancer isn’t too kind.” He smiled weakly, sadness filling his eyes.  
  
“I’m so sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay now. Neither of us are suffering, and I have all sorts of books he loved I never got to read before.” I smiled genuinely at how pure their loved seemed, even if it was taken from them. It’s easy for someone in Patrick’s place to turn bitter, but he was the exact opposite.  
  
“That sounds amazing.”  
  
“Yeah.”  


After talking for a while longer Patrick left for the evening. He was very nice and friendly. I went to bed later, sleeping until I had to get ready for work. I went in the next day to see Mark talking to someone.  
  
“Hey Tyler, this is Brendon. He just got hired on, so do you think you could show him the ropes?”  
  
“Yeah, no problem.” Mark walked off to the back to do inventory.  
  
“What’s up dude?” Brendon energetically replied. “Damn, you’re tall! Basketball player?” He joked.  
  
“Yeah actually. Well- used to. I played in high school.” I forced my usual smile and started teaching Brendon how to use the machines. The shift continued on after, slowly ending when I took my break after Brendon. Mark gave me my pay for the week with my tips when I left, alongside a bag of croissants. I went home and ate one of them, counting how much money I had set aside. After checking it all, I began to look at local listings for different apartments. After finding one within my budget and area, I set the listing aside and went to bed for the night.  



	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's got a trigger warning for self-harm, so be safe reading it please guys! Feel free to skip this chapter, what's plot relevant that happens is Tyler gets a new apartment (since the lease on the last place he's at is pretty much up). Stay safe guys! |-/

The next morning I woke up late (since it was my day off) and myself look decent before walking over to the apartment complex.  
  
**“You’re up early.”** Blurryface started his usual buzzing in the back of my skull with sarcasm.  
  
_“Stop bothering me. I’m actually starting to do better now, no thanks to you.”_ I replied in my thoughts.  
  
**“You know what? You’re no fun, Tyler. All you do is complain and mope, and when I try to help you, you act very ungrateful. We should fix that later.”** I started to feel uneasy with his words. He continue to say similar comments until I grew too paranoid and ran home instead.  
  
“What do you have planned?”  
  
**“Your punishment. For being ungrateful, because friends don’t let friends act rudely.”** He said malignantly. **“Get the razor again.”** I walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet, razor in hand.  
  
“I-I’m sorry, I-I’ll stop- I swear…” I choked out, not wanting to add to the collection I had after he made me do this last time to forget about Josh.  
  
**“Too late. Maybe this will tell you not to act certain ways. Every time I say something, you cut. Clear?”** I nodded quickly, tears streaming down my cheeks.  
  
**“You’re rude.”** _Cut._  
  
**“No one likes you.”** _Cut._  
  
**“You deserve every bad thing that’s ever happened.”** _Cut._  
  
**“He never loved you.”** His voice turned even more sadistic. _Deep cut._  
  
**“Ooh, hit a nerve, did we? We should keep going with that. Josh only did what he did out of pity.”** _Another deep cut._  
  
**“He didn’t care.”** _Shaky deep cut._ The world started to fade ever so slightly into a haze.  
  
**“He was using you for sex.”** _Deep cut and the clatter of metal falling to the ground._  
  
**“I guess that should do for now. Now go clean up, you have a listing to see.”** I shakily got up and stripped before getting in the shower, hissing when the warm water made contact with open wounds. After showering I changed into a sweater and jeans before walking back out to the apartment complex down the street.  


“Good afternoon, how can I help you today?” The lady in the lease office greeted.  
  
“Hi, I saw you have a listing here?” I pulled out the folded newspaper clipping with the listing out of my pocket.  
  
“Yeah! Were you interested?”  
  
“Yeah, do you think I could take a look at it?”  
  
“Of course, sir. I can give you a small tour before we talk about any papers.” I forced a smile and nodded.  
  
“That would be great.” After the tour, I signed the lease papers and paid the first month before walking back home- what used to be home. I sighed and started gathering anything I had here into my bag before going to bed, ready for tomorrow’s move-in date.  


I woke up the next morning and got changed before gathering my things and going over to the lease office here, confirming my move out of the condo. I walked over to the apartment and settled in, sitting on the couch in the front room after throwing my bag in my bedroom. The concept was open and flowing, with the kitchen and front rooms connected to the dining room, and the bedrooms and bathroom down a hallway.  
  
**“It’s nice.”**  
  
“Y-Yeah.” I answered hesitantly, remembering what happened the last time I spoke to Blurryface less than kindly a little too vividly.  
  
**“See? It’s nice when you’re not constantly being rude. Then you’re actually a pleasure to talk to.”**  
  
“I guess so.” I smiled weakly, happy that he wasn’t tormenting me.  
  
**“You should invite everyone over, for a house-warming party. Then they can see how messed up you are.”** I sighed, ignoring the last comment he made.  
  
“I guess. Should that be on Friday?”  
  
**“Sure, up to you when they find out how pathetic and rude you really are. I’m just here to watch.”**  
“Alright, Friday it is.” I replied nervously.  



	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's kinda short. But hey- I'm finally over my allergies so I've got two chapters today! :)

I woke up early the next morning and went to work, leaving a little bit earlier to make up for the slightly longer walk. I walked into the shop a little nervously and saw Mark and Brendon already here.  
  
“Morning Tyler!” Mark greeted.  
  
“Hey- basketball!” Brendon enthusiastically shouted across the café.  
  
“Hey.” I smiled shyly and put my apron on before walking being the counter.  
  
“Any big plans for the weekend, Ty-guy?” Brendon came up right behind me.  
  
“Yeah, actually. I just got a new place, so I was thinking about inviting you guys over for a little house-warming.”  
  
“Sure thing! Just leave the new address somewhere in my office and I’ll be there.” Mark shouted from the back as he took inventory.  
  
“If there’s beer I’m there!” Brendon smiled.  
  
“You’ll have to bring you own beer though, since I’m only 19. I can’t really drink of buy alcohol yet.” He groaned.  
  
“Fine. I’m bringing a 6 pack, anyone got preferences?” He shouted to no one in particular.  
  
“No one cares, now get to work!” Mark replied as he brought the pastries out. A while later Patrick came in with another new book.  
  
“Hey. Lemongrass?”  
  
“Yeah.” He smiled as he paid.  
  
“Oh- I’m having a little get-together on Friday since I just moved. If you want you’re welcome to come.”  
  
“I’ll be there! Can you write the address on my cup?”  
  
“Sure thing.” I smiled and made his drink, bringing over to him per our routine.  
  
“You inviting anyone else over?” Brendon asked over the clamor of the espresso machines.  
  
“Nah, just you two and Patrick. I don’t really know that many people here.”  
  
“Alright, then I’ll just bring enough for me. Pat’s not much of a drinker, and I’m not sure about Mark-“  
  
“Not a chance! I’m not getting shitfaced on my weekend.” Brendon closed his gaping mouth after being interrupted.   
“That answers that, I guess.” He chuckled.  
  
“Yeah.” I continued working until my shift ended, sitting at one of the tables to take my break.  
  
“Hey, Tyler. I’m gonna put you on another shift, is that alright? It’s the closing one though, so you don’t have to be back here ‘til 6 though.” I nodded, looking at the clock to see it was only noon.  
  
“Alright, that sounds good.”  
  
“Great. See you later then.” He left a bag with muffins on the table before walking off. One of the perks of working here was definitely all of the sweets I got after each shift. I walked out and back to my place. I set the bag on the table and crawled into bed, exhausted. I set my alarm for five and drifted off to sleep.  



	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has definitely got some trigger warnings for referenced self- harm and a dream Tyler has that's pretty bad. The dream's in italics though if you want to skip over that part. If you choose to skip the entire chapter though, they have the house-warming thing and it's pretty much them watching movies while Brendon gets drunk (because I can't write parties since I haven't really been to a party before whoops). Oh and the cafe gets a piano and smol bean Tyler plays on it during his break (spoiler alert: the song is Before You Start Your Day) But yeah. Stay safe guys :) |-/

I woke up the next morning after getting home kind of late and got ready for work. I walked over to the café, getting stuck in the doorway as Mark had something wheeled in.  
  
“That’s it… a little more, more- stop! Right there! Perfect.” I heard his voice over all the equipment and movers as I walked around the commotion.  
  
“What’s going on?”  
  
“I figured we should find something new to play instead whatever indie music comes up on Pandora. Also, live entertainment can make for good business.” He smiled and pointed towards a brand new, gleaming piano.  
  
“Wow. It’s really beautiful.”  
  
“Yeah, I thought so too. If you know how to play, feel free to on your breaks.” He walked to the back and started taking inventory while I got behind the counter.  
  
“Whoa- when the fuck did that get here?” Brendon shouted from the doorway, pointing at the piano.  
  
“Just now, they were just finishing moving it in when I got here.”  
  
“It’s nice!” He put his apron on and started working.  
  
“Yeah.” I started working, my gaze falling to it whenever I had the chance.  


I went on my break early, a little after Patrick showed up. He also commented about the new piano, bringing my focus to it yet again. My fingers ghosted across the keys before I started playing a familiar tune I had written years ago. I sang along with it.  
  
_“Open the slits in your face and start your day_  
  
_You don't have much time to make your slits look just right_  
  
_I'm in your mind_  
  
_I'm singing_  
  
_I'm in your mind_  
  
_I'm singing la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, da._  
  
  
_Look in the mirror and ask your soul if you're alright_  
  
_Put out the glitter that your soul hides behind_  
  
_You're in my mind_  
  
_I'm singing_  
  
_You're in my mind_  
  
_I'm singing, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, da._  
  
  
_Nowhere were they holy_  
  
_Open up your eyes and see_  
  
_The clouds above will hold you_  
  
_The clouds above will sing_  
  
  
_And in your mind_  
  
_You're singing la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, la-da, da.”_ I looked up and noticed a small crowd gathered around, including Mark who was gaping. Most of the people watching left after I finished, some offering compliments or tips as they left.  
  
“I- wow. I knew you seemed like you were musical, but that was… wow.” Patrick came over beaming.  
  
“That was incredible! It didn’t even sound like you were out of practice at all.” He continued to smile.  
  
“Thanks.” I replied sheepishly. Mark set a small bag by me as per usual for the end of my shift.  
  
“Play any time you want, you’re really talented. And it brought in a lot of business!” I chuckled slightly before thanking him and leaving for home until my shift later.  


The next few days passed by like before until Friday rolled around. I was nervous all day about how it was going to go later tonight. I tidied up before leaving for work.  
  
**“Are you ready?”** Blurryface asked with no intent of kindness as I shrugged my floral kimono on.  
  
“Yeah.” I replied while my thoughts were screaming ' _‘NO!’_ He cackled.  
  
**“Sure you are.”** I continued to work, ignoring his unsettling singing in the background of my mind. I walked to work and slipped my apron on before getting behind the counter.  
  
“Hey Ty-dye! Ready for later! It’s gonna be so great! Even though I’m the only one getting wasted…” Brendon greeted while I cracked a smile at his latest nickname.  
  
“As long as you don’t wreck the place, everything should be fine.”  
  
“Yeah right.” I shook my head slightly, trying to block Blurryface out.  
  
“I’ll try not to! But that might take a little bit of distracting to do.” He winked before starting to make orders we had. Our shift continued with quiet banter and a brief conversation with Patrick, who started another book. This one was about someone named Charlie who was coping with the death of a friend, and wrote letters to someone to help lessen his anxiety. It was one of Pete’s favorite of the entire collection he said, but it was also obvious by the creases at the edges where the book had been gripped tightly and the wear on the spine. During my break I played a nice instrumental piece on the piano, urged to “Just play anything!” by Mark. Afterwards I went home and started getting ready for later tonight. Mark was closing shop early to come here, so I had to make sure it was worth him losing business over.  


**“They’re here.”** Blurryface interrupted our latest “punishment session” (on my thighs this time since they were coming over) right after a knock on the door. I quickly cleaned up and got to the door, slipping a few wristbands I had gotten while out shopping the other day on just to be sure. I opened the door to see Patrick outside.  
  
“Hey Tyler!”  
  
“Hey.” I put on my best smile and let him in. “You’re the first one here, so I’m just gonna finish up a few things.”  
  
“Alright. I can help if you’d like.” I walked behind the counter and nodded.  
  
"Sure. I’m just getting snacks ready, but you’re more than welcome to, if you want.”  
  
“Definitely! I love cooking.” He smiled his usual wide grin as he washed his hands and started helping prepare food. Another knock sounded a few minutes later. I rinsed my hands off and opened the door to see Mark with a pink box.  
  
“Hey! I’m not late, am I? I was picking up a special order from the bakery.” I forced a smile and let him in.  
  
“You’re not late. But Brendon is.” Patrick laughed slightly from the kitchen.  
  
“He’s going to be a few minutes. Usually is…” He came out from the kitchen with the platter of snacks we made before and set them on the coffee table, besides where Mark put the box.  
  
“So what should we do while we wait for him to get here?” I shrugged.  
  
“We can watch tv or something?” Mark chuckled.  
  
“Alright. He’ll probably provide all the entertainment after a few drinks anyways.” I laughed slightly, the first time in a while.  
  
“Probably. I wonder how he acts drunk if he’s already so crazy all the time.”  
  
“It’s hard to imagine, but even more so. It’s kinda funny. Patrick commented. “Ooh, let’s watch that!” He stopped me from channel surfing on a movie- Fight Club. I felt a lump form in my throat.  
  
“Okay.” I put the movie on and watched absently, while Mark and Patrick were very into it. I got up and opened the door when someone knocked, Brendon with a case of beer.  
  
“Hey! I got the beer!” He held the case up proudly and walked in. I followed and closed the door behind him.  
  
“Go ahead and set it on the table by the food.” He set the case down and sat on the couch.  
  
“Oh, Fight Club! Great movie!” I sat down on the end of the couch and nodded. We watched the rest of the movie while talking and eating, and then continued to watch other movies. We ended up taking the beer away from Brendon after he drank half of the 6-pack, being thoroughly wasted. We told jokes and enjoyed ourselves, slightly at the expense of Brendon who kept doing silly stuff. I even joined in on a few of them, smiling genuinely for the first time in months. At about 11, Mark left and Patrick left with Brendon, offering to drive him home. I made sure he took his beer with him since it’d go to waste here. I went to bed shortly after cleaning up, finding sleep easily- too easily.  


_The sun was low in the sky as the truck drove down the barren road, the desert heat stifling, even in the evening._  
  
_“Josh?”_  
  
_“Yeah, Ty?”_  
  
_“I love you.” He snorted._  
  
_“Love you too, baby.” He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb across the top while driving. I closed my eyes and relaxed with his touch and the cooling temperature. I almost fell asleep when I heard a horn from another car then a_ crunch- _feeling the blow to the driver’s side. We flipped and started rolling, Josh and I be tossed about. The whole world froze in a moment of zero-gravity as we rotated around, rocks and dead plants denting the sides and coming through the broken windows. I looked over to see my ukulele being held together by just one of the strings, its last hope snapping right in front of my horrified eyes. We slowed to a stop with the car resting on my side._  
  
_“Josh- Josh, are you okay!?” I croaked out. No answer. I looked to see his body collapsed on top of me, blood flowing from gashes across his arms and face, and a large piece of glass from the windshield stuck inside his forehead. I grew hysterical, shaking his limp figure. “Josh. Josh, wake up. You can’t sleep and drive. C’mon Josh, we’re almost to California. Josh! JOSH!” I started screaming while shaking him quicker, tears mixing with the blood all over me. People in black uniforms started to pull me out after cutting the car, pulling me away from Josh. “No- you can’t leave him. Josh! Don’t leave Josh!” They sat me down on a stretcher and started cleaning the cuts across my entire body. “No, I’m fine- help him!” I started struggling, trying to get back to Josh. They held me down while strapping me into the stretcher, their faces becoming clear- each one wearing a skeleton mask._  
  
**“We’re not leaving him. You left him. His blood is on you. You killed him.”** _One responded, their eyes glowing red. I cried silently, hiccupping occasionally during the ride to the hospital._  


I woke up completely drenched in sweat, my throat sore. I started sobbing while panting, the sound of Blurryface laughing over the repeating sound of the truck being hit from my ~~dream~~ nightmare.  
  
**“Sleep well?"** I whimpered while he continued to laugh at my expense. **“You should get up though, you have work.”** I sniffled and shook my head.  
  
“N-No, can’t. Not today.” He huffed.  
  
**“I’m trying to help you, Tyler. You need money to survive, don’t you?”** He sneered. I ignored him and called up Mark, slightly thankful for my crying to make me sound stuffed up.  
  
_“Hello?”_  
  
“Hey, Mark. I’m not feeling too well this morning.”  
  
_“I can tell, you sound pretty bad. Stay at home and get better, okay? I can bring some medicine by if you’d like later.”_  
  
“It’s fine I have some here. Thank you though.”  
  
_“No problem. See you tomorrow then, if you’re better. Alright?”_  
  
“Yeah, see you then.” I hung up and crawled into bed.  
  
**“Lying’s bad, Tyler. Bad things need to be punished.” **I ignored Blurryface whilst wallowing in self-loathing and pity.****  
  
“Not now…”  
  
**“Yes, _now_. I’m trying to help you break bad habits.”** I continued to ignore him, his voice becoming nothing more than a pesky buzz inside an ocean of thought. My thoughts went to Josh- what was he doing now? He was probably a lot happier than I could ever make him, maybe he found someone else. Or not- maybe he was travelling to his heart’s desire, quite possibly in another country.  
  
**“ _TYLER!_ Bathroom, _NOW!”_** Blurryface interrupted, making me jump back before doing his bidding. **“I will _not_ be ignored anymore. Ignoring people is rude, very rude. Understand?”** I nodded hastily before fulfilling this time’s ‘punishment.’  



	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments guys! They brighten my day so much when I read them, so I really appreciate it! I did get one for a POV change, so I added that to this chapter. I'm not saying who it is, but when you read it I'm sure you'll know ;)  
> (also the POV changes back and forth after this point I think so I'll let you know who it is by putting * around it and bold print)

***???***

I sighed before closing the car door. That could’ve definitely gone better, but it happened is all that mattered. I finally told them about everything- quitting school, my travels, him. The way his deep brown eyes lit up every time he smiled, or his incredible voice whenever he sang or so much as spoke. The way his touch was gentle, as if he was afraid, and felt as soft as flower petals. His insane amount of love despite all he had been put through- everything about him. Even his shadow screamed perfection. Of course they didn’t know I was gay, so that part put a bit of a clash in our opinions of him. I didn’t matter to me though- I was over 18, in fact I just turned 22, so they couldn’t tell me no. All they could tell me was what they thought, and that was it. Nothing else, because I’ve made my choice. I even found out where his mom worked, going there now. I opened the door to the office after fixing my jacket and adjusting my snapback. I walked over to the front and got the secretary’s attention.  
  
“Can I help you?” _Geez._ Someone doesn’t like their job. Exactly what I was afraid of happening to me.  
  
“Yeah, I scheduled a meeting earlier with Mrs. Joseph?” She sighed and went on her computer whilst snapping her gum.  
  
“Dun?”  
  
“Yeah, Josh.”  
  
“Sign in. I’ll let her know you’re here.” She called her up while I filled out the paper.  
  
“You can go now. Down the first hall to the left, first door on the right.” She answered before going back to whatever she had pulled up before that wasn’t work-related. I followed her directions and knocked on the looming door in front of me, ‘Kelley Joseph’ etched on it.  
  
“Come in.” A much kinder voice replied from inside. I nervously entered to see a woman in her forties with blonde hair typing away on her computer. “Go ahead and have a seat, I’m just finishing something up real quick.” I nodded and sat in front of her desk, crossing one leg over the other.  
  
“You must be Josh, right?”  
  
"Yeah. We talked on the phone before.” She smiled, the creases around her eyes from many happy days becoming more pronounced.  
  
“I remember you! Tyler sounded so happy talking about you. So where is he?” My face dropped and my nerves kicked in.  
  
“He-um, h-he doesn’t know I’m here. He’s in California.” Her gaze hardened. “I-I wanted to surprise him, cause we got in a fight, a-and I left and I messed up- I messed up big time leaving him like that. God, that was like… almost a year now.” I felt guilt seep inside of me.  
  
“I see. Are you going back after this though?”  
  
“Yeah! Absolutely, yes! I need to make up for what I did, obviously, and I needed to talk to my parents. He made some really good points in one of our arguments, a-and he was right. So I wanted to fix it here first.”  
  
“And you couldn’t tell him?” She raised her eyebrow.  
  
“Well- I mean… I decided that two months after I left, when I had made it to Hawaii. It took me about three or four more months after that to get the money to come back, and then the rest of that time was spent traveling to here, stopping in the occasional city to work some odd job to make more money so I could have enough.” Her gaze remained upset, but softened.  
  
“You really do love him, don’t you?”  
  
“With all my heart.” I locked eyes with her, my nerves being put aside to show I was serious.  
  
“I know he loves you. I could tell from how he sounded talking about you.” She smiled before writing a note down. “I wish you the best of luck getting back to California, Josh. Make sure you get back soon, and keep my baby safe when I can’t?” I looked down at the note to see it was a check- for $3,000. My eyes widened.  
  
“Of course! Yes, I will- thank you so much, Mrs. Joseph, I-I don’t know what to say!” She chuckled.  
  
“Flip it over, there’s more on the back. But not now- you need to get going.”  
  
“Right- thank you!” I practically ran out of her office, jumping for joy. Everything was finally going to be okay! After a year of emptiness and half of it filled with constant hangovers, it was finally going to be right again. I just hoped Tyler hadn’t moved on without me yet.  
  
***Tyler***

I sighed and crawled in my bed after getting home from my last shift of work. I grabbed Josh’s shirt off my nightstand and cradled it against my chest. Today was officially one year since Josh let me.  
  
**“Happy anniversary.”** Blurryface sickeningly mocked. **“So when’s the party? People tend to have those for special occasions, you know.”**  
  
“N-No pa-arty…” I choked out between sobs.  
  
**“Hm. You’re really no fun. It’s your party you know. Cry if you want, I’m celebrating.”** I ignored him and continued to cry into the shirt, remembering everything about Josh I could, even the little details that would usually go overlooked. My mind settled on his hair, remembering the one time we- I dyed it bright red, and it looked stunning. Especially under sunlight, it shined like rubies. I shakily pulled out my notebook and started writing, trying to distract myself from the pain.  
  
_Ruby I hope I see you, I've waited all this week._  
_For you to walk my way, your soul will capture me._  
_Your momma painted your room a shade of pink, she said._  
_But with your great arrival that shade has turned to red._  
_Ruby take my hand, please lead me to the Promised Land. Tell me, where am I from, your eyes say, "Shada de da dum."_  
_Ruby, you're royalty, in your home land, they all call you "King"_  
_Tell me, where are you from, your eyes say, "Shada de da dum."_  
_You're an angel fallen down, won't you tell us of the clouds_  
_You have fallen from the sky. How high? How high?_  
_You're true and pure_  
_You hold the cure_  
_We're all diseased_  
_You hold the key._  
_You're an angel fallen down, won't you tell us of the clouds_  
_You have fallen from the sky. How high? How high?_  
_Tell our dad, "I'm sorry."_  
_You're an angel_  
_Tell our dad, ‘I'm sorry.’_  
_You're an angel”_  
  
**“How sweet. You wrote a song about him.”** Blurryface commented sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and laid in bed, trying to sleep but afraid to because of the nightmares. They’ve been happening more frequently since the one I had the other day, and were all brutal.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Tyler writes in this chapter is Ruby in case no one knew. Fun fact it's one of my favorite Twenty One Pilots songs


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shorter, but just wait for it, this is going to really pick up

***Tyler***   


I woke after restlessly sleeping the past few days away. I was able to stay home from work for up to a week is what Mark said, so I needed to get back soon or I could possibly get fired. I sighed and pulled on the closest clothes to me- Josh’s old t-shirt and black skinny jeans. I made my hair look neat before going to work, only working my second shift today.  
  
“Hey! Nice to see you’re feeling a little better.” Mark smiled from where he had taken my place behind the counter.  
  
“Yeah, I think I’m mostly over it now.”  
  
“TYYYY!” Brendon shouted and attacked me in a bear-hug.  
  
“He missed you too.” Mark chuckled before going back to his office. I hugged back hesitantly, slowly remembering how to act alive again.  
  
“Where were you!? Even Patrick asked about you, a lot- you two don’t have ‘a thing’ going on, do you?” He wiggled his eyebrows after letting go.  
  
“No, we’re just friends. I do like him, but not in that way.” He nodded and shrugged.  
  
“Fair enough. If you do end up having a thing though…” He winked, my face burning as I started working. I worked through the entire shift, not taking a break until the end. I needed the distraction, with Blurryface in the back of my head and it being a full year since Josh. I started coming to grips that maybe he wasn’t coming back, and I had to move on. I definitely wasn’t ready to start dating again, but maybe I could look? I went home after my shift, with a bag of scones and a green tea with honey and lemon.  
  
“Old family secret. It helps, I promise!” Mark smiled when handing me the cup as I walked out.  
  
“Thanks. See you in the morning.” I forced a smile as I took a sip to brace myself for the chilly night air. I walked out into the dark street and continued home, crawling into bed after taking my pants off and laying there for hours.  
  
***Josh***

I huffed and laid down on the bed in the room I got for the night. It was the same room we stayed at before, the first time we shared a bed together. I grinned to myself from the memory, waking up with him right beside me in the middle of the night, his head resting in my chest. My smile soon faded after and returned to the aching loneliness I’ve been feeling. I messed up really bad this time, and there was no way of trying to get out of saying it- this was all my fault. I ran a hand through my tangled blue hair (I couldn’t stand to see the red after I left- I reminded me of him) before falling asleep without a single dream. Just the empty void that gnawed at my heart since I left. I always wondered what it would be like to find love, but I never imagined how much it hurt to mess it up.  
  
I woke early the next morning and packed before heading on the road again. I drove as much as I could in one day, not stopping for a single minute. I made it from Indiana to Illinois, almost Missouri, in the same amount of time it took us to get through Indiana before. I sighed in the silence caused by lost radio signal. I missed his playing, the way he would close his eyes and his delicate fingers would move across his ukulele from memory, how his voice sounded sweet and rich, shaking at some parts of the different songs he wrote, how he would sway back and forth or bob his head to a beat he was thinking up in the background. I sighed dreamily, imagining what it would be like to hold him while he sings, swaying along to a distant tune while my hands rested on his hips and our feet shuffling together. I turned my focus back to the road and continued my journey with newfound vigor- I was going to make up for what I did and have that dance with him if it’s the last thing I do.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man if you guys hate me now for any reason, just wait


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter today, sorry. Worst part is it's kinda short, but you can thank my AP Euro teacher for giving the class a crudton of homework over the weekend for this -.- I should definitely have better tomorrow though be patient please!

***Josh***  


I drove continuously for the next few days, only ever stopping at convenience stores for coffee and snacks or to get more gas. I made it to LA in 5 days. The problem would be finding him now, since he’s probably moved out of that condo by now. I pulled over somewhere in the middle of the day and caught up on sleep- I didn’t want to look like a zombie when I found him. I slept for a few hours and then continued in the city. My searches proved fruitless, so I decided to stop for a minute and see if anyone knew him. The first place I stopped at was a small café down the road from our old place.  
  
“What can I get for you today?” An enthusiastic barista- “Brendon”, asked.  
  
“Just a black coffee, please.” He wrote the order on the cup before shouting to no one in particular.  
  
“Ooh, we got a badass in the house! One black coffee for- wait, what was the name on that?”  
  
“Josh.” I cracked a smile.  
  
“A black coffee for Josh the badass!” Someone poked their head out from the back.  
  
“Shut the hell up Brendon! You’re gonna scare someone away.” I chuckled while he rolled his eyes. He came over with my order.  
  
“Sorry about him, he’s such a stiff.”  
  
“It’s fine. Do you know a lot of people in this area?” He smiled.  
  
“I do go to enough parties to know a few. Why? Need someone to hook up with? Or some drugs? Or-“  
  
“No, I just need to see if you know someone. I’ve been looking for him all over town, and haven’t found him yet.” His eyes smiled, but less jokingly.  
  
“Aw, is he your boyfriend?”  
  
“Yeah- or, he was.” I swallowed hard. “We kind of fought, and I need to find him. His name’s Tyler, Tyler Joseph.” He looked quizzically before shouting to the guy in the back.  
  
“Mark! What’s Tyler’s last name?”  
  
“Joseph, why?” He yelled back. Brendon’s eyes widened while he started giggling excitedly.  
  
“Dude, he fucking works here! You just missed his first shift, but he’ll back at 6 for the evening shift. Maybe he might perform too, lots of people come at night to see him play.” He glanced wistfully towards a piano before getting back to work. My eyes widened- he was here? I shouted in excitement before sitting at one of the tables. I decided to wait for him and hope he would listen to me.  


I waited until the shop closed at 11, no Tyler. Mark- the guy from the back- came out and shot me a sympathetic look.  
  
“He’s been sick the past week, so maybe he started feeling out of it again. I can give you his address, if you’d like to visit him there.”  
  
“Yes! Please- I’d be so grateful if you did, you have no idea how much that would mean.” He chuckled before handing me a post- it note with an apartment on it, patting my shoulder before leaving the storefront.  
  
“Go get him, 'badass'.” I practically ran to the address (it was so close!), stopping only to pick up flowers. It might’ve seemed cheesy, but I know how much he’d loved these- light pink roses with some of a yellow-white color. I sprinted to the apartment and knocked, ready for my big moment.  
  
***Tyler***  


I sat on my couch, staring vacantly at the TV screen, different colors flashing across it from whatever show was on. I sat there for a few hours, fighting with my dark counterpart.  
  
**“Just end it.”**  
  
“No…”  
  
**“Why? Your family kicked you out, Josh left you, you have no one. Just end it.”**  
  
“But I have Mark, and Brendon, and Patrick.” He scoffed.  
  
**“All the more reason to kill yourself. You’re burdening them.”**  
  
“But-“  
  
**“Just listen to-“** He was cut off by a knock on the door. I blinked back tears and sat up, throwing a jacket over my slashed arms and trudging to the door. Outside was someone holding a bouquet of roses. His hair was blue, and eyes hopeful. His eyes all too familiar, I had spent hours staring in them before, and I’ve seen them more recently in my dreams as lifeless orbs that paled in comparison to the man standing in front of me.  
  
_“Josh.”_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHOOPS


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter doesn't change POV from the last, so it's still Tyler. I'm gonna keep changing the POV though since I like writing from Josh's perspective too lol

My jaw dropped when he offered me the flowers.  
  
“Josh, w-what are you…” My voice trailed off, not sure of what I was asking. But why was he here? He left!  
  
**“Exactly. He doesn’t really want you he’s adding insult to injury. Slam the door in his face.** ”  
  
“Hey, Tyler…” He smiled awkwardly. “Can I come in?”  
  
**“No, don’t let him in. He’ll stop you from doing it.”** I ignored Blurryface and opened the door, inviting Josh in wordlessly with wide eyes. I swallowed nervously and sat beside him on the couch. He handed me the roses, filled with pastel pinks and ivories. I held onto the bouquet, staring at him wide- eyed. His bloodshot eyes met mine, the spark that we had felt before still there, but buried under sadness.  
  
“Long time no see, huh?” He chuckled.  
  
“W-Why are you here? You left, for a year.” He sighed.  
  
“I know, and it was the worst mistake of my life. I got mad over something so small and let it affect me too much. I should’ve just talked to you, like you did with me. But, I’m stubborn, and that’s definitely going to- it already has- messed me up.” He looked down at his shoes. I noticed a tear streaming down his cheek.  
  
“What do you mean ‘it messed you up’?” He didn’t look up.  
  
“I-I went as far away as possible without a passport- I went to Hawaii. I thought there I’d be away from everyone, and I’d be okay. But it wasn’t, nothing was okay during that time. The guilt of lying to my parents- running from my problems, as you put it- and leaving you just because I was afraid, i-it ate me alive. I did some bad things to escape it, none of which I’m proud of. So after a while of wallowing in misery, I cleaned up and got a job. I made enough money to get back to the mainland, got my truck and went home.”  
  
“Home?” He nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I talked to my family. Told them everything. Of course they weren’t happy, especially my mom, but they couldn’t really tell me not to do anything because I’m an adult. So after that I talked to your mom-“  
  
“My mom?” I felt guilt wash over me. What would she think if she found out her son had become a ghos tof what he was- completely controlled by something he’d only ever seen in his sleep?  
  
“Yeah, I talked to her in person about us. She was upset to find out about what I did, which I don’t blame her for, but then after explaining she gave me her blessing.” He smiled weakly.  
  
**“He’s lying, he just wants to use you again.”** Blurryface added, giving me doubts in Josh. Everything he said, it sounded true and even looked true, but I didn’t know what to do.  
  
“I-I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I’m ready to try… _us _again, but we can be friends. You can stay here.” He hugged me tightly.__  
  
“That’s enough for me for now. I completely understand why you don’t feel ready, and I don’t blame you. Thank you.” He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and smiled. I smiled weakly, the movement in my facial muscles feeling like a weird contortion after not genuinely smiling in so long. I set the flowers on the counter before sitting back down on the couch. He looked over at me with wide eyes.  
  
“That’s one of my shirts.” I looked down at it and held onto the fabric self- consciously, balling the ends of my jacket sleeves into my fists.  
  
“Y-Yeah. You left it, so I’ve had it.” He smiled with sad eyes.  
  
“And you still wear it?” I tugged at the hem, feeling exposed.  
  
"Only on bad days…” He walked over and wrapped his arms around me.  
  
“You’ve worn it a lot then haven’t you?” I nodded, trying to hold back tears. He let go and sat down on the couch. I sat down beside him curling into the couch. This wasn’t happening- not how I thought at least. I thought if he came back, I’d be swept off my feet and overjoyed. Not a different sad- one that didn’t feel like a dull knife that cut into me while I bled to mind-numbing emptiness, but one that fell thick, like water filling my lungs while ocean waves crashed overhead and moved me like I didn’t weigh a thing. He scooted closer as I fell asleep, the last thing I remember feeling the couch dip from his weight beside me.  


I woke up in the middle of the night from another nightmare- this time being drowned in a bathtub of Josh’s blood after Blurryface mutilated him right in front of me- and cried. I looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings through teary eyes slowly remembering I fell asleep on the couch. I sat up and wiped my eyes.  
  
**“The roof. Go to the roof.”** Blurryface demanded as I stood up, walking to the staircase to the top of the building. The climb was relatively quick, the door to the roof already open. I walked out towards the ledge, assuming that I’d be the only one up here. Only I was wrong- Josh leaned on the edge, staring out at the LA skyline. He looked over when he heard me and smiled.  
  
“Hey. Couldn’t sleep either?” I shook my head and sat down on the ledge, curling my legs into my chest. “Careful, Tyler.” He placed a hand on my shoulder, balancing me while I got comfortable. I stared out at the street below, watching anyone who was still up bustle like ants to their homes, returning to their safety for shelter away from the night.  
  
**“Get away from him! You’re not his anymore you’re _mine_.”** Blurryface raged. I shook my head, muttering a soft ‘no' to myself.  
  
“You alright?” Josh asked, tightening his hold on my shoulder. I started growing dizzy my vision blurring and fading in and out.  
  
“Ha-Has there always been two of you, Jo-Josh?” I started panicking, leaning over toward the edge as I lost balance- hearing one last thing before darkness surrounded me.  
  
**“ _Mine_. And only mine.”**  



	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna take a minute to thank you guys for all your comments. They're all so nice and positive and it always makes my day to read them. And I have shitty days so whether you're aware of it or not, you guys make me feel better. So thank you so much it means a lot <3 
> 
> Now enough of that mush, time to get some angsty fluff put in here to make up for the last two being kinda cliffhangers!

***Josh***   


“Ty!” I grabbed onto him as he slumped over, catching him before he fell. What was happening? I knew he’d be a little overwhelmed to see me, but this was crossing the line for overwhelmed. I grabbed onto his limp figure before running down the stairs to his apartment. He was lighter than I remember- way lighter. I laid him on the couch, noticing his shirt tucked up. I gasped when I took another look after glancing over- his golden skin from before now was sickly pale, his ribs showing prominently.  
  
“Oh Ty…” My voice cracked. This was because of me wasn’t it? I did this to him. I felt myself spiral back into my guilt, stopping when I saw Tyler’s chest rising and falling gently. He was still here- he was still alive, that’s what mattered. Whatever he had been through before, we could work out. I was going to fix this, starting now. He stirred in his sleep, wrapping himself around me. I smiled weakly and grabbed his hand. He started waking up, jumping away from me quickly.  
  
“N-No! Stay away!” His eyes were wide with fear, his breathing. He looked around and started calming down, stopping when he made eye contact with me. He looked panicked- terrified, and started crying softly. “S-Sorry, Josh. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He slurred. I moved closer and hesitantly wrapped my arm around him.  
  
“That’s not what scared me. What did was you almost falling off the roof.” His eyes widened.  
  
“I-I did? But he-“ He stopped abruptly.  
  
“’He’?” He shook his head quickly. I didn’t push him to talk about it, rubbing circles on his back while cried. “Breathe with me okay? In… out.” I continued, his crying gradually stopping with the sound of his breaths slowing. “There. You’re okay. I caught you before anything happened.” He nodded weakly.  
  
“I’m okay.”  
  
“You’re okay.” I smiled. He rested his head on my shoulder, falling back to a more restful sleep. I situated myself to a more comfortable position, carefully moving Tyler to rest beside me, his head instinctively resting on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair, whispering in his hear before falling asleep.  
  
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere this time, I promise.”  


I woke up groggy the next morning, stretching while sitting up, finding myself on the couch still. I looked around and found a note on the small table by me. _Josh-_  
_Went to work. Feel free to drop by, but I’ll be back around noon._   
Tyler’s messy penmanship was scrawled across, bringing a small smile to my face. I went out to my truck and grabbed my suitcase, setting it aside somewhere hidden in case he had people over. He never struck me as the type for that, but you never know. I grabbed a change of clothes and some bathroom essentials before going to shower. After, I sat on the couch and decided to go visit him just before his shift ended. When I went over, I was greeted by the beautiful melody of a piano, a lilting voice accompanying as I caught the end.  
  
“Take me out, and finish this waste of a life. Everyone gather around for a show, watch as this man disappears as we know. Do me a favor and try to ignore when you watch him fall through a bleeding trapdoor. Cause nobody knows he's alive.” I smiled and joined the applause from the small crowd. The pianist- Tyler- looked down at the ivory keys sheepishly.  
  
“Thanks, you’re all too kind.” The crowd slowly trickled out, giving me a clear path to him.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Hey. Were you here for that?”  
  
“I just caught the end, but yeah. That was really beautiful.” I smiled, the haunting lyrics swirling in my head. I decided I’d ask later, but for now he seemed happy. And that’s what I wanted above anything. He blushed.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“Do you still play the ukulele?” He looked down at his shoes and shook his head.  
  
“I don’t think I remember how- it’s been so long.” I gently lifted his chin up.  
  
“Come on. You said you get off work now? Let’s find a music store. I promised I’d play drums for you if you played piano, and you filled your end of the bargain. So it’s my turn.” He nodded, stopping when someone walked up. He was short, cardigan-clad with a fedora to top it off.  
  
“That was a new one. I liked it, Tyler!” He smiled.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“No problem. Who’s this?” He smiled towards me.  
  
“This is my… friend, Josh.” My heart sank at the absence of the ‘boy’ that should be in front of there, but I smiled through it.  
  
“Hey.” I shook his outstretched hand.  
  
“Hey Josh. Nice to meet you.” The barista from yesterday came running up and tackled all three of us.  
  
“My squad! Basketball, badass, and Patty-Pat!” Fedora guy rolled his eyes.  
  
“My actual name’s Patrick, please don’t call me ‘Patty-Pat’.” He looked towards me with pleading eyes.  
  
“I promise I won’t.” He silently thanked me before working his way out of Brendon’s grip.  
  
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, Josh!”  
  
“Same here. See you around, Patrick!” I wanted to be jealous when he first came up to Tyler, but he was so _likeable_. Not to mention he was probably here for Tyler while I wasn’t. I thanked him mentally while trying to find a way out of Brendon’s hug while he went on about “squad goals.” Tyler chuckled at my failed attempts before pinching somewhere by his armpit. Brendon yelped and jumped back.  
  
“The fuck was that!?” Tyler chuckled again.  
  
“Don’t get drunk around us, we’ll find out some interesting things.” Brendon glared playfully while rubbing at the sensitive spot. Mark came out of his office and rolled his eyes before setting a small beside Tyler.  
  
“Get to work Brendon, it’s not that bad. And I packed extra in there so there’s enough for both of you.” He smiled before walking away, Brendon following while grumbling in annoyance.  
  
“So should we go home?” He nodded and got up. I grabbed the bag and followed him out. We walked back to the apartment and dropped the bag off before walking into town, walking around in search of a music store.  
  
“You know we could google this and not walk around lost, right?” I chuckled.  
  
“Yeah, but I haven’t seen LA before. You have because you live here. So I want to get a look around here.” He nodded and followed me as we wandered for a while. After about half an hour we found a Guitar Center. We walked in and started looking around for a while, the drum set set up catching my eye.  
  
“Go ahead and try her out if you want.” A bored employee smiled while standing behind the counter. I nodded and thanked him before sitting behind the drum set with a set of sticks. Tyler glanced over from the acoustics room and walked out, a small smile playing on his lips.  
  
“Are you finally going to show me how good of a drummer you are?” I nodded and started. I looked over to see if he was still listening and continued, pounding all of the negative feelings I’ve been holding onto for so long into the drums. After a few seconds of getting warmed up I started a new beat that felt familiar, but from a long time ago. Tyler’s eyes widened as he started humming a melody. We continued for a while until I started getting tired and finished.  
  
“So what’d you think?” I asked nervously. He looked completely awestruck, with a huge grin mixed in there.  
  
"You remembered the beat…” I smiled, knowing exactly what he was talking about. What he didn’t know is I saw the finished version of that song- “Holding Onto You” he called it, and thought about it constantly.  
  
“Well it’s our hearts that make the beat, isn’t it?” His jaw dropped as he nodded.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“We should probably head back, before it gets dark.” He followed me out of the store, walking beside me while we found our way back. He checked the time on his phone and sighed.  
  
“I think I have to call in for tonight.” I chuckled slightly.  
  
“I’m sure he’ll understand. Mark, right? He’s the one who gave me your address.” He nodded, shifting closer.  
  
“This is really hard.” I wrapped my arm around him.  
  
“I know. We’ll get through it though, I promise.” I looked over at him and smiled, his rosy lips as inviting as ever. I resisted the urge and continued walking back with him.  



	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story: My AP Euro teacher assigned us an essay over this weekend that's due tomorrow I only heard about half an hour ago. So naturally I got pissed and ranted to my friend and ranted about how I was going to write him an angry sonnet, and she bet me I couldn't, and I don't like being doubted (that's how the first smut I ever wrote came into being). So naturally I took her on and now I have an angry sonnet I'm turning in instead of an essay. Let's hope my teacher thinks it's funny and gives me at least a D because iambic pentameter is actually kinda hard to write in
> 
> (this is still in Josh's POV also in case anyone wasn't sure. I'll let you know when it changes back to Tyler though)

When we got back, he sat down on the couch and curled up, staring at the wall absently. His gaze was hollow, like he was a shell. I sat down beside him, his head resting down in my lap. I started running my fingers through his hair. “Hey Tyler?” He looked up at me.  
  
“Yeah?  
  
"Who were you singing about earlier? In your song- the man who fell through a ‘trapdoor’.” He looked back towards the wall sadly.  
  
“I don’t know, me I guess.”  
  
“That seemed pretty dark, Ty.” I saw a weak smile pass for a moment from the nickname.  
  
“I guess I’m just a pretty dark guy.” He shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
“Have you written anything else?” He nodded. “Do you- can I see them?” He laid there a minute before pulling a notebook out from in between the cushions. It was ragged- the cover creased, the spiral spine bent, the edges of some pages marked up. There were a few pages with the corners folded over after he went through it and handed it to me.  
  
“Only read the marked ones- they’re the ones that are done.” I nodded and flipped through. His material was all like the last song, different messages about various topics that were very bleak. One caught my eye though, since it sounded like it was written about someone rather than something.  
  
“Take my hand, please lead me to the Promised Land. Tell me, where am I from, your eyes say, ‘Shada de da dum.’” I smiled slightly, seeing him turn crimson. “So who’d you write this one about?” He turned redder.  
  
“Y-You. I wrote it on what would’ve been our one-year anniversary.” My smile faltered. I saw the worry in his eyes, how vulnerable he seemed, and wrapped my arms around him.  
  
“I love it. Thank you. It’s too bad I couldn’t give you that great of an anniversary present.” He moved into my embrace.  
  
“But you did. You came back.” He wiped a tear I hadn’t noticed and smiled weakly. I looked down at his lips, all of the comforts of home I’ve ever needed right there in their soft pink. I shook myself out of my daze- _we’re just friends again_ \- and continued reading. “I’m gonna go take a bath.” He got up and walked towards the bathroom while I scoffed.   
  
“A bath?”  
  
“What? They’re relaxing.” He pouted. I chuckled.  
  
“Alright then. Go take a bath.” He walked off while I finished reading the last of the marked pages, slipping his notebook back when I was done. I looked at the frayed pages and noticed different marks than pen ink. _Blood?_ My stomach churned as I ran from the bathroom, the door thankfully unlocked.  
  
“Ty!” He looked up at me from the tub, bright red.  
  
“J-Josh! You can’t just barge in!” He squirmed. I couldn’t let him know about that, he wouldn’t trust me after, I knew that much. So I just chuckled.  
  
“Really? I’ve seen you naked before. A few times, actually.” I smirked as he turned redder.  
  
“Y-Yeah, but this is different. It’s weird.” I rolled my eyes.  
  
“It’s not weird, Ty.”  
  
“Yes, Josh, it is weird. It’s weird because you’re standing here staring holes into me while I’m sitting naked in a bathtub.” I laughed, trying to hide my blush. I thought I wasn’t that obvious!  
  
“It’s not- you know what? I’ll prove to you how not-weird this is by joining you.” I started undressing, placing my shirt on the counter before undoing my belt. I glanced over at his bright red face, smirking taking my pants off, swaying my hips slightly.  
  
“J-Josh, what’re you-?” He asked sheepishly while I slid my boxers off.  
  
“Making sure I don’t get my clothes off when I take a bath with you?” I slid over beside him in the tub, some water going over the edge. He stared at me doe-eyed, my hungry eyes gazing back. “Hi.” I smiled awkwardly.  
  
“Hey.” He answered, his gaze moving down my body. “Y-You’ve been keeping in shape.” I chuckled.  
  
“Yeah. I had to, lots of the jobs I got traveling involved lots of heavy lifting.”  
  
“Jobs? I thought you didn’t want to stop anywhere.” I stared down at the bubbly water, that familiar pang of guilt working its way back into me.  
  
“I might’ve blown most my money in Hawaii. So I worked a lot to make some more while traveling in different places.” He nodded.  
  
“What, too many pineapples?” He joked. Well, some places did serve mixed drinks in hollowed- out ones.  
  
“You could say that.” He nodded, not pressing the issue. He shifted closer carefully, trying not to spill more water, and wrapped himself around me.  
  
“I missed you.” I leaned into his touch.  
  
“I missed you too.” We laid there for a while, talking about anything random until we decided to get out and make dinner. I looked through his fridge to see more bags of pastries, a jar of peanut butter, and a carton of milk.  
  
“I see your cooking skills have improved.” I commented sarcastically while laughing. He chucked a throw pillow at me from where he sat on the couch. “Hey!”  
  
“Are my throwing skills better too?” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the pillow and threw it back, hitting him in the shoulder. “Ow- it’s on now!” He grabbed as many pillows as possible and starting throwing them at me. I dropped to the floor and crawled to the couch, grabbing a cushion. I stood up and smacked him playfully with it. He reached over and grabbed another stopping my next hit with it.  
  
“Hey! Cheater!" I pouted.  
  
“What? I’m not cheating-“ He smacked me with the cushion before getting on top of me, pinning me down with his hands on my shoulders. “-I’m winning.” I swallowed hard (not the only thing that was hard) while my face flushed. He laughed and got off me and started picking up pillows. “Let’s get Taco Bell.” I nodded and helped finish cleaning up, _totally not turned on by what happened a few minutes ago at all._  



	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to skip this if you want cause it's basically just them eating taco bell and then doing the do. But hey they're in a relationship again, that's totally confirmed now!

***Tyler***  
One trip to Taco Bell later, we were sitting on the couch watching a random movie while eating. Josh kept moving closer gradually, his sneaky movements much more noticeable whenever he’d jump back from loud noises or different scenes. I chuckled and wrapped my arm around him. He looked over at me, sauce dripping down his chin.  
  
“You’ve got something on your chin.” I held back giggles, immediately stopping as he locked eyes with me while licking it off.  
  
“Better?” I nodded, well aware that my voice might crack if I talked.  
  
“Thanks, Ty.” He smiled, a slight smirk glinting in his eyes as he turned back to the screen. We continued eating in silence. My eyes were glued to him as he continued eating, his Adam’s apple bobbing each time he swallowed, licking around his lips every time sour cream or hot sauce would come out of the shell when he took a bite. I was completely mesmerized watching him, feeling just as enamored (and hard) as I used to around him. He looked over at me for a moment, blushing.  
  
“Do I have something else on my face? I’m really not that messy, I-“ He choked on air as I dragged my tongue across my cheek. My tongue was tickled by the tiny hairs of his stubble as I licked sour cream off.  
  
“Not anymore. You’re growing a beard.” He started moving closer, his eyes darkened with lust.  
  
“Uh-huh. I forgot to shave this morning.”  
  
“I like it. I think you should keep it, Joshie.” I purred, his eyes widening as I smirked. “Are you going to keep staring, or do I need to fix this in the bathroom?” I asked impatiently, starting to slide out from under him. He moved on top of me, pinning me down with his hips.  
  
“Nuh-uh.” He leaned in closer, slowly kissing. I kissed back quickly, annoyed by his slow pace. He smirked against my lips while pulling my shirt off.  
  
“Impatient, are we? Some things don’t change in a year, do they?” He pulled my shirt off, the difference in temperature sending shivers down my spine. He smirked and kissed down my neck before licking the crook and slowly dragging his tongue down my torso, stopping at my belly button.  
  
“Yeah, like how you’re a little- tease.” I broke into a moan as he bit down, nipping at anywhere he could. He slowly moved back to my lips, smiling against them.  
  
“Don’t expect me to go fast. I just got my baby boy back, and I’m going to admire every little thing about him.” He lifted me off the couch and wrapped my legs around him, his hands gripping tightly around my thighs. “Every kiss, every mark, and every moan. They’re all mine now, because you’re my Tyler.” I nodded, very aroused as he moved on top of me after putting me on the bed. I bucked my hips up, rubbing our crotches together. He groaned, his grip on my arms tightening. “Lose the pants. Now.” I took my pants and boxers off in one movement, throwing them across the room. I started on his, but he pinned my hands to my sides.  
  
“Josh!” I whined. He placed a finger to my lips, shushing me.  
  
“You want to get fucked, don’t you?” I nodded. “Want me inside of you, making you come?” Another nod and his grip tightening. “Then these stay out of it. Agreed?” He moved my hands over my head before tying them together with his belt. He smirked and took his pants off, tossing them aside before kissing my neck again.  
  
“Fuck Josh-“ I moaned loudly. He smirked.  
  
“Roll over.” I complied, gasping slightly when he smothered me with a pillow. “We don’t want the neighbors to hear us, do we?” I shook my head, moaning into the pillow as he forced my legs apart. “Where do you keep condoms and lube?” I gestured towards the bedside table with my hands. He grabbed each and started prepping himself, leaving me in anticipation. I screamed into the pillow as he thrusted into me without any kind of prep.  
  
“M-Move…” I whined. He shoved my face back into the pillow before shaking his head.  
  
“Bad boys get nothing. Remember?” I nodded. “Good.” He pulled out and thrusted back into me, making me moan louder with each time as he continued.  
  
“J-Josh!” I yelled unclearly into the pillow as he hit that special spot. He moaned as he continued.  
  
“God, Tyler, you’re so tight.” He started moving quicker, biting into the crook of my neck. I whined when he slowed down, barely moving now. “You gonna come?” I nodded. He pulled the pillow away and smirked. “Then tell me- who makes you feel like this? Who’s the only one who makes you feel this good?”  
  
“Y-You.” He stopped moving.  
  
“Not good enough, Ty. Who makes you scream and moan?”  
  
“You, Josh.” He started thrusting again, moving slowly.  
  
“Good boy. So who makes you feel good?”  
  
“J-Josh.” I moaned as he moved faster.  
  
“Who’s making you come?”  
  
“Jo-osh-“ I moaned louder as he thrusted harder. He moved in close, his uneven breaths ticking my neck.  
  
“Who do you belong to?” He bit into my neck.  
  
“JOSH!” I screamed as I came all over. Josh sucked a deep purple mark where he had bitten swirling his tongue across it. He moaned brokenly as he came after, pulling out once he had finished. He laid down beside me, panting as he took the used condom off and tossed it aside.  
  
“I missed that so much, baby.” I moved closer to him after awkwardly rolling onto my back.  
  
“Me too. Do you think you could untie this now? I’d like to spoon you.” He chuckled before untying his belt and throwing it across the room. “Thanks.” I wrapped my arms around him, stifling a yawn.  
  
“So does this mean we’re… dating again?” I snorted and rolled my eyes.  
  
“Really? We just did _that,_ and you’re still unsure?” He kissed my forehead, beaming.  
  
“Just wanted to be sure.” I smiled back resting my head on his chest.  
  
“I love you so much, Josh.”  
  
“I love you too, baby. More than you can imagine.”  



	35. Chapter 35

I woke up the next morning with Josh curled up beside me. I breathed a sigh of relief that I didn’t have a nightmare for the first time in a while. I kissed his cheek before sliding out of bed and getting ready for work. He walked into the front room just as I was writing him a note.  
  
“Where are you going, baby?” He slurred sleepily mid-yawn. I giggled and pecked his lips.  
  
“Work. I need to be able to pay for this place.” He nodded.  
  
“I’ll come in about 11 so I can hear you play.” I smiled.  
  
“Alright. I’ll have a black coffee waiting, so you better be there.” He giggled and smiled.  
  
“Promise I won’t be a no-show.” I smiled and walked out into the brisk morning air, pulling my sweater close. I was amazed Josh managed to miss the red marks across my arms last night but I figured it was because he was “distracted”, and thanked whatever force controlled everything for that. I didn’t want him to find out and worry about it.  
  
“Hey Tyler!” Mark greeted as I walked in. I waved and put my apron on before walking behind the counter. Brendon came in through the back door.  
  
“What’s up Ty- oh my God, is that what I think it is?!” He ran over, looking like a kid who just walked into a candy shop.  
  
“W-What’s what?” I asked nervously. He moved closer and examined my neck.  
  
“It is! Oh my god Tyler, you have a hickey!” I blushed bright red.  
  
“N-No, I-“ He started laughing as I tried to cover it.  
  
“Yes it is! Damn Tyler, getting it on with Josh so soon after he came back?” I stayed quiet and started working, ignoring his question entirely. “Your silence is a definite yes!” He giggled uncontrollably until Mark told him to stop it and at least attempt to do his job. Patrick came in at his usual time of 10:30.  
  
“Morning Patrick. Your usual?”  
  
“Yes please.” He smiled and looked up from his book to pay. “What’s that on your neck?” Brendon started giggling uncontrollably as he started making the tea while my face flushed yet again.  
  
“Tyler’s been busy, let’s just say.” Patrick laughed slightly, blushing.  
  
“I see. I’m glad you and Josh have… worked things out.” He smiled before leaving a tip and sitting down at a booth. I brought him his drink and continued with the morning rush, my neck thankfully being left out of any small talk. Near the end of my shift I made a black coffee and decided to start playing early.  
  
“Give that to Josh when he gets here, please?” I smiled over at Brendon, who rolled his eyes before placing it somewhere it’d stay warm. I sat down at the piano and started out simple, playing some of my usual pieces, with the one I called ‘Before You Start Your Day’ first as part of the routine. When Josh came in during the middle of ‘Trapdoor’, I smiled at him while I finished. He smiled back and waved before getting a seat close to the front. “I- um… well this one’s new. I wrote it about my charming boyfriend over there with the blue hair.” I pointed towards his direction before playing ‘Ruby’. It went over well with the crowd, which dissipated after I finished with that one.  
  
“Hey Ty!” He pecked my cheek before taking a sip of his drink. “Thanks for the show. And the coffee. But I prefer your playing over coffee.” He smiled.  
  
“You’re welcome. I get off now, so what do you want to do until six, when my next shift starts?” He smiled, his ‘idea’ glint in his eyes.  
  
“Well, there’s a blanket fort waiting at home. With plenty of pillows inside.” My eyes widened.  
  
“Yes! I am so there!” He chuckled.  
  
“I thought you’d say as much. I was also hoping you’d play your ukulele for me? I haven’t heard you play in so long.” My smile faltered.  
  
“I can’t anymore, remember? I’m out of practice, I already said.” He gently held my hands and smiled hopefully.  
  
“I also recall you saying that playing an instrument is like riding a bike, you never forget.” I returned his smile and looked down at our hands.  
  
“I’ll try. But no promises.” He hugged me before planting a kiss on my lips.  
  
“Alright, alright! PDA to a minimum please!” Mark came over, rolling his eyes while smiling with a bag of muffins.  
  
“Thanks Mark. See you later!” I called out while Josh and I walked back.  


When we got back, he pulled me into the blanket fort he made. It had all of the couch cushions as walls and flooring, and a broom holding the blanket draped over it up from the middle tee-pee style. I giggled and sat down inside it, my ukulele already there.  
  
“You really wanted me to play, didn’t you?” He averted his gaze with red cheeks.  
  
“Well- I mean, remembering the sound of you playing got me through a lot of tough days. I really missed it.” I smiled weakly.  
  
“Hang on. I need to make sure it’s tuned first.” He immediately perked up and waited eagerly while I tuned. After, I started slowly playing different chords. I eventually worked my way into a song. “The only one I remember at the moment was one I wrote for my mom. I performed it at a mother’s day banquet our church had years ago.”  
  
“I bet its great even still.” He smiled and listened as I started playing before singing.  
  
_“She asked me, ‘Son, when I grow old,_  
  
_Will you buy me a house of gold?_  
  
_And when your father turns to stone,_  
  
_Will you take care of me?’_  
  
  
_I will make you queen of everything you see,_  
  
_I'll put you on the map,_  
  
_I'll cure you of disease._  
  
  
_Let's say we up and left this town,_  
  
_And turned our future upside down._  
  
_We'll make pretend that you and me,_  
  
_Lived ever after happily._   
  
_She asked me, ‘Son, when I grow old,_  
  
_Will you buy me a house of gold?_  
  
_And when your father turns to stone,_  
  
_Will you take care of me?’_  
  
  
_I will make you queen of everything you see,_  
  
_I'll put you on the map,_  
  
_I'll cure you of disease._  
  
  
_Ohhhh..._  
  
_And since we know that dreams are dead,_  
  
_And life turns plans up on their head,_  
  
_I will plan to be a bum,_  
  
_So I just might become someone._  
  
  
_She asked me, ‘Son, when I grow old,_  
  
_Will you buy me a house of gold?_  
  
_And when your father turns to stone,_  
  
_Will you take care of me?’_  
  
  
_I will make you queen of everything you see,_  
  
_I'll put you on the map,_  
  
_I'll cure you of disease.”_ He started clapping immediately after I finished.  
  
“See? You still know how!” He smiled and kissed my cheek. I smiled back.  
  
“I guess so. It’s just been so long, and with everything else that was happening I thought I’d forgotten.” He wrapped his arms around me and smiled. I smiled back and pressed my lips to his, lingering for a few moments before he pulled away.  
  
“Have I ever told you you’re an incredible kisser?” He smiled at me with dazed eyes.  
  
“Not yet.” I chuckled.  
  
“Well then in that case, you’re a great kisser. Best kisser I’ve ever kissed.” I giggled while blushing.  
  
“Thanks, Jish. You’re a pretty good kisser too.” He giggled along and smiled, laying down in our fort. I laid down beside him and laced our fingers together. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand gently while I hummed, filling the comfortable silence with slight noise. We laid together for a few hours until I had to back to work for the evening.  
  
“But Tyyy! I don’t wanna be home by myself!” He whined while I got up.  
  
“Well then come with me. There’s plenty of tables, and it doesn’t get that crowded at night so if you wanna talk I won’t be too busy.” I smiled.  
  
“Alright. Then when we leave I have a surprise for you!” He ran over to get his shoes and hat from by the door.  
  
“Surprise? What would that be?” He smiled.  
  
“A super-secret surprise you can’t know about yet.” I groaned while slipping my vans and floral kimono over a black long sleeve before leaving.  
  
“Do you ever get warm wearing all those sweaters?” Josh asked as he walked beside me to the shop.  
  
“N-No. Besides, they’re comfy.” I lied. I was absolutely sweltering in the warmth of the summer sun, but I wasn’t ready for Josh to find out yet. There’s no telling what he might do. He raised his eyebrow, but shrugged.  
  
“Alright then. If you insist.” We continued walking in comfortable silence until we got to the café.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Not-so-fun fun fact: Both of today's chapter's are really fluffy angst to make up for what's coming~~


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter seemed longer than it actually is. Oh well, I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you guys enjoy it! There is some referencing to self-harm scars though, so please be careful reading that part near the end. Stay safe guys :)

***Josh***   


I sat at one of the booths with the best view of the counter while Tyler worked. I admired him while sipping on my coffee and planning out our surprise date. After an hour or two I walked up to the counter with a huge grin on my face.  
  
“Hey cutie. Come here often?” He snorted and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Yes Josh, I happen to work here.” I fake-gasped.  
  
“Really? That must be how you got that cute apron!” He giggled.  
  
“Josh!” He whined.  
  
“What?” I mocked him.  
  
“What are you doing, Josh?” He smiled.  
  
“I’m talking to my boyfriend? Unless you’re not Tyler Joseph, do you know where I can find him? I have a message for him.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“I’ll go get him for you. You big dork…” He muttered before walking behind the machines and walking back out. “Tyler Joseph, at your service.” I giggled.  
  
“I’m gonna head back to our place and get your surprise ready, okay?” He scoffed.  
  
“We just went through all of that for you to tell me that?”  
  
“What? I thought it was cute.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“It kinda was.” He pecked my lips across the counter. “I get off in an hour or so, so I’ll see you then. Love you Josh!”  
  
“Love you too.” I smiled while walking backwards towards the exit, smiling at him as long as I could. When I got back I went out to his little balcony and smiled when I saw a patio table. _Perfect!_ I grabbed it carefully and hauled it to the elevator, headed towards the roof. A man with balding hair and a suit got on after two floors, and eyed me the whole time.  
  
“How you doing? I’m setting up a surprise date. For my boyfriend.” He nodded and looked away, very annoyed (rude. I’m just planning a nice evening with Tyler) before getting off at a different floor.   
  
The elevator continued without stopping anywhere else up to the roof. I held the door open while pulling the table out to a cleared area with a view of the skyline. I remembered how much Tyler loved it when we first came, so I wanted to make sure he could see it, and I could see his eyes light up with wonder when he gazed out at it. I went back to the apartment and grabbed spare sheets of varying patterns and brought them up, getting pipes laying around and setting the sheets on them. I admired my work before running back down one last time, coming back up with fairy lights I bought the other day, stringing them up across the pipes the held sheets up like curtains and walls around the table. I plugged them into an extension cord before plugging that into the wall by the elevator. They lit up a warm white color along with the bright hues of the setting sun. It was a beautiful view, and absolutely perfect. I ran back down to the apartment and sighed when I looked in Tyler’s fridge again to see how barren it was. I groaned and ran to the supermarket I saw down the road, getting enough food to probably feed a small army.  
  
“Stocking for the apocalypse?” The girl at the checkout joked  
  
“Nope. Date night.” I smiled nervously while paying.  
  
“Good luck!” She called out as I left. I waved fondly before grabbing my bags and sprinting back. I ran past the shop and saw the beginning to clean up. _Crap!_ I ran faster into his apartment and started cooking quickly. I made stir-fry with noodles and beef, since it was the quickest thing I knew how to make.  
  
“Hey Josh- what is that? It smells great!” Tyler greeted while I stared up in horror not quite finished yet. _I thought he said an hour!_  
  
“Y-You’re home early.” He shrugged and sat on the couch while I finished.  
  
“Guess so. What did you do, dirty every dish I own?” He joked at the looming pile in the sink. I grabbed the hot pan and headed towards the door.  
  
“Hold that thought.” I ran out and into the elevator, earning more weird looks from others while I tried to make sure my hands weren’t getting too burnt from the pan when I brought it up and set it on the table. I admired the view of the whole setup with the sun low in the sky.  
  
“What’s all this, Josh?” Tyler said from behind me. I jolted slightly out of my daze. I quickly closed the sheets around the table, hiding his view from it. So much for bringing him up here with the blindfold…  
  
“Tyler! You ruined the surprise, I had this all planned out and everyth-“ He cut me off with a drawn out kiss, pulling away slowly.  
  
“Sorry I ruined your plans. But what’s this for?” He smiled up at me. I smiled back, blushing.  
  
“I don’t remember ever being on an actual date with you. So here we are, having an actual date.” His raised his eyebrow.  
  
“On the roof?”  
  
“On the roof.”  
  
“But there’s nothing here except some old pipes, the ledge and-“ He gasped as I pulled the curtain back, revealing the table set up with fairy lights around it and the skyline. “Josh…”  
  
“Hope you like stir-fry.” I lamely commented while pulling a chair out for him.  
  
“Josh, this is- this is incredible. You went out of your way to do all this?” He smiled up at me, tears in his eyes.  
  
“Surprise, baby.” I kissed him before sitting across him.  
  
“Thank you Josh, I-I don’t know what to say.” He started eating shortly after, his gaze constantly caught on the skyline. I sighed happily, admiring how he looked in the glow of the fairy lights while eating. His gaze met mine for a second, his tired eyes finally wearing the smile I love so much and have yet to see since I came back to him.  
  
“So you like it?”  
  
“Like it? I love it! I love you. This is single-handedly the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He laced our hands together across the table.  
  
“You deserve the world on a string, Tyler. The moon, the stars- the whole shebang. I’m not sure if I can give it to you, but I’ll try.” He sniffled slightly.  
  
“Thank you Josh. Thank you for hitting me with your car, and everything that’s followed after that- good and bad.” I choked on my red bull before laughing.  
  
“I never thought that’d be something someone would thank me for, but if you say so.” He playfully smacked me.  
  
“You know what I mean, Jishwa.” He smiled.  
  
“I know.” I chuckled slightly. I lost myself gazing into his eyes, their chocolatey color dragging me in and keeping my attention transfixed. “I love you so, so much.”  
  
“I love you too.” His gaze went down to our joined hands, sighing when they stopped at his sweater sleeves. “Josh, there’s something I have to tell you- well, actually show you.” I nodded, worry creating a pit in my stomach.  
  
“What would that be?” He let go of my hand for a second to take off his sweater, pulling one sleeve off before looking up at me. He pulled the other off and rested his arms on the table, red lines decorating them from his wrists all the way up to his shoulders. I gazed at the countless scars with teary eyes, gently tracing a few with my fingers. I stayed in stunned silence.  
  
“Josh?” He replied worried. I looked up at him before grabbing his hand again.  
  
"These happened because I left, didn’t they? I’m so sorry, Tyler- I… I don’t-“  
  
“It’s not your fault, Josh. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”  
  
“But it is! I left you without reason for a whole year, couldn’t even bother to send you a postcard or call- I’ve put you through a lot of pain.”  
  
“It’s not you! It’s… it’s him.” I stared at his arms again slowly pulling him closer. “Josh?” I ignored him before pressing my lips to each cut.  
  
“You’re beautiful.” “You’re talented.” "You have such a nice smile." "Your laugh is so adorable." He started sniffling as I continued down each arm, reaching towards his lips after telling him a compliment with each kiss. “You mean the world to me.” I pressed our lips together, savoring the moment. I cupped his cheek in my hand, wiping his tears with my thumb. He stared back into my eyes, molten chocolate eyes filled with so many emotions.  
  
“Josh?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I love you.” I smiled before wrapping him into a hug.  
  
“I love you too. Let’s go to bed, it’s getting late.” He nodded and laced our hands together, following me back to the apartment.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~psst the next update tomorrow is really- yeah... sorry in advance~~


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Definite trigger warning on this for overdosing and a fight scene that gets pretty brutal, so be careful of that please. If you want to skip the chapter free to, what happens is Tyler can't sleep and then Blurryface comes back and makes Tyler do sme bad things with sleeping pills (which you can probably guess from the warning) and then Tyler has some weird dream based off of it. Stay safe guys! :) |-/

***Tyler***

I laid in bed besides Josh for hours, envying the sounds of his gentle snoring. I wished I could fall asleep- or just fall away. This was way too much. My mind hasn’t been silent for a moment since he came back, with Blurryface screaming in the background and all of the confusion muddling it. I wanted to forgive him, and I have, but it’s still hard to wake up and see him here. I’ve gotten used to the emptiness and the wishing that he was here that it’s still so hard to believe it’s a reality. Tonight was different though- it was quiet. Everything was, clear too. No Blurryface, no confusion, no stress. It felt wrong, and the more I thought of it the worst it got. The silence overwhelmed me, wrapping itself like a thick cloth with no holes poked in it to breathe through. I sighed and got up from the bed, gently being pulled to a stop by Josh’s hand entwined in mine. I smiled and kissed the back of it before letting go and going into the bathroom to do what I always when I think too much- take a shower. After I got out, I looked in the fogged-up mirror to see the one thing I feared most.  
  
**“Hello, Tyler. Long time no see, huh?”** He chuckled darkly. I fell back into the wall.  
  
“No…” His sadistic smile faded into false worry.  
  
**“Aren’t you tired? It’s late.”** I looked at him with confusion.  
  
“Yeah? But I mean, Josh is in there, and I-“  
  
**“Josh? He’s still here? I thought he would’ve left by now, being the traveling man he is. Are you tired, Tyler?”** I absently nodded, his bone-chilling smile returning. **“Good. You need your sleep, after all. There’s some sleeping pills in the medicine cabinets, right?”**  
  
“Y-Yeah…” I reached towards it, already knowing where he was going. I grabbed the bottle and popped the cap off before pouring its entire contents in my hand.  
  
**“Good boy! Now take your medicine. You want to get better, don’t you?”** I nodded weakly before putting my hand to my mouth, pouring the white capsules in and swallowing. Blurryface vanished as someone knocked on the door.  
  
“Tyler? You in there?” My heart raced. _Josh!_ I stayed quiet before slumping against the wall, sitting beside the door.  
  
“J-Josh, I- he…” My voice faded as the knocking increased.  
  
“Tyler! Let me in there!” I reached for the doorknob, my hand resting on it loosely. My mind grew hazy before I could do what it was I planned before. “Tyler! Tyler, please!” Josh shouted, slamming into the door now and twisting the knob violently. “Tyler! Tyler, let me in!” Tyler-“  
  
_**“Tyler…”** Josh’s tone changed to being a lot calmer and soothing, his red hair glowing like a flame in the sunset. **“Come on Tyler, just a little bit more. We’re almost there.”** He entwined our hands across the bench seat of his truck from where I was laying. I smiled weakly._  
  
_“Josh.” Frantic thumping came from somewhere distant Josh glared towards it before looking back at me._  
  
_**“Come on, Tyler. Just a little more.”** He started growing stressed, looking all over while the knocking continued._  
  
_“Jish, why are you worried? We’re not in a rush.” He looked over at me, crimson eyes matching his hair._  
  
_**“Y-You’re right. We’ll get there when we get there.”** He smiled weakly while I sat up._  
  
_“Are you feeling alright? Your eyes are red.” He nodded._  
  
_**“I’m fine, don’t worry.”** He leaned in close, our lips brushing. The windshield cracked in the middle, spreading across the entire glass. He glanced over at it frantically. He moved in front of me protectively, dodging pieces of broken glass. A hand reached through the hole in the middle, grabbing the collar of my shirt and trying to drag me out. I thrashed and screamed, trying to break free._  
  
_“Josh!” Josh’s head peered over the roof into the window, his brown eyes mixed with worry surrounded by a halo of blue frizzy hair._  
  
_“Yeah, Ty?” My heart sped up, glancing over at ‘Josh’. He glared back at Josh, his red eyes lit with anger._  
  
_**“Can you drive for a moment, Tyler?”** He crawled across my lap, grabbing Josh’s wrist tightly and yanking it off my shirt. **"He's __ **mine****."_  
_“Ty! Don’t let him win- it’s not me!” I looked back towards the fight, ‘Josh’ currently winning by repeatedly punching Josh’s stomach. I narrowed my eyes while looking at the side mirror, their reflections different. Josh was bleeding from his nose and cut lip with bright wings surrounding him, while ‘Josh’ had inky black hands and a red beanie-_  
  
_“Blurryface.” ‘Josh’ stopped and grinned at me._  
  
_**“At your service.”** He punched Josh hard, making him fall back in the bed of the truck. He crawled out of the window and started going after him. I swerved hard and braked, causing both of them to slam into the sides of the bed. I got out and ran to the back, grabbing Josh’s hand. I grabbed a blanket and handed it to him, stopping the blood spewing out of his nose. He smiled weakly before looking toward flashing red lights._  
  
_“Don’t be gone, please- just don’t be gone.” He picked me up and carried me towards the sounds of sirens, his ghost-like wings wrapping their warm glow around me. My vision grew hazy again as he pressed his lips to mine, smiling wearily through tears. “For good luck.”_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been told that I might get sued for hurting them so I'M SO SORRY IT'S JUST PLOT PROGRESSION DON'T MAIM OR SERIOUSLY INJURE ME!! 
> 
> And yes I totally did follow up with him writing Ruby about Josh in his vision, that was all intended


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess what? This one isn't as sad! It's actually really fluffy, so I hope it makes up for the last chapter!

***Josh***

The ambulance came almost immediately after I had called, thankfully. It was soon enough for me to get Tyler to throw up the pills before the toxic dose made its way through his body. The only downside was they wouldn’t let me come with them since I wasn’t family or married to him. So instead I decided to go to the café and break the news to Mark, Brendon, and Patrick. I shrugged a sweater on and slipped shoes on after changing out of my pajamas. I trudged over to the shop sleepily, the bell ringing loudly when I opened the door.  
  
“Hey Josh- you okay, man? Looks like you had a rough night.” Brendon asked while making a coffee.  
  
“Not really. They wouldn’t let me go with him….” I replied absently, my mind frozen on the ambulance’s lights moving away from the apartment as it drove off with Tyler.  
  
“Let you go with who where?”  
  
“Tyler. I- He’s in the hospital.” His eyes widened.  
  
“Is he alright? What happened?” I sniffled slightly.  
  
“He overdosed. I don’t know why- I thought he would be happy since I came back. But he’s been acting odd the whole time since, and then that happened- I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Brendon walked with me to a booth before handing me the warm drink.  
  
“It doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong. Do you know if he has any history for mental illness? It could be that, not you.” I shook my head.  
  
“Not really. H-He talks sometimes about ‘he’ or the ‘him-who-isn’t-him’ if that means anything.” He nodded.  
  
“I think you two need to talk about that when he gets back. If you can, try talking to him about it when you visit. Maybe not quite so seriously at first, but try and find out what happened.” He smiled slightly while I shakily took a sip from my coffee.”  
  
“Thanks. You really seem to know a lot about this kind of thing.”  
  
“My ex Dallon was kinda like Tyler. Really quiet, sweet, but he had problems like this. I learned a thing or two trying to help him.”  
  
“Oh. Well thanks for your help.” I pulled out my wallet to pay him for the drink. He chuckled and shook his head.  
  
“It’s on the house. I’ll let Mark know we’re one short today. So go see him already! Go!” I chuckled slightly before hugging him on my way out.  


I hated hospitals. Everything about them. The white walls, the overpowering smell of antiseptic, the silence that was too heavy to fill with television no matter how hard they tried, especially the never-ending feeling of sadness over them. The waiting rooms were pretty gruesome too, and this one was no exception. Two hours had passed and they still hadn’t called me in to see him. I nervously flipped through every outdated magazine twice, paced nervously, and attempted to watch whatever show they had playing within the time to no avail. Finally, a nurse walked out.  
  
“Tyler Joseph?” I looked over towards the woman hopefully. “Right this way.” I got up and followed her to his room, walking through many winding hallways (another thing I hated about hospitals- how easy it is to get lost in them).  
  
“Any news on his condition?” She looked over the clipboard in her hands.  
  
“He’s stable, but he’s still out. It might be a few days yet until he wakes up.” My heart dropped as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. “Here we are. You’re welcome to stay here until visiting hours are over.” I smiled slightly and thanked her before sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs by his bed. His skin was sickly pale, the black lines of his tattoos contrasting with it dramatically.  
  
“Hey, Ty.” I smiled weakly, bringing his limp hand up to my face and kissing it. I carefully shifted closer and examined his arms and legs, double checking that he hadn’t cut anymore too. I sighed in relief when I couldn’t find anything new. I moved the chair closer and held his hand while staying there. The doctor walked in at about an hour before visiting hours were over.  
  
“Oh- you must be the young man the paramedics were talking about when they brought Tyler in.” I nodded.  
  
“Yeah, they wouldn’t let me on the ambulance.” I smiled sadly. He smiled back.  
  
“I figured you’d be in to see him. I’m Dr. Ross, by the way. I’m just checking his vitals real quick.” I nodded and moved slightly so he could continue. After writing something down, he smiled at me. “Well the good news is that he should be waking up real soon.” He looked around quickly before moving in close. “And I won’t tell anyone if you stay past visiting hours.” He smiled before walking off.  
  
“Thank you!” I shouted out towards him as he walked to his next patient. I stayed in the chair beside Tyler until most of the people left for the night. After, I cautiously crawled beside him in the bed, making sure not to knock any wires loose. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek before closing my eyes. “Night, Tyler. I love you.”  


The next morning I woke up early in a cold sweat from a bad dream.  
  
“Shh… it’s alright.” Tyler started stroking my hair, kissing my forehead while whispering calming words.  
  
“When did you wake up?” I looked up at him, beaming after calming down.  
  
“A few hours ago. They didn’t kick you out?” I shook my head.  
  
“I wouldn’t have left anyways. Need to make up for not going on the ambulance with you.” I yawned. His smile faded.  
  
“You called an ambulance?”  
  
“I was worried. What happened?”  
  
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went to take a shower. And when I came out Blurryface was back- he’s been leaving me alone mostly since you came back- and then he kept asking me if I was tired, and said I could get some sleep i-if I did that. And then you and him were fighting, and then I woke up here.” I rubbed circles in his back, holding onto him tightly. “I-I’m sorry, Josh. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“You’re okay now. We got all of it out of your system, and you’re awake now. It’s going to be okay.” He nodded, speaking quietly in my chest.  
  
“He’s never going to leave me alone, is he?”  
  
“I don’t know, that’s up to you. You can take him out, Tyler. And I’ll be here to help every step along the way.” He smiled weakly.  
  
“Thanks. So, you’re not leaving then?” I scoffed.  
  
“Why would I leave when I have everything I need right here?” I pointed to his chest and smiled he giggled slightly.  
  
“Jish! You and I both know that that’s not true.” I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Didn’t I tell you lying was bad?” He nodded. “So then don’t lie.” Someone cleared their throat from the doorway, interrupting our moment. Dr. Ross smiled at us.  
  
“Sorry to interrupt, but I need to check your vitals again, Tyler.” I nodded and slid out of the bed, giving him the room he needed to do his work.  
  
“You’re doing a lot better. We’re going to keep you here for a while today just to be sure, but you’re going to be leaving by tonight.” Tyler smiled and sat up in the bed.  
  
“Thank you.” Dr. Ross nodded before walking out again.  
  
“Should I go let Mark know?” He shrugged.  
  
“Maybe you should just bring them by. I’m doing better is what he said, so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.” I nodded and kissed him before leaving.  
  
“I’ll be back soon.” He nodded and waved as I walked to my truck and drove to the café.  
  
“Hey Josh! How’s he doing?” Brendon shouted from the counter.  
  
"Better. If you want to convince Mark to close up for a while he said you guys can come visit him.” Brendon smiled and ran to the back to get Mark. The only customer, Patrick, waved and closed his book.  
  
“Are you talking about Tyler? Brendon told me.” I nodded.  
  
“Yeah. Wanna come with us to visit?” He nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I’d love to!” After Brendon and Mark walked out from the back, we all got in my truck and drove to the hospital. The drive was quiet except for Brendon who kept singing along obnoxiously to the radio. When we got to Tyler’s room, his face lit up.  
  
“Hey.” I pecked his lips and sat in the chair beside him while everyone took turns greeting him.  
  
“So when you leaving, Tyler?” Patrick asked. His smile grew.  
  
“The doctor came by while you were gone and said as soon as Josh came back I’m leaving.” My face lit up.  
  
“Great! So they want me in the front to sign papers now then?” He nodded. I kissed his cheek before running to the front and signing him out. I skipped back to his room (yes, skipped) before they brought a wheelchair and wheeled him out to my truck. We all got back in before I started driving.  
  
“So now what?” I shrugged.  
  
“We could go get lunch? Tyler offered. I nodded.  
  
“Ooh- In-N-Out! Brendon shouted excitedly I glanced in the backseat at him very confused.  
  
“What?”  
  
“In-N-Out! Wait, you’ve never been to there?!” I shook my head.  
  
“No? I haven’t really been to the west coast, and most of the places I have been to didn’t have them.” Tyler nodded.  
  
“Yeah, and Ohio doesn’t have In-N-Out.”  
  
“Well now we have to go!” Brendon gave me directions to the restaurant that was completely crowded from lunch rush.  
  
“You had to choose _now_ of all times to come here?” Mark grumbled in annoyance. “The drive-thru is a lot quicker if you just want to get the food and bring it back to the shop.”  
  
“Alright.” After ordering, we drove back to the café and crowded into a booth with all our food. Brendon, Patrick, and Mark watched me in Tyler in anticipation while we unwrapped the burgers.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Well this is your first In-N-Out, so it’s special. We should commemorate it somehow…” Patrick smiled. My eyes widened before I jumped out and ran to my truck.  
  
“I’ll be right back!” I ran into the backseat and searched around before I found what I was after- a disposable camera with half a roll of film left. I ran back in and sat down panting, passing the camera to Tyler. His gasped softly before picking it up.  
  
“My camera... You had it this whole time?” I nodded.  
  
“Yep. I figured you might want that back so we can commemorate this.” He nodded before taking a picture of the food. He passed the camera to Patrick and smiled.  
  
“Take a picture of us eating these.” He smiled at me. “On three?” I nodded.   
“1…”  
  
“2…”  
  
“3!” Brendon shouted as we both bit into the sandwiches. I looked up at the camera as it clicked.  
  
“Oh. My. Gosh.” Tyler stared at the sandwich before biting into it again.  
  
“It’s good, isn’t it?” Mark smiled. I nodded and continued eating.  
  
“Why are these not everywhere!? This is so good!” Patrick chuckled and handed the camera back to Tyler. He smiled before pointing the camera at the whole table and taking a picture of all of us eating. We continued talking and eating for an hour before Mark decided to open the café up again. Tyler played a few of his songs on the piano before we left.  
  
“See you later Mark!” He shouted towards the back.  
  
“No you won’t, you have the rest of the day off. Come in tomorrow though!” He smiled and nodded as we got into my truck and went back to our apartment. He took a picture of front room before sitting in the blanket fort we still had up from a few days ago. I sat down beside him as he took another picture, this one of us inside the fort  
  
“Geez, Ty. You’re gonna run out of film on there at this rate.” He chuckled.  
  
“There’s a lot to commemorate.” I giggled slightly and nodded before kissing his cheek. Another click from the camera. He glanced out towards the setting sun from the window and smiled at me.  
  
“Do you still have the table set up on the roof?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Great!” He pulled me up and took me to the roof, taking a picture of the table and another of the skyline. “There. Now the camera’s caught up to where we are now.” I smiled and kissed him gently before leading him back to our apartment for the night.  



	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for slow builds and the return of hair-dying fluff Also only one chapter today since I got a shitton of homework today which really sucks, but oh well. I'd rather not have to retake anything lol

I laid awake in bed for hours, restlessly watching Tyler as he slept. I rolled over on my side while running a hand through my hair. Tyler’s fingers melded with mine, his lips pressing against the back of it.  
  
“Sleep, Josh.” He smiled before moving closer.  
  
“I’m trying, but I just can’t. I’m worried.”  
  
“What are you worried about? I’m home now.”  
  
“I know. I’m just afraid that you’ll do something like that again, that I might not be good enough, that I just- I don’t know. I’m just so afraid.” M voice broke at the end.  
  
“Josh…” He moved closer and wrapped himself around me. “You are never not good enough for me, or anyone else. You’ve made mistakes, but we all have. So relax, everything will be okay.” He kissed my cheek before resting his head against my chest. I smiled and closed my eyes, falling asleep soon after he did.  


_Running. That’s all I knew- keep running. I didn’t know from what, but I definitely didn’t want to be caught by it. Whatever ‘it’ was. I glanced back before stopping, whatever was chasing me far enough behind for me to catch my breath. I panted heavily, the humid air caused by rain feeling thick in my lungs. Delirious laughter sounded from all around me, as if ‘it’ was watching. I covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out the sound._  
  
_“Stop this! Please!” I cried out to ‘it’, the heavy sound of a crank being pulled after. The laughter continued as the ground gave out from under me, falling feet-first into a trapdoor built into the ground. Darkness surrounded me on the path of my freefall, but was soon pierced by a brilliant light. I looked up and around to see its source- golden wings that appeared ghostly enveloping me._  
  
_“Save him.” A loud yet calming voice said as the wings unfurled, blossoming from my shoulder blades. They carried me out of the darkness and back onto land, the gentle crashing of waves sounding from a nearby shore._  
  
_“Why me though? Isn’t there better, more qualified people out there?” The source of the voice chuckled slightly, sounding more feminine now._  
  
_“Yes, but that’s why we chose you. If he wanted perfection, he wouldn’t have stayed with you this whole time, would he?” Were they talking about Tyler?_  
  
_“I guess?” The glowing wings around me faded into the glow of the sun._  
  
_“He needs your help to take him out. He needs you.” The voice sounded sterner before the world faded in a glowing warmth. I ran down the sandy beach as it vanished out from under me._  
  
_“Wait- you didn’t tell me what I’m supposed to do!” I continued running until everything faded in the glow of the morning._  
  
_“Take him out.”_  


I woke with a start, breathing heavily from the dream. I looked over to see Tyler already up, and probably at work. I sighed and went into the bathroom, examining my back in the mirror for any kind of marks from wings, finding none. I sighed and got ready for the day changing into some decent clothes before walking over to the café- right in time for Tyler to start playing. He began playing some of his more known songs, and finished off with a new one he called ‘Isle of Flightless Birds’. I shook off the weird feelings I got when he played it before walking over as he finished.  
  
“Hey Josh!” He smiled up at me.  
  
“Hey. Why didn’t you wake me? I could’ve come with you.” I pouted slightly, trying to hide my smile that never faded around him.  
  
“I didn’t want to. You looked really at peace sleeping, and you need to catch up on sleep.” I nodded.  
  
“Well in that case, thanks. I made breakfast if you want to come home and eat?” He nodded and got up as Mark came by, with two cups of coffee instead of a bag of sweets.  
  
“See you two later!” We said our goodbyes to Mark and Brendon before walking back.  
  
“So what did you think?”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“The new song, genius.” He rolled his eyes. I smiled.  
  
“It’s really good. Where did you get the idea for it from?” He shrugged, his face tinted rosy.  
  
“I heard you talking in your sleep last night. Some of the things you said I used as the chorus.” I turned bright red.  
  
“I didn’t know I talked in my sleep.” He chuckled.  
  
“You usually don’t. I guess it was just because you hadn’t gotten much sleep before.” I nodded, thankful for the ~~excuse~~ reason behind the weird dream. “So what did you make for breakfast?” He smiled while I shrugged.  
  
“Omelets. They have cheese in them.” His eyes lit up.  
  
“Sounds good.” We went back and started eating in comfortable silence. My mind was swarmed with thoughts though, one echoing above the others.  
  
_‘Take him out.’_ What did it mean? Take who out? Surely I wasn’t supposed to kill Tyler, right? It didn’t make any sense to me.  
  
“You’re really good at cooking, you know. This is awesome!” Tyler commented with a mouthful of food, gently pulling me out of my distress.  
  
“Thanks. I worked at a restaurant for a while.” I smiled while eating.  
  
“They put you in as a chef instead of a waiter?” I shrugged, chuckling slightly.  
  
“I did apply to be a chef after all.” He smiled.  
  
“Well you’re really good at cooking.” We continued eating in comfortable silence, my mind wandering back to the dream, and anything before that might help.  
  
_‘You can take him out, Tyler. And I’ll be here to help every step along the way.’_ What I thought was a simple conversation from before echoed in my head, realization from it setting in.  
  
“Josh?” Tyler waved his hand in front of my face.  
  
“Hm- yeah?” He chuckled.  
  
“I asked if you had any more plans for today.”  
  
“Not really.” I ran my hand through my hair, taking in the fading color. I grinned over at Tyler.  
  
“How about we dye my hair again?” His face lit up.  
  
“Do I get to pick the color?”  
  
“Uh, duh! It came out so good last time, so you get to do it again.” He smiled while getting up.  
  
“Okay, let’s go to the store now!” He put on his floral kimono and practically ran out the door, leaving me trailing behind. We got in my truck and drove to the store, going straight to the hair dye section.  
  
“What color are we dying my hair?” He scanned the shelves of boxes before reaching for one of green dye.  
  
“This one!” I giggled and put the box in the basket before getting other things we’d need to dye my hair. We went back and set up in the bathroom after changing.  
  
“Ready?” He slipped on gloves before dipping his fingers in the dye.  
  
“Ready.” I smiled up at him as he started coating my hair, the dye covering my wavy strands.  
  
“Maybe next time you want to color your hair you can leave it natural. I haven’t seen your natural hair color yet.” He smiled.  
  
“It’s not that exciting, it’s just brown.” I shrugged.  
  
“My hair’s brown. Is it not exciting enough?” He pouted.  
  
“Yours is a different brown! It’s prettier than my brown hair.” He continued pouting.  
  
“I doubt it. Next time we change your hair color, leave it natural!” He whined. I giggled slightly.  
  
“Alright, alright. I’ll leave it natural, okay?” He pecked my cheek after finishing.  
  
“Okay.” We talked about nothing and joked around while waiting for the dye to set. After rinsing it out, I dried my hair and put my beanie on top of it before walking out to show Tyler.  
  
“Ready to see?” He nodded eagerly while I slowly pulled the beanie off. He smiled excitedly.  
  
“I like it a lot!” I ran my hand through my hair while looking at in the mirror.  
  
“Me too. It came out good.” I pecked his lips. He smiled and sat down on the couch. I sat down beside him, watching whatever he turned on. My mind wandered elsewhere though. I knew who to take out now, but how? It wasn’t like I could just reach into Tyler’s mind and choke his Blurryface. It didn’t work that way. I continued thinking about it in the back of my mind while Tyler and I talked before he had to work later.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote Josh's dream, I pictured the laughing from the Emperor's New Clothes video by Panic! At The Disco for it (like the intro. Same with the lever being pulled). I was listening to that and Trapdoor a lot writing this lol. Also the Emperor's New Clothes Video came out on my birthday, so I pretty happy when it was released. Talk about a good birthday!


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of smut at the end of this, so read up to Josh's dream if you'd like to avoid that. Enjoy guys! |-/  
> //Also, updates are probably going to be hit-and-miss throughout this weekend and the next week since my family is traveling. And also with that I'm going to get less chance to write so during this time it'll be one chapter a day :/ But by next Tuesday (the 9th), my updating schedule should be back to two chapters a day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also guys, have you heard Circles by Pierce The Veil or Bored To Death by Blink-182??? They're super awesome tracks I recommend if you want something to listen to! That and Thank God For Girls by Weezer. It came out a while back but I only just now heard it and I'm in love!

“Hey Josh! Nice hair!” Brendon commented on his way out as Tyler and I came back to the café for his closing shift.  
  
“Thanks. Tyler dyed it.” I smiled over at Tyler. He smiled back before walking behind the counter and starting to work. I sat at one of the tables and watched happily. His shift passed by quickly, and before I knew it we were walking home.  
  
“Josh?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Are you feeling okay? You seem kinda distracted.” I felt slightly panicked. Should I tell him about it? I decided quickly before actually thinking about my answer.  
  
“Yeah, I just had a weird dream last night.”  
  
“Do you want to talk about it? It could help, if it’s bothering you.” He seemed hesitant as he continued. I smiled slightly.  
  
“Yeah, I probably should. Like you said, it could help.” When we got home he sat down on the couch. I sat beside him while he grabbed a large blanket and wrapped it around both of us.  
  
“So what happened in your dream?” I shrugged.  
  
“It was weird- I was running, and then I was falling through a trapdoor.” I left out the other part, deciding to wait to tell him about that. Unfortunately he could tell that wasn’t all.  
  
“And that was all that happened?” He raised his eyebrow.  
  
“Well, no. There was another part, like I had wings, and I was flying out of the hole I fell into. And then there was this voice that kept saying ‘save him’ and something about taking someone out. But I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, or if it was just weird from not sleeping a lot.” He nodded.  
  
“Sounds to me like you’re becoming someone’s guardian angel…” He mused.  
  
“Those actually exist?” He shrugged.  
  
“Maybe. If they want you to save someone, it sounds like they’re pretty real. Or at least metaphorically.” He smiled. “Who do they want you to save anyways?”  
  
“I think you.” I added quietly, stunned by the new knowledge.  
  
“Oh.” We sat in silence for a while, taking everything in. “But I’m better now h-he’s leaving me alone.” I wrapped my arms around him.  
  
“I know. But maybe they want us to get rid of him for good. So you don’t have to worry about him ever being there.” I smiled weakly. He smiled back.  
  
“Maybe.” We sat there for a while before I looked over to see Tyler dozing off. I chuckled and poked him.  
  
“C’mon sleepyhead, let’s go to bed.” He groaned.  
  
“Don’t wanna get up…” I rolled my eyes.  
  
“So you’re just going to sleep on the couch then?”  
  
“Nuh-uh.”  
  
“Then how do you expect to get to bed?” He looked up at me.  
  
“Carry me?” I laughed slightly before sighing.  
  
“Alright. Only because I love you so much.” He cheered while I rolled my eyes and carefully picked him up bridal-style. He wrapped his arms around my neck while I carried him into bed.  
  
“Jooosh! I’m still in my clothes!” He whined.  
  
“Well I’m not doing everything for you, baby. You have to do some of it too, no matter how tired you are.” He groaned.  
  
“Fine…” He quickly threw off his shirt and slipped his pants off, leaving him in his boxers. I changed out of my clothes and laid down beside him.  
  
“Night, Ty.” I kissed his cheek before snuggling closer to him.  
  
“Night Josh. I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.”  


_“So, now you know what you’re supposed to do?” The same voice from last night commented while I sat on the sandy beach, watching the waves._  
  
_“Not really. Was he right though- about me being his guardian angel?” She sounded in approval._  
  
_“Not in the sense he meant or what you’re thinking, but yes. You don’t have any supernatural abilities like most would think, but you don’t need them anyways.”_  
  
_“So then how am I supposed to save him?”_  
  
_“Take him out.”_  
  
_“But who is he!?” I shouted, growing annoyed with the unclearness of the entire situation._  
  
_“I think you know who. He’s tried killing him once, and he’ll do it again. Take him out to save him.” I groaned while starting to pace down the shore._  
  
_“But that’s not exact! Give me a name, a face- anything!”_  
  
_“He doesn’t have a face. His face is blurred.” I stopped moving when I realized who she meant._  
  
_“But he’s in his mind. How do I take someone out in his mind without killing him?”_  
  
_“You’ll find a way. He was born of your departure, you know. If you brought him here, you can take him out.” I slumped against a rock, starting to cry from frustration._  
  
_“So this is all my fault then? The reason he’s here trying to kill him is me.” I felt someone rubbing circles in my back, soothing me._  
  
_“Your faults don’t define you, Joshua. How you correct them and learn from them is what makes you who you are.” Her voice came from beside me, in Tyler’s body, while continuing to calm me._  
  
_“B-But I don’t get how. There’s so many ways he can take him out and I’m just… there’s only so much I can do. Tyler’s a goner and it’s all my fault!” I felt him grow rigid beside me._  
  
_“Joshua. You can wallow in self-pity and give him more opportunity to win, or you can do something about it. You don’t need special abilities like I’ve told you before. You save him on your own by just being yourself. You can, and you will, save him.” Her voice was stern, but not angry._  
  
_“O-Okay. By being myself.”_  
  
_“Exactly.” ‘Tyler’ smiled._  
  
_“What do I do that’s ‘myself’?” I chuckled slightly, still feeling a little hopeless._  
  
_“You make him feel okay. You always have. You take him out of whatever situation he’s in and make his pain go away. Do you ever wonder how you always seem to know what to do whenever he feels down?”_  
  
_“So I always was supposed to be with him. So do I take Blurryface out by just distracting Tyler from him forever? That’s not going to work.”_  
  
_“You’ll find a way. I have faith in you.”_  
  
_“Well I don’t. Can’t you offer me any more help? A hint maybe?” She chuckled._  
  
_“Look in his notebook. He’ll have a new song written while listening to you sleep, and there will be your ‘hint’ in there.” I sighed as the beach faded, feeling just as confused as before._  


I woke up the next morning to see Tyler lying beside me, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. I smiled up at him before kissing his jawline. He hummed happily.  
  
“Good morning.”  
  
“Hey.” I sat up beside him. He leaned up and kissed me, slowly straddling me. He pulled away and smiled.  
  
“Sleep good?” I nodded.  
  
“Mhm. How about you?”  
  
“Yeah.” He pressed his lips to mine again, moving ever so slowly.  
"Is today your day off?"  
  
"Yep." He leaned closer, pressing his knee against my crotch. I groaned into his lips while he smirked.  
  
“How about we make this a good morning?” I kissed him feverishly, nipping at his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and let my tongue move inside him. I ran my hands down his bare chest, slipping them into the waistband of his boxers. He moaned as I moved closer to his hard-on, slowing my pace down.  
  
“J-Josh- fuck, I need you.” I smirked.  
  
“Yeah? What do you need me to do?” I slid his boxers down, inching them down his hips. He shivered from the temperature change, moaning louder as my hands moved down his thighs.  
  
“Fuck- I want you to touch me.” I smirked and pulled one hand away, licking it before wrapping it around his boner.  
  
“Like this?” I started pumping.  
  
“M-Mhmm. Just like that.” He moaned as I continued, moving quicker. “God yes, Josh!” He moaned louder, his eyes closed and his head rolled back in pleasure. He comed soon after without warning, breathing heavily as the liquid shot out across my hand. I wiped my hand off before getting out of bed. He followed my lead as I changed into pajamas and sat down on the couch.  
  
“What are we doing today?” I shrugged.  
  
“I don’t have anything planned. Maybe just hang out here today?” He nodded and leaned into me.  
  
“Okay. Movie marathon?”  
  
“Yeah! I think they’re playing the Lord of the Rings trilogy today.”  
  
“Okay, let’s watch that.” I smiled and turned the TV on to the right channel, with the first movie just starting.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story: My dad isn't really into what plays on the radio now (he mostly listens to stuff like The Beatles or Styx) and we were talking at dinner about something, I forget what, but then he started singing Pity Party by Melanie Martinez and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't the second most surprising thing to happen. The most surprising was when we were watching something on tv and 5SOS was performing and he said he really liked them


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So far the trip has been good, but there's still the whole week I'm going to be gone so never say never lol. Enjoy guys :)

Hours passed during our movie marathon. Tyler fell asleep during one of the movies, curled up into my side on the couch. I shifted closer, feeling something bump into my side- his notebook, stashed in its usual spot between the cushions. I glanced over at him to check that he was still asleep before pulling the book out of its hiding space, checking once again he wasn’t watching. I quickly flipped through the pages to the furthest one with writing on it.  
  
_‘I found my way, right time, wrong place, as I plead my case. You're the judge, oh no, set me free. You're the judge, oh no, set me free. I know my soul's freezing, Hell's hot for good reason, so please. I don't know if this song is a surrender or a revel. I don't know if this one is about me or the devil.’_ I read the lines over and over again, trying to make sense of what 'hint’ might be hidden in it. Does he mean that Blurryface and him are the same? That just made things even more confusing! I sighed and put the notebook back carefully, leaning into Tyler before slowly dozing off.  


_“Who is the judge?” I demanded as I felt her presence arrive in my sleep. “What does that- what kind of a hint is that!?” I groaned._  
  
_“Well, it’s nice to see you too.” She sarcastically replied. “You have to find that out on your own- once you do, you’ll know what to do.”_  
  
_“But what if I never find out?”_  
  
_“I have faith in you. You’ll find out, and you’ll save him.” I rolled my eyes._  
  
_“I feel like you’re getting paid to say that, since you day that all the time. I’ll double how much they’re paying you if you just tell me what I’m supposed to do!” She appeared beside me as Tyler, this time sounding like him too._  
  
_“Nuh-uh. It doesn’t work that way, Joshie. You’re his ‘guardian angel’, so guard him.” I huffed._  
  
_“You know, you really nailed his personality.” ‘He’ smiled._  
  
_“I’ve been practicing.” My eyes lit up._  
  
_“Practice! You can make yourself look and act like Tyler- so I can practice and figure out what I’m supposed to do on you!”_  
  
_“What- no you can’t! It doesn’t work like that!”_  
  
_“Then how does it work?” ‘He’ narrowed his eyes in thought before shrugging._  
  
_“I know only as much as you.”_  
  
_“So you don’t know what to do either then? So I’ve been worrying snooping around his stuff, and being paranoid about nothing!?” ‘His’ face pixelated, blurring for a moment with a sickening grin._  
  
**“Temper, Joshie. Might make me stronger. You don’t want that, right? Since you’re supposed to ‘take me out’.”** He cackled.  
  
_“How did you- you’re in Tyler’s head, not mine.” I froze from shock._  
  
**“Wow, you really are dumb. I’ll give you an actual hint so you two have an inkling of a chance of surviving this- Tyler has two notebooks, and you read the wrong one.”** _He chuckled slightly before fading back to ‘Tyler’._  
  
_“What was that?!” He grabbed at his head._  
  
_“That’s not supposed to happen…” I sighed._  
  
_“So he has two notebooks? Where’s the second one?”_  


“Tyler’s gonna hate me so much for this…” I muttered while searching our bed for his notebook taking advantage of the time he was away at work. I continued searching the sheets, balling them up and tossing them aside when I didn’t find it. I glanced over to see something poking out of the mattress- clever. I grabbed the worn notebook and started flipping to the back to find the newest song.  
  
_‘Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Shadows will scream that I'm alone. But I know we've made it this far, kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am not as fine as I seem, pardon- me for yelling, I'm telling you green- gardens are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me. A difficult beast feasting on burnt down trees, freeze frame please, let me paint a mental picture portrait. Something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead. And how it is a door that holds back contents that make Pandora's Box's contents look non-violent. Behind my eyelids are islands of violence, my mind's ship-wrecked, this is the only land my mind could, find. I did not know it was such a violent island, full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions. They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chin. And I know that I can fight or I can let the lion win. I begin to assemble what weapons I can find, cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind.’_  
  
My eyes widened after reading the last line written. “Sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind?” I asked quizzically before putting the notebook back and getting ready to see Tyler at the café. When I got there though, I couldn’t find him in his usual spot.  
  
"Hey Josh!” Patrick greeted on his way out.  
  
“Hey. Is Tyler here? He’s not behind the counter.” His smile faltered.  
  
“No I haven’t. Is everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah, just wanted to say hi and see him play maybe.” I smiled slightly. “Well thanks anyways. I’ll try asking around some more.” His smile returned slightly, obviously sensing I wasn’t telling him everything.  
  
“I hope you find him!” He called out before leaving. Mark walked over to me after.  
  
“You’re looking for him, aren’t you?” I nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I was just about to ask actually.” He sighed.  
  
“It’s not pretty…” A knot grew in my stomach from worry.  
  
“What happened?” He gestured for me to follow him to the back.  
  
“I’ll show you. Besides, it might be better for you to hear it from him, since I can't make much sense of it.” I followed him back, trying to avoid shaking or showing any other signs of anxiety. I saw Tyler sitting in his office, papers with a bunch of scribbles surrounding him while he muttered incoherently, tears streaming down his cheeks.  
“Ty?” I gently placed a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his daze.  
  
“H-Hey Josh. How has your morning been?” He forced a smile.  
  
“Pretty good, but how are you? Are you doing alright?” His smile faded slightly.  
  
“I’ve definitely been better.”  
  
“Do you want to talk about it? We can go home, and you can wrap yourself in that really big blanket you like.” I offered, smiling weakly. He nodded, his eyes vacant as he took my outstretched hand and got up. Mark smiled and handed me two cups of hot chocolate.  
  
Hey Tyler- don’t worry about coming in later if you’re not better.” I mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him before walking back to our place. He sat down on the couch, immediately wrapping a blanket around his shoulders while gripping the cup I handed him.  
  
“So what happened earlier?” He shrugged, staring blankly at the wall.  
  
“H-He came back. Said he talked to you.” My heart sank. So that was real then?  
  
“What did he say?” I wrapped my arm around him reassuringly. He leaned into my embrace.  
  
“S-Said you were stupid, and you couldn’t save me. I tried to get him to stop but it just got worse…” I sighed.  
  
“Don’t listen to him, Ty. He’s wrong. I promised that I would fix everything, and I will. In fact, I think I have an idea how to.” I smiled slightly when he looked up towards me, empty eyes filled with hope.  
  
“R-Really?”  
  
“Yep.” I kissed his forehead. “You must be tired after that. Get some sleep.” He nodded before resting his head in my lap.  
  
“Stay here?” I smiled.  
  
“Of course baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He smiled up at me before his eyelids fluttered shut.  



	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a warning for some smut in this, so you can skip this one if you want. I don't really have any key plot points to share, since this is kind of a filler unfortunately. (But seriously you have no idea how awkward it was to write this while sharing a hotel room with my family.I'm just glad they didn't ask or look at my laptop after I said I was "doing homework" lol) But other than that, enjoy! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda missed writing in Tyler's POV, so here's more of that! I think I'm continuing with it for a while too, so I hope you guys are okay with that

  
***Tyler***  


I woke up a few hours later with Josh’s arm draped around me, his head rolled back while he snored. I giggled and kissed his cheek before sliding out of his hold. I went into our room and changed out of my clothes before walking out to see him still sleeping. I huffed before wrapping my arms around him, slinging his legs over and carrying him awkwardly to our bed. I laid him down before slipping off his shoes and pulling his shirt and pants off. I pecked his lips before laying down beside him, snuggling into his side. He chuckled before wrapping his arm around me.  
  
“’Night, Tyler.” I looked up at him in surprise.  
  
“You big faker! You weren’t sleeping, were you?”  
  
“Well I was until you knocked my head into a wall carrying me here.” My face flushed.  
  
“I-I’m so sorry, are you alright?” He giggled.  
  
“I was joking. You didn’t bump me into anything. I just woke up when you were undressing me, since you didn’t bring the blanket close enough.” He poked his tongue out.  
  
“Sorry…” I giggled nervously while he kissed my cheek.  
  
“It’s okay. I get to stay warm by cuddling with you now.” I smiled and moved closer before pulling the covers over us.  
  
“Night Josh. I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, Ty.”  


I woke up in the middle of the night again, hearing Josh muttering in his sleep.  
  
“No… Blurry’s not him…One Tyler’s not.” He said softly, rolling into my chest. I smiled slightly while rubbing his back before pulling my notebook out, writing down what he said to make into a song when his dream faded as usual. “Don’t let me be gone.” He looked up right at me while saying that, catching me off guard.  
  
“I-I won’t?” He leaned closer into me, nestling his head into my chest.  
  
“Don’t… don’t let me be…” He calmed down after, smiling slightly in his sleep. I flipped to a page in the very back I had something written in before, scratching out the title. ‘ ~~I’m A~~ Goner.’ I wrote what he said to fit the previously made song before putting my notebook back and falling asleep soon after.  


“Tyler, wake up. You’re gonna be late for work, baby.” Josh giggled while poking my side. I groaned I looked over at the clock- 8:50. My shift started in ten minutes!  
  
“Shoot!” I jumped out of bed and hurried around, getting ready. Josh walked me to work in his fleecy pajama pants and a shirt he cut the sleeves off of.  
  
“Hey, are you feeling alright for this today? Cause yesterday you kinda…” I sighed and nodded, pulling on a smile.  
  
“I’ll be fine, Jish.” I kissed his cheek before walking into the café. He followed me in and got a coffee before sitting at one of the tables.  
  
“Hey, are you feeling better?” Mark walked over.  
  
“Yeah.” I smiled slightly, starting to work.  
  
“Brendon’s out today. He called in, so you’re by yourself.” I nodded and started working. The café luckily wasn’t that busy today, just Patrick and a few others walking in. Today he was reading a collection of different stories about mythical creatures Pete really liked, he said. I looked over at Josh after, he was completely lost in thought, staring at the table absently. I smiled and sat in front of him while taking my break.  
  
“Is this seat taken?” I chuckled before sitting across from him. He looked up and smiled.  
  
“Hey. Your shift’s over already?”  
  
“Nope. Almost though. I want to show you something though.” He nodded.  
  
“What would that be?” I gestured towards the piano and sat down behind it. He followed and stood beside me. My fingers flowed on the keys, my voice following in the song.  
  
_“I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath,_  
  
_I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath,_  
  
_I want to be known by you,_  
  
_I want to be known by you._  
  
  
_I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath,_  
  
_I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath,_  
  
_I want to be known by you,_  
  
_I want to be known by you._  
  
  
_Though I'm weak and beaten down,_  
  
_I'll slip away into this sound,_  
  
_The ghost of you is close to me,_  
  
_I'm inside-out, you're underneath._  
  
  
_I've got two faces, blurry's the one I'm not,_  
  
_I've got two faces, blurry's the one I'm not,_  
  
_I need your help to take him out,_  
  
_I need your help to take him out._  
  
  
_Though I'm weak and beaten down,_  
  
_I'll slip away into this sound,_  
  
_The ghost of you is close to me,_  
  
_I'm inside-out, you're underneath._  
  
  
_Though I'm weak and beaten down,_  
  
_I'll slip away into this sound,_  
  
_The ghost of you is close to me,_  
  
_I'm inside-out, you're underneath._  
  
  
_Don't let me be gone._  
  
_Don't let me be gone._  
  
_Don't let me be gone._  
  
_Don't let me be gone._  
  
  
_Don't let me be!_  
  
_Don't let me be!_  
  
  
_I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath._  
  
_I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath._  
  
_I want to be known by you,_  
  
_I want to be known by you.”_ He started up at me, awe mixed in his smile.  
  
“Man, every time you play I’m always blown away. I love it.” I smiled sheepishly.  
  
“Thanks. I kinda made the vocals up as I went- like I had the words, but not the notes.” He nodded.  
  
“I really like the build in the end. It was really good!”  
  
“Thanks.” I blushed slightly. Mark came over with coffees before I got off work. We walked home together.  
  
“So what were you thinking about back there? You seemed pretty out of it.”  
  
“Just… a way to get out of this mess. I mean- I have one already, but it’s kind of a last-ditch effort.” I nodded, not pressing further in case he might not want to talk about it. “Also now your song. It felt really familiar, have you played that one before?” I shook my head.  
  
“Nope. That’s the first time I played it around you.”  
  
“Huh. It felt so familiar, like I’ve heard those words before.” I giggled slightly.  
  
“Well you did say a few of the lines in your sleep last night.” He rolled his eyes while opening the apartment door.  
  
“What a surprise, I sleep talked, _again._ ” I continued giggling before lying in bed, pulling my shirt off under the covers. “Are you tired already? It’s only like noon, and you have another shift later.” I pouted.  
  
“Can’t we just lay in bed and cuddle?” He chuckled before slipping his shirt off and lying beside me.  
  
“Alright, if you really want to.” He wrapped an arm around me and smiled, nestling into my chest. I moved closer and smiled, slight awe in my eyes from the ghostly wings sprouting from his back when the sunlight hit him just right. I rubbed my eyes and saw them gone after though, so I decided it was a trick my eyes were playing. Maybe I was just exhausted, or letting the situation get the best of me. I looked over at Josh and smiled, twirling a strand of his emerald hair. He smiled back and leaned up before pressing a kiss on my lips. I melted in the kiss, humming in approval into his mouth where the light sound was greedily swallowed as he moved closer, pressing himself on top of me. I moaned when his hands glided down my bare chest, resting on my hips. He licked my bottom lip before sliding his tongue into my mouth twirling it around mine.  
  
“Mm- Josh…” I moaned happily when his hand slid below the waist of my pants. He pulled away before lying beside me, sighing.  
  
“I… I can’t. Not now, it won’t be right.” I snuggled up beside him and smiled.  
  
“It’s alright, I understand.” I slyly slid my hand across his chest and down his stomach.  
  
“Yeah, I mean we’re both stressed, and using sex to release that tension doesn’t-“ He broke off into a groan when I slid my hand down his pants slowly.  
  
“Doesn’t what?” I smirked and continued down lower.  
  
“D-Doesn’t… seem like- fuck it!” He slammed his lips into mine before situating himself on top of me again. I gasped when he bit my lip hard. “You’re being very bad, Tyler. You know I’m supposed to treat my baby boy right, not the other way around.” He growled before biting down on my collar bone. I cried out, gripping tightly onto his shoulders. He smirked.  
  
“By the time I’m through with you, there isn’t going to be an inch of you that’s not marked.” He continued down, biting and sucking at any exposed skin. My nails dug into his shoulder blades while I moaned.  
  
“J-Josh. Ne-Need you.” He looked up with dark eyes before placing his finger on my lips, making a ‘tsk’ sound.  
  
“Somebody keeps forgetting to be patient. Seems like we’ll have to fix that.” He slowly placed his lips on mine after. I bucked my hips up, only to have them be held down by him. “Nuh-uh. Bad boy.” I whined.  
  
“But Josh! I need y-“ He grabbed my jawline squishing my lips together. He sighed.  
  
“You’ll never learn this way. Hmm, guess we’ll have to try something else.” His voice dripped with lust as he pulled my pants and boxers off, revealing my hard cock. I moaned when he gripped my thighs tightly and forced them apart.  
  
“Fuck yes Josh-“ I moaned as his fingers bruised my thighs. He shimmied out of his pants, lining himself up with my entrance after slipping a condom on. He slammed full-force in me, making me groan.  
  
“Always so tight…” He muttered before moving without warning. He started sucking more marks onto me while thrusting. I moaned loudly, coming very quickly. He pulled out after coming and gripped my jawline again, leaving light bruises. “Learned your lesson?” I nodded, yawning while cuddling into him. He smiled and wrapped an arm around me. He looked over and sighed.  
  
“What?”  
  
“It’s almost six now, you have work.” I looked up at him.  
  
“Yeah, but you can come with me, like usual.” He smiled slightly before sitting up.  
  
“Alright.” He got up and changed. I got up and went to change, sharp pain shooting through the small of my back. I gasped out in pain. His head poked around the doorway from where he was putting his shoes on.  
  
“You alright?” I limped over to him after slipping my pants on.  
  
“Y-Yeah. Just a little sore.” He chuckled, his eyes suggestive.  
  
“You can call in if it’s really bad. I’ll give you a massage.” I rolled my eyes while pulling my shirt on.  
  
“Nice try. I still need to make money though, so maybe after work.” He groaned slightly in annoyance.  
  
“Fine! But it’s happening when you get off.” I giggled slightly while grabbing my keys.  
  
“Alright. C’mon.” I pecked his cheek before walking out into the cool evening.  



	43. Chapter 43

Work passed by really slowly, since no one was coming into the shop this late at night. I sat down beside Josh when I took my break in the middle, groaning in pain.  
  
“Are you sure you’re okay? Sounds like it really hurts.” He giggled behind his hands while I rolled my eyes.  
  
“I’ll be fine. Man, you really did a number on me earlier.” He giggled louder.  
  
“Well maybe now you’ll be patient.” My face flushed while he leaned into me. I sat with him for a few more minutes before getting off my break and starting to work again. After a while of more standing around behind the counter with no one coming in, Mark closed up the shop and we walked home.  
  
“Josh?”  
  
“Yeah?” He smiled at me.  
  
“Can you-um, do you think maybe…?” He giggled.  
  
“Now you want the massage, don’t you?” I nodded.  
  
“Yeah. Standing around didn’t help.” He continued giggling.  
  
“Well alright. But I’m not going easy on you, since you still need to learn your lesson.” I swallowed hard and nodded, excitement coursing through me when we walked through the door. He pulled me away from where I was headed towards the bedroom and laughed.  
  
“But aren’t you-“  
  
“Giving you a massage? Why yes, I am. So lay down on the floor with your shirt off.” I did as he asked, grunting when he sat on my legs. He giggled as he started rubbing my shoulders. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you. You’re so tense, just take a deep breath.” I sighed as he continued rubbing down my back, purposely avoiding the part that hurt most.  
  
“Josh!” I groaned impatiently when he avoided it yet again.  
  
“What did I tell you about being impatient?” He pressed down on it hard, causing me to shout.  
  
“Ow! Impatience i-is bad…” I muttered while he continued gently massaging.  
  
“Good. What else happens if you’re impatient?” He leaned in closer.  
  
“I-I get nothing.” He continued massaging, staying really close.  
  
“Good job, baby. I think you’ve learned your lesson. This time.” He smirked before rubbing down to my lower back, releasing the tension where it hurt. I sighed happily, smiling up at him as he moved away.  
  
“Thanks Josh.” He smiled.  
  
“You’re welcome.” He pecked my cheek while I sat down beside him. I leaned into him, my eyelids soon fluttering shut.  


**“He’s never going to figure it out. You give him way too much credit.”** _Blurryface spoke to someone I couldn’t see._  
  
_“And you don’t give him enough. Joshua will do well, he already is.” A feminine voice responded. Blurryface scoffed._  
  
**“Because you’re giving him power. That sounds like foul play to me.”**  
  
_“I gave him no special abilities. All the power he has is his own, which means he’s getting stronger.” A faint smile sounded in her voice. Blurryface rolled his eyes._  
  
**“Like that’s possible.”**  
  
_“It is. He’s growing, as is Tyler. Soon enough you’ll be vanquished, and all will be well.” She walked past after their meeting, only visible through a light glow. Blurryface smirked as she left._  
  
**“Not if he dies before the test.”**

I jolted awake, gasping for air while Josh wrapped his arms around me.  
  
“Shh. Tyler. Look at me, Ty. Deep breaths, okay?” He started guiding my breathing until I calmed down enough to breathe somewhat normally again. “There, see? Nothing’s wrong.”  
  
“N-No. He’s gonna kill you, Josh. Kill you!” He held onto me tightly.  
  
“Shh. Not if I can help it, baby. I don’t plan on leaving any time soon.” He petted my hair while running his other hand down my back comfortingly.  
  
“B-But Josh, he’s going to ki-“  
  
“Tyler. I’m not dying, I promise. That was just a dream, not real.” I sighed and nodded.  
  
“N-Not real.”  
  
“That’s right. It’s not real. C’mon, let’s go lay in bed. You might be able to sleep better there.” I nodded and shakily stood up before he gently pushed me down, shaking his head.  
  
“Nuh-uh. You’re tired, allow me.” He smiled and picked me up bridal style. I nestled into his chest as he carried me back to the bed, laying me down before cuddling beside me. He pecked my lips. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” I giggled slightly from the new nickname.  
  
“Goodnight, Joshie.”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.”  


I woke up from dreamless sleep to something clattering in the kitchen. I got up and sleepily walked over to investigate, finding Josh surrounded by pots and pans and plates filled with food.  
  
“Josh? What’re you doing?” I slurred sleepily. He jumped back, dropping another dish.  
  
“Nothing’s broken, I swear!” I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his waist.  
  
“Then what are you doing, baby?”  
  
“…Making breakfast.” He glanced around at the mess he made before answering, giggling slightly. “I think.”  
  
“What are you making that makes such a big mess?” He shrugged while smiling sheepishly.  
  
“Crepes?” I giggled.  
  
“I have no clue what that is, but it smells good.” He jumped back and checked one of the pans on the stove, sighing in relief.  
  
“Not burnt. 5th time’s the one!” I scoffed.  
  
“5th!? I hope you haven’t ruined any of my dishes.”  
  
“I didn’t- well there was the knife that got stuck in the cutting board when I was slicing strawberries, but nothing else is ruined!”  
  
“You got a knife stuck in the cutting board!?” He giggled while nodding.  
  
“Yeah… How did I screw up breakfast so badly?” I giggled along, wiping some batter that splashed on his cheek while making another crepe.  
  
“I don’t know, but we better clean it up.” I started gathering dishes and washing them while he finished cooking. He helped finish cleaning dishes after the food was done.  
  
“Sorry about the kitchen.” I giggled and pecked his nose after finishing.  
  
“It’s alright. I just hope we can get the knife out.” He chuckled.  
  
“Yeah. But we should eat first before it gets cold.” I nodded and followed him to the table and started eating. “So, was it worth the mess?” I looked up at him with a mouthful of food.  
  
“Well worth it!” We continued eating in comfortable silence. “So, where did you put the cutting board?” He blushed while pulling it out of the trash, a big knife protruding from the side of it.  
  
“How did you even- why were you using a knife that big for strawberries in the first place?” He shrugged.  
  
“I dunno, but it’s stuck now.” He set the board down on the counter. I tried pulling it out of the board but to no avail. I continued trying again.  
  
“No use, it’s stuck in there good.” He sighed, staring intently at it.  
  
“Should we bring it over to the café to see if Mark or Brendon can get it out?” I shrugged.  
  
“Could be worth a shot.” Let’s go.” I pulled a sweater on after putting some jeans on. Josh put a t-shirt on but kept his pajama pants on, walking with me to the café while I held the board.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I'm not really allowed to cook much since I burned minute rice once, so that's why all my cooking scenes are written poorly, cause I don't have any experience with it lol


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter I'm considering pretty triggering, so feel free to skip it if you'd like. All you gotta know is Blurryface tries to make good on his word to do something to Josh when they bring the cutting board to the cafe and Brendon gets the knife out. Then Tyler has a bad dream involving Blurryface himself and stuff's gonna get pretty intense from now until the end of the story ~~because while I may not know when the end of the world is I know the end of this story is nigh~~ , and yeah. That's about it, just some blanket-fort-Taco-Bell-eating fluff in the end

“Hey Tyler, Josh. What brings you in on your day off?” Brendon smiled from behind the counter.  
  
“If you’re not too busy, we need some help.”  
  
“Oh? What’s wrong?” He walked out from behind the counter, stopping and bursting into laughter when he saw me place the board on the counter. “How did you guys do that!?”  
  
“I was making breakfast…” Josh replied while blushing.  
  
“Well I think I can get it, so not a problem.” He turned the board over, pulling at the knife. After a few attempts it sprung free. “Ye- oh shit look out!” He shouted as the knife was flung across, barely missing Josh.  
  
“What was that!?”  
  
“Shit, I am so sorry Josh! It’s like the thing had a mind of its own, I swear. I didn’t do it.” He chuckled before retrieving it. I swallowed hard, glancing nervously at the knife.  
  
“No worries, accidents happen. Lucky that didn’t kill me or something.” They both laughed, while I chuckled along weakly.  
  
“Well thanks, Brendon. Let’s get some coffee on the way out, Jish.” I poked his side while he ordered. After leaving, I grabbed the knife and threw in a nearby bush.  
  
“Why’d you throw the knife away, Ty? Are you feeling alright? You were acting weird after the thing with Brendon and it-“  
  
“I was right. He’s trying to kill you, that almost stabbed you in the heart, Josh!” His eyes widened.  
  
“Whoa. That’s not good.”  
  
“Yeah. We need to be more careful now.” We walked back in tense silence. I laid awake for hours, trying to find sleep. I did eventually, but didn’t dream. I instead had an unexpected visit.  


**“So, you know what my plan is.”** _Blurryface stated, sounding happy with that._  
  
_“I won’t let you. I’m not going to let you kill him without fighting it.” He sighed._  
  
**"You can’t fight fate, Tyler. I thought you knew that.”**  
  
_“Yes, but I’ll fight this.” He chuckled._  
  
**“That’s what I thought you’d say. So instead, I’ll offer you a trade: Josh for you.”**  
  
_“Why does one of us have to die? What test were you talking about before? Does it have to do with a year ago?”_  
  
**“Why are you asking so many _questions?_ ”** _He groaned._ **“Don’t question it and just say yes! It saves Josh, isn’t that what you want?” I shook my head.**  
  
_“Not if I can’t be with him.” He chuckled darkly._  
  
**“Trust me, you two won’t be apart for long. And I’ll win.”** _He added under his breath._  
  
_“Win what? What is this all for?” He sighed._  
  
**“Eventually you’ll find out.”**  
  
**“You know, I’m sick of being told ‘later’. Tell me what’s going on now, especially since it involves you killing someone.”** _His stance immediately turned angry while wearing a sick smile._  
  
**“Oh, a new attitude? I like it, _Ty_.”** _He mocked._ **“Maybe we should put this newfound outspokenness to the test.”** _I swallowed hard, fear coursing through my veins, though I didn’t let my stance or my face show it._  
  
_“Alright, let’s test it.”_  


I woke up later on the bathroom floor to a pounding headache and Josh rubbing his hands down my back.  
  
"Shh. Breathe baby, you gotta breathe.” I started gasping for air, slowly calming down with Josh’s help.  
  
“Was it him again?” I nodded shakily. He sighed.  
  
“Don’t worry. Soon, he’ll be nothing but a bad memory, I promise.” He stayed wrapped around me, reaching over to the table for his phone.  
  
“Josh, what are you-“ He placed a finger on his lips, telling me to be quiet while he was on the phone.  
  
“Hello? Hey, Mark. Tyler can’t make it in today, he’s got a cold.” He blushed slightly. “Yes, I’m positive we’re not going to ‘get freaky in bed’, you can let Brendon know that. Uh-huh. Thank you, we’ll see you tomorrow.” He hung up, smiling at me.  
  
"Josh, I need to work.”  
  
“You can afford to miss a day to relax. We’ve both had a rough few days, so now we’re making up for it. I’ll make a blanket fort, and you can play so you release some of your stress.” I smiled slightly and nodded.  
  
“Alright, only if we can get Taco Bell.” He chuckled.  
  
“Of course. If you want Taco Bell, we’ll get Taco Bell.”  


After building a fort and making a trip to Taco Bell, we laid there eating our food. Josh gently coaxed my sweater sleeves up while I was eating. I jumped away earning a sympathetic glance from him.  
  
“I trust you, Ty. I just don’t trust him. Let me check, please.”  
  
“N-No. Josh, I don’t think you want to-“ He ignored me and started pulling them up anyways. “It’s not pretty…” I warned as he continued. His breath hitched when he saw the fresh wounds.  
  
“Oh Tyler…” He brushed tears from his eyes before kissing each one.  
  
“Why do you do that every time you see something like that on me?” He smiled softly up at me.  
  
“Because kisses make everything better.” He held me close, running his fingers through my hair.  
  
“This is the last time this is happening to you ever, I swear Tyler.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO GUYS!!! I've yet to find any good Mexican food on my trip, so eat some tacos or something for my sake since I can't lol! And my step-dad is half Mexican so we usually celebrate but we're not this year and dude, it feels so weird not going to my cousin's house for a party lol


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So guys this is a pretty intense chapter. So if you're triggered by building fires or anything like that, PLEASE don't read this I don't want to trigger anyone. Or hospitals, if you're triggered by that pass over this chapter frens. What happens is Josh and Tyler go through their "test" which involves the cafe being set on fire and then Josh is kind of an idiot and runs in after Tyler, who was stuck in there. And then he wakes up in thee hospital pretty alright, but Tyler's in ICU. (spoiler alert: they're still alive sooo... yeah I'm not actually saying if they passed or not but I mean hey- they're not dead! So assume what you amy of that lol)
> 
> Also guys- this story is almost over. The next few chapters are basically finalizing the plot and tying loose ends, so yeah. Thanks for sticking around so long with what might be the longest, most scatter-brained plot to anything I've ever written :)

***Josh***   


_“So, you think you’re ready then?” I sighed, burying my toes in the sand nervously._  
  
_“I have to be. For him.” I stared out at the sunset across the water. She nodded._  
  
_“Alright. It will begin soon. I hope I know what you’re doing, Joshua.”_ After her words left me, everything slowly turned black and faded away.  


I woke up sleeping restlessly the rest of the night. What was going to happen? I rolled over to see Tyler already out of bed. I got up and started getting ready for the day, figuring that he was already at work. After making something small to eat, I sat on the couch and started flipping through the TV, a news headline catching my attention. ‘LOCAL CAFÉ SET ABLAZE IN ACCIDENT’ I froze when I saw the pictures, Mark’s café down the street in flames. Tyler! My mind screamed before I ran out of the apartment and into the street in my pajamas. When I got there, firetrucks lined the street as well as other emergency service vehicles. People shouted all over while getting the fires out and anyone inside out to safety. I glanced around nervously, spotting Brendon and Mark standing aside. I ran over to them while they watched wide-eyed while the building was devoured by smoke and fire.  
  
“Where’s Tyler?” Was the only coherent sentence I could come up with. Mark pointed towards the building.  
  
“H-He went to get Patrick.” I looked over to see Patrick being dragged out by a fireman.  
  
“No- wait! You don’t- h-he’s still in there!”  
  
“Nothing we can do about that. The building’s gonna fall.” The fireman shouted back while carrying him over to us. Patrick stared up at me when he stopped. “I-I’m sorry, Josh. I-I’m so s-sorry I tried to tell them.” I nodded at him, wiping tears away. I stared up at the building before handing everything in my pockets to Brendon.  
  
“It’s alright, Patrick.” I smiled weakly before running straight into the building, avoiding the shouts of people all around me as I pushed past the barrier. “Tyler! Ty-Tyler where are you!” I shouted between coughs from inhaling smoke. I heard a dark chuckle and a menacing voice from where the counter was before, completely distorted now.  


**“You’re too late.”** _Blurryface replied in sing-song._ **“It was him or you, and I chose for you two. You know, you are the cutest couple I’ve ever dealt with. So much it sickens me, I’ll be happy to have you two apart.”** _I clenched my jaw, adrenaline and anger coursing through me._  
  
_“Where is he?” He giggled gleefully as the terrain changed from the café to a pit of flames, a tightrope the only thing I was standing on. Blurryface continued laughing from the other side, Tyler’s limp body in his hands._  
  
**“You want him? Come get him, _angel._ ”** _He scoffed while I trembled onto the wire. I stumbled as the rope swayed in the breezes given off by the flames. He put a foot on the end and shook the wire, toppling me over. I gripped the rope tightly before falling, my knuckles turning on. He made a ‘tsk’ sound._ **“Such a pathetic angel, much less a guardian.”** _My eyes lit up in realization. I looked to my back to see my shoulder blades._  
  
_“Come on, come on, wings!” I muttered to myself. He chuckled._  
  
**“See! You don’t even know how to summon your wings, it’s pathetic!”** _I attempted to ignore him shouting at me and shaking the wire, gathering all of my strength into bringing the ghostly images of wings into being._ **“Tyler’s in danger…”** _He sing-songed while dangling his body over the edge. I looked over just as he almost dropped him, anger lighting my eyes. I felt a burning sensation across my shoulders before a heavy weight, letting go after. I smirked at my fully-formed wings, flying towards Blurryface._  
  
_“What was that you were saying about being ‘pathetic’?” I punched him in the jaw before grabbed Tyler. He glanced up at me._  
  
**“H-How- this isn’t part of the plan.”** _I smirked, placing my foot against his throat._  
  
_“Well there’s a point where life breaks all our hopes and dreams. This just happens to be yours.” I pressed harder and kicked him off the edge, grasping Tyler tightly to me._  


I woke up what felt like years later, coughing and shaking immediately when I came to. A large swarm of nurses swarmed around me, checking my vitals and other things.  
  
“You want some water, sweetheart?” One nurse asked after. I nodded, chugging the entire cup once she handed it to me, thankful for the cool drink to stop the burning in my lungs.  
  
“W-Where’s Ty-Tyler?” I asked between coughs. Her eyes became sad as she handed me another glass of water.  
  
“It’s bad, I don’t think you want to see him.” I locked my eyes with her, shakily standing up out of the bed.  
  
“Please, I-I just need to know he’s okay.” She shook her head before gently getting back in bed.  
  
“You just ran through a fire and breathed in a whole lot of smoke. You’re not in good enough condition for that yet.” I sighed.  
  
“Then can you tell me how he is? Is he alright?”  
  
“It’s the least I can do, I think. He’s in ICU, but he’s stabilizing. He had a beam fall on him, so he’s going to need a lot of recovery.” I nodded, shock settling in.  
  
“O-Okay. Thank you.” She saw the tears forming in my eyes and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.  
  
“As bad as that sounds, it’s a lot better than what could’ve happened. You’re quite the hero from what I hear. He’d be stuck in there dead if not for you running in there and dragging him out.” My eyes widened. It worked? I actually saved him?  
  
“So I… I saved his life?” She nodded.  
  
“Definitely.” She adjusted the IV and other things before smiling up at me. “Well you’re all good for now. I think I’m going to let your entourage in now, since they’ve been waiting a while.” She chuckled, gesturing towards the countless balloons and bouquets of flowers.  
  
“O-Okay, thank you.” She nodded.  
  
“My name’s Jenna if you need anything else.” I nodded looking to Brendon, Mark, and Patrick pressed up against the glass. Once they came in the over and hugged me tightly.  
  
“Oh my God josh, y-you’re insane! You could’ve died!” Patrick scolded.  
  
“But I didn’t.” I chuckled slightly. Brendon looked at me confused.  
  
"I hate to be the downer, but you both should’ve died. You breathed in enough smoke to choke on, and a support beam fell on top of you.” The air around us grew tense.  
  
"Well I guess I’m just some kind of a miracle.” I shrugged. “I’m just waiting for the moment they let me out of here so I can see him. Have you guys seen him yet?” Mark shook his head.  
  
“Nah, they won’t let us since he’s in critical.” I nodded.  
  
“So now what? The café’s gone.” Patrick commented. Mark shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know, probably get a job as a Walmart greeter or something.” He chuckled. The doctor walked in after a while of us joking around, trying to ease the tension. Dr. Ross smiled at us.  
  
“Well Josh, I have to say it’s nice to see you again but not like this. You’re absolutely insane, insanely lucky.” He checked a few things.  
  
“Any news on when I get to escape the bed?” He chuckled slightly and nodded.  
  
“Yep. Seems like you should be good to leave tomorrow. But you’re going to have to be very cautious afterwards, and I mean it. It’s not uncommon for normal things you’d do before like jogging or physical exercise to be exhausting, since your lungs are pretty weak right now. Just ease into everything, and you’ll be fine.” He smiled and walked off, winking at a jaw-dropped Brendon.  
  
“Someone break my ankle, I need a stay here!” We all laughed.  
  
“Just go talk to him!” Patrick replied.  
  
“Yeah, no one’s breaking your foot for you to blow the doctor.” Mark laughed. I smiled and continued talking with them until visiting hours were over.  



	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I don't know if I mentioned it before, but this story's like all done :) I'm posting the last three chapters today (this being one of them), and they're all fluffy. So thank you to everyone who's read this and given nice feedback on it. And for all the kudos, bookmarks, etc. Just you guys viewing this made my day so much better, and that means a lot to me. You're all sick as frick! |-/
> 
> Warning: When I said fluff, I meant FLUFF. Really tooth-rotting stuff. I listened to Colors by Halsey on repeat while writing this, and this is what happened from it lol

_“Congratulations Joshua. You both passed.” I smiled weakly, staring out at the moonlight spread across the gentle waves._  
  
_“So now what? I mean, no more Blurryface, right?” She sat beside me as Tyler and nodded._  
  
_“Yep. You took him out.” ‘He’ rested ‘his’ head on my shoulder._  
  
_“So what happens to me now? To Tyler?” ‘He’ shrugged._  
  
_“I guess whatever you did before, just go back to normal.” I chuckled slightly._  
  
_“That’s harder than you think. A lot harder.” ‘He’ giggled faintly._  
  
_“Then I suppose now you make normal.” I nodded, my gaze settling back on the ocean._  


“Today’s the big day, Josh.” Dr. Ross smiled at me after coming in with breakfast. “Your friends said they’d be here to get you soon, so you better get ready.” I smiled back weakly and nodded, putting on the clothes they brought by yesterday for me to change into after. I went into the bathroom and sighed when I caught sight of my hair, they shorter sides burned off while the top was gathered into a frizzy fluff of faded green. I came back out and smiled over at the door where they were waiting.  
  
“Ready to go, Josh?” Patrick asked, holding the wheelchair I was supposed to be escorted out in.  
  
“Yeah, there’s just one more thing I want to do here, at the front.” He nodded and let the chair go after I sat in it and wheeled to the help desk.  
  
“What can I do for you guys?” The nurse asked.  
  
“I’m looking for someone- Tyler Joseph?” She nodded and typed in the computer.  
  
“You’re in luck- he just got moved to recovery. You should be able to see him now, in room 38B.” She smiled at us.  
  
“Thank you!” I smiled and wheeled quickly over to where she said, finding Tyler inside, staring up at the TV. His eyes lit up when he saw me.  
  
“J-Josh!” His voice came out weak, followed by coughs.  
  
“Hey.” I handed him a bottle of water, which he quickly drank. “So what happened to you? They wouldn’t really tell me.” He shrugged before lifting his leg.  
  
“They said a beam fell on me, but you pushed me before it could crush me, so I just have a broken ankle. I didn’t know you were there.” I smiled weakly.  
  
“I came right over when I saw it on the news, I-I was worried sick.” He smiled.  
  
“I’m glad you did. That could’ve been so much worse if you hadn’t.” I smiled back.  
  
“I love you so, so much.” Brendon gagged while Mark laughed.  
  
“You know what? We’ll give you two a moment.” Patrick smiled while pulling Mark and Brendon out.  
  
“Fine by me! Where’d that doctor go?” Brendon yelled on his way out. I rolled my eyes before kissing Tyler gently.  
  
“You were very brave. He almost won.” His smile wavered.  
  
“So you saw that too? Not just what everyone else is saying?” He nodded.  
  
“I was out by the time you came, but he kept me trapped in there, so yeah.”  
  
“What happened before I came in? With him?”  
  
“He set the building on fire, and then when the building started falling, he blocked me in. I started getting dizzy from the smoke, and then I woke up in here.”  
  
“Something similar happened to me too. I ran in there and got trapped by him, and then he had you. So I saved you, and then there was too much smoke so I blacked out and woke up in here.” He nodded, running his hand down the side of my head, smiling slightly.  
  
“Your hair, Joshie! We worked so hard on it.” He pouted while I giggled.  
  
“I know. But after I clean up the top a bit, I’m leaving it natural. Dying it and burning it seems like a bit much.” He smiled.  
  
“Yes! Finally I get to see your natural hair color on you.” I chuckled.  
  
“It’s really not that great, I promise.” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Whatever you say. I don’t believe it though.” I smiled. He sighed.  
  
“Well you should go home and rest now. They’re letting you out now, after all.” I leaned over and kissed him.  
  
“When I come back I’ll have brown hair and a huge bunch of flowers for you!” He smiled.  
  
“I love you!”  
  
“I love you more!” I shouted while wheeling out to the front. I looked back one more time to see a huge smile on his face, but with sad and tired eyes. My own smile faded as I went over to where Brendon, Mark, and Patrick were waiting.  
  
“You ready to go?” I nodded, getting in one of their cars- Patrick’s.  
  
“You alright Josh? You seem kinda down.” I smiled softly.  
  
“Yeah. It’s just, he’s been through so much, and you can tell in his eyes.” He nodded.  
  
“Well you both have now. That’s one of the best parts of you two being together, you’re always there for one another. Before Pete left, I was always at his bedside.” I chuckled slightly, remembering the stories he told about his past lover.  
  
“He must’ve hated that.” He laughed faintly.  
  
“Oh, he did. He always told me I needed to get a life outside of there, but I didn’t want to. I can see that with you and Tyler, but he’ll be out soon.” I nodded thinking back to the hospital before bursting into laughter. “What?” Patrick laughed along slightly.  
  
“This is gonna sound so bad, but the ankle that the beam hit was the same one he sprained when I hit him with my truck!” His eyes widened.  
  
“You hit him with your truck!?”  
  
“Not hard- I was going like 3 miles an hour because I just drove into the intersection.” He nodded. “It’s how we met.” I smiled fondly, thinking back to that day.  
  
“Really? You two met because you ran him over?”  
  
“I didn’t run him over! Besides- he shouldn’t have been wearing all black while walking down the road at night.” He raised his eyebrow.  
  
“That’s a story I’m gonna need to hear sometime.” He stopped in front of our apartment. “Well here we are. Are you going to need help with anything?” I shook my head.  
  
“No, I’m probably going to just take a shower and then sleep.” He smiled.  
  
“Good, you need rest. I’ll see you around!” He shouted out the car while pulling away. I waved before going inside. I looked over and saw everything how I left it before- half-eaten breakfast on the coffee table, the TV on, and Tyler’s ukulele resting against the wall beside a small stack of notebooks. I smiled slightly before walking into the bathroom and showering.  


_“So now what?” She shrugged, appearing to me now in her regular form- long chestnut-brown hair and large, brown eyes._  
  
_“I don’t know. He’s not completely defeated, so you can’t leave Tyler if you wanted to.”'_  
  
_“Wait- he’s not defeated!?” She shook her head._  
  
_“Nope. Demons are a persistent bunch, so he’ll stick around- even though he’s extremely weak. He can’t do much now thanks to you though.” I smiled faintly._  
  
_“So he’s gone, but not gone.”_  
  
_“Exactly. Tyler needs your protection from now on, so you can’t travel around anymore.” My smile grew._  
  
_“Like I ever planned on leaving him again.”_  



	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I mentioned before I was traveling to Philly to see my sister, and that's been pretty good. Except I don't get the people here- they glare at me a lot! What I usually wear is like a black band or anime shirt with dark skinny jeans and black eyeliner, complete with boots or converse and wristbands so could it be that? I see more people dressed like that at home in California, so that's like normal. But there's no one dressed up here like that as regular attire, it's so weird! And there's so many people smoking, wayy more than in California. But like cigarettes, not other stuff (that I know of)

I woke up late in the morning and got dressed quickly before going to the flower shop, picking the largest bunch with pastels.  
  
“Special occasion?” The cashier asked while ringing me up.  
  
“Nope, just a gift.” I smiled after paying, walking back to my truck and placing the bouquet on the passenger seat, next to one of his notebooks and ukulele. I walked into the hospital, waving and exchanging greetings with the nurses that recognized me from many visits in the past month. I walked into Tyler’s room, running a hand through my dark-brown hair.  
  
“Hey Josh!” Tyler smiled up at me from the bed.  
  
“Hey, Ty.” I pecked his lips before handing him the items in my hand. He reached for the flowers and smiled at me.  
  
“They’re beautiful. Thank you.” I smiled.  
  
“They made me think of you, so I had to get them.” He chuckled while blushing.  
  
“The doctor came in earlier.”  
  
“And? What did he say?” I grew eager.  
  
“I’m going home later today.” I smiled excitedly.  
  
“Yes! Finally!” He chuckled.  
  
“I’m still going to be on crutches though.” I smiled over at him.  
  
“That’s alright- they’re not permanent.” He nodded while I sat down in the chair beside him, holding onto his hand. He squeezed back and smiled.  
  
“Good thing you brought me some clothes earlier this week, huh?” He chuckled slightly while I smiled.  
  
“Yeah. I brought your flowery- thing too.” His eyes lit up.  
  
“My kimono? I thought I saw it there, but I wasn’t sure. Thank you!” I giggled and kissed his cheek.  
  
“You’re welcome, sweetie.” He blushed from the new nickname and smiled.  
  
“That sounds like something my mom would call me.” His eyes widened. “My mom! We have to call her and let her know I’m okay!” He continued panicking about talking to his parents before I pressed my lips to his.  
  
“Calm down, baby. We’ll call her together in the car, so she knows we’re both okay.” He smiled softly and nodded. The doctor knocked on the door while clearing his throat.  
  
“Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you ready for the big moment?” We both nodded while I helped Tyler out of his bed.  
  
“Wait- didn’t you come in with Mark and Brendon?” I nodded.  
  
“They should be in the waiting room, they didn’t want to come in since we would be ‘too couple-y’.” He giggled and nodded.  
  
“Are you sure about Brendon though? I heard about him and Dr. Ross.” I laughed and rolled my eyes while helping situate him in a wheelchair.  
  
“If he’s not done in five minutes, I’m leaving him. At least then he’ll have more time.” The doctor laughed.  
  
“Seems like you guys are all set then. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to see you again!” We all laughed for a moment before I grabbed onto his crutches and pushed him out of the hospital for hopefully the last time.  


After getting Tyler in the truck, I went around and got in the driver’s side, pulling my phone out.  
  
“Do you wanna call now?” He nodded.  
  
“Better now than later.” I handed him the phone.  
  
“Alright. Let’s do this now then.” I smiled while he entered the number, putting it on speaker.  
  
_“Hello?”_  
  
“Hey mom.”  
  
_“Hey, Tyler! It’s been a while.”_ He smiled, his eyes crinkling.  
  
“Yeah, it has. You didn’t see anything on the news did you?”  
  
_“No, I don’t really get any news from LA. Just something about a coffee shop.”_ My smile faltered.  
  
“Y-Yeah, Tyler works there- er, he did.” She grew silent.  
  
_“Are you okay? You boys aren’t hurt are you?”_ He smiled.  
  
“I just broke my ankle. Josh saved me, so it was almost worse.” She gasped.  
  
_“Oh my gosh! What were you two thinking!?”_  
  
“I was working mom! It’s not like I wanted the building to set on fire.”  
  
“Yeah- and I ran over to make sure he was safe!”  
  
“He did a good job of that too! I was almost killed, but wasn’t because of Josh!”  
  
_“You almost died!? Tyler Robert Joseph, you better have a good reason for-“_ He sighed.  
  
“Almost, mom. Josh saved me, and is the reason my ankle’s broken and my spine wasn’t crushed.”  
  
_“You saved him?”_ I nodded.  
  
“Sure did. I don’t plan on having him leave me any time soon.” I chuckled and snaked my arms around his hips.  
  
“Darn- there go all my plans of leaving you, so much for that!” He sarcastically replied before giggling. I giggled along and rested my head on his shoulder. His mom chuckled.  
  
_“Well, if you two are safe then… How is everything else?”_  
  
“Good.” I smiled over at Tyler.  
  
“Yeah- we have an apartment together.”  
  
_“That’s good. I don’t want you two on the streets!”_ She joked.  
  
“Yeah. That wouldn’t be good.” I smiled.  
  
“How is everyone else?” Tyler asked. His mom sighed.  
  
_“We’re good. Zack Maddie, and Jay miss you, and so do I. But we know you’re happy out there.”_  
  
“And how’s dad?”  
  
_“He’s-uh… he’s your dad. Everything’s fine sweetheart. I told them what happened, so they know, don’t worry.”_ Her voice was filled with a smile.  
  
“Well okay. We’ll let you get back to work.”  
  
_“Okay sweetheart. I love you!”_  
  
“I love you too mom.” He smiled.  
  
_“And I love you, Josh.”_ I smiled.  
  
“I love you too, Mrs. Joseph.” She chuckled.  
  
_“Next time you call I better be mom!”_ She hung up. I smiled at Tyler.  
  
“What?” I chuckled.  
  
“Nothing. Can’t I stare at my boyfriend because he’s fricken gorgeous?” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Just drive, you dork.” Mark came over to the car while dragging Brendon.  
  
“Sorry we’re late. _Somebody_ was busy, but doesn’t have any other ride. So we’re stuck with him.” I chuckled.  
  
“Well I got his number now!” Brendon shouted while smiling gleefully. “And his name’s Ryan!” I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Alright, well if you and Ryan would rather be busy, we have to be back here later to pick up medicines, so I’ll leave you here.”  
  
“See! No one wants to hear about that!” Mark commented while Brendon took off running to the hospital. Tyler chuckled.  
  
“So where to now?”  
  
“Lunch with Patrick. He asked about meeting us at some pizza down the road from the café.” He nodded and turned the radio on while I started driving. We went past the charred remains, a heavy air surrounding the entire truck. Mark directed me from there to the pizza place.  
  
“Hey!” Patrick smiled when we walked in. “So what happened to Brendon?” Mark started giggling, Tyler and I joining in only slightly.  
  
“He ditched us for his new favorite doctor.”  
  
“Oh. Okay, then I guess he’s not getting pizza.” He rolled his eyes, chuckling slightly. We sat down and continued chatting and eating. Tyler pulling his camera out and took a picture of all of us before we left.  
  
“Josh!” He whined from where I was about to get in.  
  
“What? Do you need help?” I went around and put his crutches in the back before helping him in.  
  
“Thanks baby.” He pressed his lips to mine, taking a picture. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Give me that!”  
  
“What- no!” He giggled and slid over to the driver’s side.  
  
“Ugh- please? I’m not gonna break it.” He rolled his eyes before handing it over. “Thank you.” I took a picture of me before moving closer to him and taking a picture of us.  
  
“There. As if you didn’t already have a ton of pictures of us together.” He giggled before whining again.  
  
“The film’s all used!” I chuckled.  
  
“That’s a good thing. We can get it developed now, and buy a few more rolls.” He smiled.  
  
“Can we do that now?”  
  
“Of course.” I smiled.  



	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, big finish! Thanks for sticking around for so long, and with my periods of writer's block, and plot changes that seem totally random, and everything else. Thank you for putting up with my weirdness :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun story: SO my mom watches this show called the Amazing Race and I looked up while writing and saw Tyler Oakley???? Like OMG THA'S TYLER OAKLEY KICK EVERYONE'S ASSES YOU FABULOUS QUEEN YOU TYLER

***Tyler***  


Time went by fast, the two months I was on crutches coming and going quickly. Josh quit his travels, deciding to stay with me in LA. We both got jobs at Mark’s new place, but during different shifts. Tonight was our day off though, and Josh said he had something planned.  
  
“Won’t you just tell me where we’re going?” He giggled, swatting my hand away from the blindfold he made me wear on the way there.  
  
“Not a chance, baby. It took me way too long to find a place this nice for this.” I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Fine… It better be worth it though.” I could tell he was smiling wistfully.  
  
“I hope it is.”  


"Tyyyyler!” He started shaking me awake. “Sorry the drive was long, but we’re finally here!” I smiled and reached for the blindfold, only to have my hand smacked away again. “Ow! Josh!” Just show me!”  
  
“Not yet. I gotta get a few more things set up, so hang on.” I sighed and nodded, sitting in the bed of te truck. He pulled a box out from beside me and started taking its contents out.  
  
“Josh!” I whined impatiently. He giggled.  
  
“Almost done.” When he finished, he tossed the empty box back before climbing in the bed and reaching behind me. “Ready?” I groaned.  
  
“Josh, I’ve been ready. Show me, please!” He chuckled before pulling the thick fabric away from my eyes. I looked around and gasped, countless strings strung around the branches of many trees in a forest with every photo I’ve taken since we first met clipped to them. Papers in the middle of each had letters on them, spelling out two words: ‘marry me?’ He got down on one knee in front of the truck, holding a small velvet box.  
  
“Surprise?” I gasped and nodded before leaping out and tackling him.  
  
“Duh! Yes, yes, yes, yes!” I giggled while showering him in kisses.  
  
“You didn’t even look at the ring yet!”  
  
“Don’t need to to know I love you and want this. I’m sure it’s nice though.” He smiled and slipped the band on while I hugged him.  
  
“Now will you look at it?” I nodded and looked down to see a black band engraved with the date we met on the inside, as well as a short phrase with a ukulele.  
  
“’Fallen for Uke.’ Did you really get that engraved on there!?”  
  
“I thought it was funny! I’ve completely fallen for you, and you play ukulele. You, uke, get it?” I chuckled while rolling my eyes.  
  
“Yes Jish, I get the pun. It’s kinda cute, actually.” He giggled.  
  
"See! And when we get mine for the ceremony you can pick anything you want to be engraved in it!” I smirked mischievously.  
  
“’Anything I want’?” He nodded.  
  
“Anything you want.” I smiled before kissing him.  
  
“I love you so much.”  
  
“I love you too.”  


I came into work the next day, pecking Josh’s lips as we traded places behind the counter. I put my apron on and smiled.  
  
“Hey Tyler!” Patrick greeted when he came in.  
  
“Hey! Lemongrass?” He shook his head.  
  
“Nope. Lavender today. With a little bit of honey?” I nodded, writing his order on a cup.  
  
“Mixing things up?” He smiled.  
  
“Yeah. This is the last book in Pete’s collection, and it had special instructions to read it.” I nodded while he paid. He gently reached over and grabbed my hand, admiring the ring.  
  
“When did this happen?” I smiled brightly.  
  
“Yesterday. And check this part out!” I slipped it off before handing it to him to read the pun.  
  
“’Fallen for uke’ Aw, you guys are so adorable!” He smiled and handed it back to me, grabbing his ready order. “Congratulations you two!” He shouted before walking out. I smiled and waved, staring over at the ring. How was I going to do Josh’s? I smiled and giggled to myself when I thought of something.  
  
“What’s so funny, Ty-guy?” Brendon asked when he came in late for work.  
  
“Nothing, just thinking of puns. I need to get back at Josh for making a pun first.” He laughed.  
  
“You’re being serious right now?”  
  
“Uh, yeah! Puns are very serious!” I smiled. He rolled his eyes and started making the orders I got. Our shift continued until the end of the day. When I finished, I sat down at Mark’s new piano, the outside part of it made out of wood. Josh walked over and smiled.  
  
“Are you going to play something?” I nodded, my fingers running down the keys. I looked up at him and smiled before playing ‘Ruby’. He chuckled.  
  
“That has some major in-real-life foreshadowing!” I smiled, thinking to the lyrics. My smile grew.  
  
“I guess so, angel.” Mark and Brendon locked up while we stood there.  
  
“Are you two coming or what? We still need to celebrate!” Brendon shouted. I smiled at Josh and stood up walking out with him. Our hands laced together as we walked with them to wherever Brendon wanted to go to celebrate that wasn’t a bar, the moon high in the night sky lit by hundreds of lights.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da! That's all :)


End file.
